"For God’s sake let us sit upon the ground and tell gross stories of disgusting thing

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

(Thank you, Mr. Shakespeare)

I need something to keep me awake, and being grossed-out seems to do it, if the huge cockroach on the ceiling above the ladies’ room door is any indication. Sooo, what is the grossest, most disgusting thing that has ever happened to you?

I had to think long and hard for mine, but I think removing a nasal/gastric tube from a vomit-covered cat fits. Dorothy had just come back from the vet after major surgery, with a lampshade around her neck and feeding tube in her nose. I injected the tube with a few ounces of liquid food, and Dorothy promoted threw up about ten gallons—I have no idea where it all came from. The lampshade was full to overflowing.

I got the vet on the phone, and he talked me through taking off the lampshade (major cat-puke spill) and removing the nasal/gastric tube with nail scissors, Dorothy clamped between my knees, struggling madly and flinging puke hither and yon. After it was all done, she gave me a look and went to have some real food, which she kept down.

2

When my sister was around 9 or 10, she got a nasty cold/flu kind of thing. My mother brought out the Nyquil. I don’t think they had the slightly less disgusting cherry flavor then; it was the nasty vile original flavor. Izzybella kept telling Mom that if she had to take the Nyquil, she’d puke. Mom finally basically forced it down her throat. About 5 seconds later–whoosh! Izzybella projectile vomited 15 feet across the room, and the rest of us stared, stunned, at the blue Nyquil oozing down the wall.

It was really cool! In a gross, disgusting sort of way. :wink:

3

So my husband told me this story with a :dubious: face. I choose to believe it since he heard it first hand. He thinks it’s a fabrication (but not enough to keep from repeating it) Snopes has no evidence that I’ve found.

So a guy Brian works with and his drunk friends decided to go ‘cow-tipping’, not realizing how heavy cows were, and plus, they couldn’t find any cows. They were driving around all night and finally saw one cow, a lonely beast, resting in the field. So one of the drunk friends takes a running start and…

RUNS RIGHT THROUGH THE COW. RIGHT THE F THROUGH IT. Because the Cow was abandoned and f-ing DEAD and it was nothing but a standing carcass of rotting flesh and maggots that tore apart at the slightest touch.

I’m throwing up mentally.

4

Okay…I didn’t see this with my own eyes, but my brother-in-law just filled me in on his roommate’s battle with a splinter in his knee.

Seems the splinter caused a massive infection. Roommate’s leg was swelled to three or four times its size. He finally goes to the doctor and the MD proceeds to:

[ul]slice his kneecap open (about 2-3 inches) so they can drain the infection.
stuff the slice full of about 5 feet of gauze to absorb the pus.
instruct the poor guy to remove the packing himself the following day.
told him to leave the gaping three inch gash open so the wound can continue to drain.
[/ul]

I’ll be he’s pissed he didn’t get a job that offered health insurance!

5

Two things:

Damn…my “list” bullets didn’t work.

and

The entire leg was stuffed with gauze…not just the area around the kneecap. The WHOLE fucking lower leg.

6

I’m throwing up physically! Can someone hold my hair back?

7

I don’t believe dead cows would stand and rot.

…

My own addition: when I was a kid, my dad shot some porkupines which were busy eating away at the underside of the cabin. Problem: the crawlspace under the cabin was way too small for him to get under and retrieve the spiny little corpses. Solution: return next week with little son (me).

This task combined basically everything I dreaded: “being in an enclosed space”; which was “crawling with things” (feasting on guts of dead porkupine); covered with razor-sharp spines (quills from the porkupine, shed in its death throes); the carcases of which were bloated and stinking with rot, as well as writhing with maggots - my job was to tie a rope around each corpse so it could be dragged out.

Difficult to do, when you are puking.

8

I walked into a party at a bar back in college and the table right out front that earlier had been used to collect cover charges was now occupied by this gal that we kinda universally despised because of her arrogance and predilection toward verbal diahhrea.

When we first walked in she’d obviously been drinking a fair amount and was just yackin’ on about something as usual, loving the sound of her own voice. Soon thereafter though we noticed she’d grown quiet, was leaning back against the wall and had a more fearful look in her eye.

As we stood around conversing, little miss arrogance began to put on a show for us we’d not soon forget. Ever seen one of those drip candles in a bottle that slowly but surely coats it’s entire self with colorful material? Miss arrogant twit, over the course of the next twenty minutes or so, would open her mouth and offer bits of what must have been her last dozen meals and half dozen beers to accompany all parts of her clothing, from the top of her necklace to the underside of her shoelaces. The strange thing was she didn’t move throughout… just slowly sat there and puked all over herself with her once smug mug exihibiting this look of brutal horror. I have no idea what kind of simultaneous shape her drawers were in but would be surprised if there’d been anything left for them to soil themselves with, so great was her volume of facial ejecta.

We sat there sipping our beers and observing not so much the spectacle but the looks on other people’s faces and they walked into the building and were confronted with this vomit primer right from the get go.

Might I add that from the next day forth, her once prissy attitude seemed to embrace a much more humble, endearing quality.

9

Geez, no matter what her attitude was like, that woman was obviously very ill. Sure, nobody had forced her to drink, but folks sat and watched her ooze puke for 20 minutes, and nothing was done about it? No ambulance, no moving her to a private place? Yep, touching her would have been gross, but better that than to find out it wasn’t just drunkeness, but some sort of seizure or something, that might have endangered her life.

10

Did they keep her propped up there, like a human Lava Lamp?

(I saw “last post,” “lieu,” and thought, “dare I open my own thread?”)

11

I’ve been through several gross things at hospital. But this one still confuses me.
I have always had great difficulty taking liquid medicine like N.Sane’s sister. Well in hospital I was getting pretty horrible heart burn and the only possible help was a liquid medicine, being desperate I took the vile pink creamy substance, a second later I immediately puked up a completely different liquid from my stomach. Somehow my innards had juggled the two liquids and kept the throat coating anti-acid medicine (which actually worked and was wonderful releif to the heart burn).

12

My son was about 4 and was just getting over a stomach virus. “Hey, since hillbilly kid is feeling better, let’s all go eat at Shoney’s”! So we did, and he ate not one, but TWO grilled cheese sandwiches with TWO sides of fries. While my husband was paying, I took the kid to the ladies room. Someone was in one of the 2 stalls, and by the smell, they had been there awhile, and hadn’t enjoyed their meal very much. My son actually stumbled backwards as he hit the wall off stink. I held my hand over his nose and mouth while he sat on the potty, to protect him from the smell AND so he wouldn’t say anything, I could tell he wanted to. We were driving home in our fullsize van, the kid was way back in the very back. We had just turned the corner onto our street and, "mama, I’m si… BLAAAARRRRRRGGGGGGG!!! The contents of his meal were in his lap. He stood up and projectile vomited the full length of the van and it landed on the windshield. Luckily I had turned to look at the windsheild because the next delivery hit me in the back of the head. We got rid of the van soon afterwards.

13

Rest easy, Baker. Being college students we were very much acquainted with the difference between true illness and the first time someone drank too much. Had she been in any danger we woulf have jumped through fire to help.

14

When I was a kid, I found a baby bird on the ground, dead. I thought I saw it move, thogh. After poking it with a stick, it… writhed. Or rather, the maggots did.

15

Well …

I’ve peered into a sewer or two in my time.

I’ve had an attack of sustained projectile vomiting, but that didn’t disgust me so much as the people around me.

I’ve seen live video footage of the inside of the human nasal cavity. (Gloop, gloop, gloop … )

And one of the times my neighbour took an overdose, and had to be rushed to hospital to get his stomach washed out, I got to hold the bucket. Lucky me.

16

I dunno, when I see lieu in the Last Post By field I immediately open the thread.

17

I vividly recall being about 12 years old and discovering that my much younger siblings had diarrhea and had taken off their diapers and painted the hallway with their liquid feces. It seemed to be a half-inch thick on the floor. I know I threw up at least once in the clean-up process.

18

When I was about 16 our Angus bull broke his leg trying to mate with one of our cows. He was a gigantic thing - very nearly a ton if not over. Well, you can’t really put a cast on a bull’s leg, tell him not to get the cast wet, and to come back in 6 weeks and we’ll see how things are progressing. Nope, time to butcher him.

He’d broken his back leg about a mile away from the barn, where slaughtering usually takes place, so he’s laying in the field, in obvious pain, and it happens to be summer (not the time you usually butcher animals - too much chance of the meat spoiling during the process). Oh boy - this is going to take some work. We get in touch with the guy who does the butchering and he says “We’ll need a front end loader.”

We assembly in the pasture. Usually, to start the process, you shot the animal in the head to drop it, then cut the throat to kill it and start the bleeding. Not this time - the guy just takes out his knife, walks over to the bull and slits the throat from roughly ear to ear. To say that there was a generous amount of blood would be very much an understatement. We’re talking gallons and gallons of the stuff. The bull is also kicking, twitching, shitting, and pissing all at the same time. End of the preliminaries. Now comes the front end loader. We have to scoop up the carcass and get it to the barn, where we can suspend it and gut it. Trying t get a ton of animal, covered in blood, shit, and piss into a front end loader isn’t how I had planned to spend my Saturday, but there you have it.

Cut to the barn. The bull has been suspended from his hind feet (we were worried that his broken leg was going to pull off), and the butcher slits him from chest to groin. He then reaches in and has to pull out the guts. This is a lot harder than it seems - the innards are all attached to the carcass - he has to actually hang onto the guts and ride them out of the animal. My dad took the liver (ugh) and, later, the tongue. Mr Curtis (the butcher) kept the balls (HUGE nuts on that bull - he said they were good scrambled with eggs) and the penis (take out the bone, put a wire through one end and suspend a weight from the cock, hang the whole thing in a the barn and after it dries you get a fine walking stick). By now, I’m thinking Mr. Curtis has been doing this job way too long.

Next comes the skinning. Slit, slit, slit, there you have it. Off comes the head. An axe to the forehead and you’ve got the brains out (more for Mr. Curtis). A few more flicks of the saw and knife and he’s got the carcass on the way to be quarterd and processed.

We’re left with a huge pile of guts, the skin, and the head to dispose of. In August. In Virginia. You have to do it quickly or else the smell will gag you, not to mention that cows, if they smell blood, go absolutely ape shit and then you’ve got them freaking out around you.

The front end loader dug a quick grave and what wasn’t edible went into the bottom of the hole. Cover him back up and hope the dogs, foxes, and wild things don’t get to him.

I still like my steak rare.

19

I really don’t have a story to add but the thread title really, really, really should have stated T M I !!
:eek:

20

Hmmm, the most disgusting thing that’s ever happened to me. Well, most of the stories in here don’t sound so bad to me, really. I mean, hell, I sift through vomit and pick maggots on a pretty regular basis. The worst thing I can come up with off the top of my head is the night I was helping prep a Golden Retriever who’d eaten a mop for an emergency exploratory surgery. I grabbed his back legs to roll him over, and I smelled it. Bloody diarrhea. There’s no other smell even remotely like it. “Oh great,” I think. “He’s gonna have that mess all over his ass and tail, and it’s gonna be a real bitch to get out of all that long hair.” So I turn around to grab a roll of paper towels, and then I feel it. Something warm and wet against my leg. I look down and realize that the dog has just hosed the entire front of my scrubs with liquid bloody shit. It’s on the bottom of my shirt, it’s all down my pants, it’s all over my shoes. It’s. on. my. socks. That was pretty gross. I had to throw the shoes away and redye those scrubs a darker color because I couldn’t get the stains out.