DON’T read The Tales of H.P. Lovecraft. I had some very vivid anesthesia/book inspired dreams and I woke up in the recovery room mumbling about Cthulu and Dagon. (by the way, what is up with Lovecraft and the word decadent?)
Things NOT to do after surgery:
Do NOT wake up and call Rent-A-Center to tell them why you haven’t paid your bill yet. When you call back later to pay, they will make fun of you.
Do NOT leave your sister a rambling message about how you survived the surgery and she cant have your life insurance money. She will play the message for her coworkers and they will ALL laugh at you.
Read your discharge instructions before having a cigarette. Your lungs and bank will feel swollen and your poor abused throat will ache. Just because you weren’t awake when the tube went in and came out doesn’t mean there wasn’t one.
Don’t turn down hydrocodone in favor of Tylenol #3. It doesn’t work for shit and you will suffer immensely. Your arm will feel like it’s about to fall apart. Breathing will hurt. You will not be able to get comfortable at all. You will not be able to pull up your pajama pants without pain.
Lastly, when your surgeon tells you the pain will get worse before it gets better, BELIEVE HIM!
Wow, thanks, that post actually made me feel better about MY surgery. (I had an infected abcess drained nearly two weeks ago, and I’m back to work half days now.)
I managed to avoid all of those pitfalls, really:
Only thing I read before the surgery was the first Harry Potter book, which I enjoyed immensely and didn’t give me any dreams. In fact, I have no awareness at all of the amnesia, though waking up in recovery was very disorienting and confusing.
I only called my family and work once I got into the ward and had a phone - actually, I think my mom was there, because she helped me get my credit card out to pay for the phone, so I probably didn’t call family until later. Nobody made fun of my phone calls that I know of.
Don’t smoke, never have.
Tylenol 3 has been working okay for the pain I have. I’m nearly out of it now, but haven’t had much need for it so hopefully the switch down to regular Tylenol Extra Strength will be alright.
Another knock on the head will bring it back to you.
Seriously, congodwarf, I would have paid money to see the expressions on the surgeons’ faces when you started talking about Cthulhu. Speedy recovery to you.
Mama Zappa - I laughed at most. The smoking thing though, not so much.
My arm doesn’t hurt as much as it did yesterday but it is still useless and does still hurt quite a bit. I can move my fingers a bit more freely though. Since I made it through yesterday, I don’t think Ill ask for anything stronger. I think VunderBob is screwing with me about the third day.
I would like to know why my whole body hurts though.
I want to take a shower but i haven’t figured out how yet.
Can’t speak to the third day thing but if they shot up the joint with some local anesthesia while you were under, it’s conceivable that it’ll hurt more the second day when that wears off. My one major surgery (C-section) day 2 was the worst, because the drug they dumped in the epidural (long-acting morphine) had worn off. Maybe it sometimes takes the body a while to realize “WTF? I’VE BEEN CUT!”.
I seem to recall once hearing that whole-body aches are a result of lying on that rock-hard table during the surgery. No cite though.
Good luck figuring out the shower. Even a tub bath would be tough - you only have one arm to lever yourself up out of the tub afterward.
As far as I know, there was no local used. I do know that a scalpel was taken to my arm and I’m assuming some bits of tendon were removed. I cant imagine that is supposed to feel good.
I never thought anything could hurt more than back surgery.
When I had my hysterectomy, the second night was the worst of it. I swear, if I had been able to commit suicide then and there, I would have. That was just after they took me off of the morphine drip, and put me on pain pills. Unfortunately, I lack the enzyme to properly metabolize Vicodin, and that’s what they were giving me, so I effectively had no pain relief at all.
I wish they had given me Percocet. I know that works from my last surgery experience> I did call my doc to schedule my follow up. He said they anesthesia could have caused the whole body aches.
When I had my hand surgery, I just had a nerve block and the conscious sedation.
My hand didn’t start to throb and ache until 2 days after the surgery, but I made sure I had plenty of percosets nearby to help with the pain. I didn’t think I would really need them, but I did end up taking them because I couldn’t get comfortable to actually rest.
As far as showering, dressing, etc. I made sure my husband was around to help out as much as possible and I wore a lot of clothing with waist bands until I had two hands again. I never realized how much having 2 hands that function really mattered until I didn’t have one.
I believe that, plus they chill down the room. After my complete hysterectomy my back hurt at least as much as my incision site. I have osteo-arthritis in my back as well, so that didn’t help any.
For certain, before surgery, you must NOT read Robin Cook, particularly his novel Coma. You’ll be certain that somebody is going to sabotage your operation and your organs will wind up on the black market.
After it’s over, avoid comedies, joke books, and siblings playing video games. The last I recommend if your sibling has a tendency to get frustrated and then get ripely sarcastic when playing. My brother almost made me pop out my staples over Zelda for the SNES.
A few days after my son’s delivery - where I had pretty bad tearing and thus a number of stitches “down there”… my mother-in-law made me guffaw. I did pop at least one stitch. :::whimper:::
So far, I’ve been finishing my Lovecraft book and watching horror movies. I did laugh when my sister played my message for me but while it hurt quite a bit, any stitches seem to still be intact.
I really want to take the dressing off. I want to SEE it. I don’t like having cool wounds that I cant see.
Oh, and my arm itches - the side opposite from the surgical area but still under the bandage. It’s driving me batty.
One thing that’s a bad idea before surgery is to get completely, totally filthy. I worked like a dog on a carpentry project and fell asleep sweaty and covered in sawdust and glue, then spent 10 days in the hospital for an emergency lithotomy (for a 13 mm stone, no less). This was unsavory beyond words.
Luckily mine was scheduled. I took a thorough shower before, washing with hibicleans which my doctor supplied. But, it’s hot and we have no AC so I’m feeling sweaty and itchy.
