Please assign these misquotations to your least favorite politician. Please remember to put these misquotations in quotation marks, or you will only be paraphrasing inaccurately, rather than misquoting.
“I invented the Internet”
“I created the Internet”
“I invented ARPAnet”
“I created ARPAnet”
“I regularly sacrifice homeless children to Satan”
“I kick puppies”
“I hate humanity and will try to exterminate the human race in a global nuclear apocalypse”
“My wife and I were the models for Adam and Eve in The Holy Bible”
Please repeat these misquotations as often as possible to help destroy any faith anyone might have left in our political system. Thanks for your help and have a super day!
Wow. Y’know, if I can just make one person a little more cynical, I consider my good deed for the day done.
For those unaware of why Boris B is so hot under the collar, check out:
Is The Vice Presidency Morally Destructive?
http://boards.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum7/HTML/001654.html
in which I misquoted Al Gore regarding the Internet, and sent Boris B. into apocalyptic spasms of apoplexy. Gore is, after all, the much-maligned savior of the human race, and I am, as always, an evil, bigoted, word-twisting Republican who will stop at nothing to discredit Gore. Including using his own words against him.
I made a mistake, and I apologize. I tried to apologize in that thread yesterday, but the board went down and ate my response. I’ll try to repost it this afternoon, but as it involves finding links to other news articles, and as my boss is actually at work today, I can’t guarantee that. So I’ll pull a Phaedrus and say I have all of the evidence to prove my claims and will be posting it any time now.
So, to sum: I screwed up, and Boris B. really needs to calm the hell down.
JMCJ
Give to Radiskull!
Aren’t the politicians doing a good enough job of this themselves?
“Ask not what The State can do for you. Ask what you can do for The State.” — John Paul Kennedy
“We have nothing to fear but speeches like these.” — Emperor Roosevelt
“Read my lips: no new ideas.” — George Bee
“The first thing I’ll do is meet with King Olaaf of Mexico.” — George Dubyah
“I will not seek, nor will I accept, an end to this war.” — Limpid Baines Johnson
“Now, looky here. I know what it’s liiike fer you people, your people, all o’ y’all colored people.” — Raw Perot
“All that matters are the children.” — Janet Waco
“Trust me.” — Bile Clinton