Fun with ID badges. Or, how I learned to breach bathroom etiquette.

Thursday started off like any other day. I woke up full of hope and excitement when thinking of the paths that lay before me for the day. I drove to work, humming a happy tune blindly unaware of the events I would later find myself embroiled in.

It seems all of my troubles started with sports drink. I decided to crack open a 32 ounce Gatorade. Mmm, refreshing. It took a little under an hour for me to work through the bottle. Around 11 AM, it was time for meeting #1 for Mully to go to.

It was a good meeting. Unfortunately, I had to go to a different floor to attend. To enter a floor in my building you have to swipe your ID badge in front of an infrared eye to gain access. My badge essentially gives me universal access, so I enter the floor and attend the meeting. Around noon, the meeting lets out. At this point, I have to go to yet another floor for yet another meeting. I also realize that the Gatorade has worked it’s magic and I know have to visit the bathroom and enjoy the wonders of indoor plumbing.

I enter the bathroom. Both urinals are in use, so I pop into a stall, bring out Mr. Happy, and attend to business. As I finish, my pen falls on the floor in a spot that is surely free of urine splashing. Before bending down to grab it, I realize my badge is currently on a rope around my neck. Being extremely intelligent, I take it off of my neck and hang it on the coat handle on the stall door. Pen grabbed, I flush and leave for my next meeting.

Upon reaching the new floor, I now realize that while I am here, my badge is still hanging in the bathroom stall much like George Michael. I can’t get to the meeting room and somehow, in this building holding thousands of people, none of them walk by to let me in. Since I desparately need to get to the meeting on time I trudge back down to get my badge.

Things begin turning my way. Someone let’s me in the door so I can now go to the restroom of impending doom and get my badge. I enter and discover to my horror that the stall door is closed and the stall is in use.

I need my badge, but it appears to be trapped. I decide that the need to make the meeting overrules my desire to ignore the situation so I try to quickly reach over the door and grab the ID from where I know it is hanging. I also plan to do this as quickly as possible so I can get away before the stall user can react. Success! I grab the ID and start walking away when I hear…

“Please bring my ID back. I moved your ID to the sink counter.”



Phew. It’s a good thing the stall door was closed so he couldn’t get a good look at your face, and doesn’t know who you were.


That is hilarious.

Depends what information is on the ID badge, doesn’t it. Mine has my name, picture, building, and department on it.

Fortunately, unless Mullinator looked at the badge he briefly swiped, he doesn’t know whose eyes he can never look into again …

A toilet flush isn’t the only whoosh in this thread. :wink:

Did you wash your hands?


Hey, at least it’s not like the bathrooms at my Father’s work: you need to swipe your ID card to get into them. So, one weekend when Mom and I were helping him move his cubicle, us females decided that we needed to answer the Call of Nature ™.

However, the ID cards are gender-linked. :eek:

But at least the door handles were heated…

<< How dry I am… how wet I’ll be… >>

haaaaaaaaaa! That is sooooo funny…;o)

Argh! A touch, I do confess it, Ino. (Rattle.)

Nightsong: Secure bathrooms?! That’s … that’s … I don’t know what the heck that is. But you’d think a building with that level of security would give temporary badges (including restroom access) to non-employees when they checked them in, right after the body cavity search. :rolleyes:

I work in a building in the Loop that has secured restrooms. It’s pretty common in downtown buildings where more than one tenant shares a floor with common restrooms, especially if the general public has access to the floor. It cuts down on the number of restroom muggings.

Given the number of criminal defense attorneys in this building, I 've come to appreciate it.

The Red Badge Of Embarassment by Mullinator.

Yeah, there’s nothing like leaving the secure bathroom keys (attached to the secure office keys) IN said secure bathroom making it impossible for you to do anything but loiter pathetically outside the bathroom door waiting for someone to reunite you with the precious keys.

SCSimmons: What’s odd, is that the security at those buildings is rather… spotty. It’s an office park with serveral buildings, and usually several different businesses in each building. All the main building doors are unsecured during normal office hours. Vistors don’t get ID cards. Some floors on some buildings are secured (need proper ID card to get the elevator to get to that floor), some are not. I have no clue why the bathrooms are secured. Must be to protect those valuable heated-door handles.

panache: Oh dear! Time to attach those keys to your beltloop then, so the only way to leave the keys behind is to leave your pants behind… :smiley: