Thursday started off like any other day. I woke up full of hope and excitement when thinking of the paths that lay before me for the day. I drove to work, humming a happy tune blindly unaware of the events I would later find myself embroiled in.
It seems all of my troubles started with sports drink. I decided to crack open a 32 ounce Gatorade. Mmm, refreshing. It took a little under an hour for me to work through the bottle. Around 11 AM, it was time for meeting #1 for Mully to go to.
It was a good meeting. Unfortunately, I had to go to a different floor to attend. To enter a floor in my building you have to swipe your ID badge in front of an infrared eye to gain access. My badge essentially gives me universal access, so I enter the floor and attend the meeting. Around noon, the meeting lets out. At this point, I have to go to yet another floor for yet another meeting. I also realize that the Gatorade has worked it’s magic and I know have to visit the bathroom and enjoy the wonders of indoor plumbing.
I enter the bathroom. Both urinals are in use, so I pop into a stall, bring out Mr. Happy, and attend to business. As I finish, my pen falls on the floor in a spot that is surely free of urine splashing. Before bending down to grab it, I realize my badge is currently on a rope around my neck. Being extremely intelligent, I take it off of my neck and hang it on the coat handle on the stall door. Pen grabbed, I flush and leave for my next meeting.
Upon reaching the new floor, I now realize that while I am here, my badge is still hanging in the bathroom stall much like George Michael. I can’t get to the meeting room and somehow, in this building holding thousands of people, none of them walk by to let me in. Since I desparately need to get to the meeting on time I trudge back down to get my badge.
Things begin turning my way. Someone let’s me in the door so I can now go to the restroom of impending doom and get my badge. I enter and discover to my horror that the stall door is closed and the stall is in use.
I need my badge, but it appears to be trapped. I decide that the need to make the meeting overrules my desire to ignore the situation so I try to quickly reach over the door and grab the ID from where I know it is hanging. I also plan to do this as quickly as possible so I can get away before the stall user can react. Success! I grab the ID and start walking away when I hear…
“Please bring my ID back. I moved your ID to the sink counter.”