I don’t quite know what to put in the subject line, but those three words probably describe my question – or gross assumption, whatever it might be – the best.
Reflecting on women that I’ve dated, I found that the ones who were the most … uhh, boring when it came to physical interaction were also the most religious. No, I haven’t slept with any fundamentalist or extremely religious women, but kissing them was like kissing a handful of raw ground beef. No interaction, no nothing, even if they initiated it. Friends share similar stories about dating fundies, born-agains, and very religious Christians.
I have this preconceived notion that sex between two born-again Christians is rather bland and boring; missionary only, her just laying there, nothing more than going through the motions.
So, are born-again Christians more … uhhh, boring than the population as a whole?
There are Christians who think that sex is a gift from God, to be enjoyed like any other good thing …
I think the idea that Christians are necessarily boring in bed needs to be consigned to the great heap of unsafe generalizations. But, then, I’m not a Fundamentalist …
Ex-wife: devout Catholic, sexually repressed, nothing innovative, lights out, slept in jammies, no undressing in view, sex basically viewed as means to procreate. Boring, passionless, and back we come to: ex-wife.
My best friend is a pretty hard-core fundamentalist. Her husband is the only guy she’s ever had sex with. I don’t think they had actual intercourse til their wedding night, although they had a couple of bouts of oral sex/petting to orgasm during the engagement. Like many girlfriends, when it’s just she and I, we talk about the nasty. From everything she says, I don’t believe she’s boring in bed at all. She’s told me about the nude photos her hubby has taken of her; about the collection of dildoes she has; about how horny she gets just around the time of ovulation. I’d have to say she’s one who looks at sex between a husband and wife as a God-given gift to be enjoyed, and don’t think she’s unresponsive at all. All of this, of course, is just what she’s told me, but I can’t imagine why she’d be talking about it if she thinks that doing it is wrong!
I think fundamentalists use their religion as a substitute for sex, therefore they don’t need to have any actual sex. If you watch them on TV singing, exhorting, speaking in tongues, etc., it has always looked sexual to me.
Mr. tlw and I are both Christians. I wouldn’t call us fundamentalists persay, but we are very devout and active in our faith and church.
Our sex life is anything but boring. We didn’t have any sexual contact until our wedding night (not even petting) but after that, any and everything was fair game. We’ve never felt that it was inappropriate for us to try something, we’ve never been shy about talking about things, and we’ve had complaints from our neighbors on three different occasions (three different apartments/neighbors) about noise. :eek:
So I’d say that we’re not boring. I don’t think we’re boring. Isn’t boring in the eye (or bed) of the beholder?
And in other news, I also know the difference between per se and persay, one being correct and the other being a word I made up out of whole cloth. Geez.
My Uncle (a fundie) was married to a fundie for 25 years. He never once saw her naked.
A funny story was when she took an anatomy class when she was in her early/mid 30’s. She came home one night and proclaimed “I have a clitoris.” My uncle looked at her and said “is that good or bad?” Neither one of them had any idea what it was.
A woman was getting married, and her old mother frequently explained to her that she should never ever let her husband see her completely naked.
Well, the wedding happened, and after a week of marriage the woman’s new husband asked her, “Tell me, is there a history of mental illness in your family?”
“No, why?” The bride asked.
“Well, I’m just trying to figure out why you wear that hat to bed every night.”
I used to work across the street from the Moody Bible Institute in Chicago, and several of my co-workers were missionary students or biblical scholars - the place is pretty much Fundie Central. Anyhow, one of my co-workers was getting married, and both he and his finacee were reading a book by a Dr. Wheat called Intended for Pleasure. It’s basically a sex manual for Fundies.
As somebody else at the office commented upon seeing it - “Wow, that’s thicker than I thought it would be.”
I was rather surprised at how factual the thing was. Well, yes, there was that bit where they said a woman who didn’t feel like sex when her husband did should pray to Jesus to increase her libido, but hey, it’s consistent with the religion. And at least they included a bit addressed to the men pointing out that a woman who was ill wasn’t going to be much interested in sex, and if she was tired, stressed or overworked his love life was going to suffer so if he wanted things to improve he should make sure she got adequate rest, or got any help she needed
Anyhow, while there are clearly some highly repressed religious types out there, there’s also a sizeable contingent of Fundies who are educated about sex and actively enjoy it within in their marriage. Truth is, sometimes they slip up and one (or both) partners start enjoying it outside their marriage, which just proves they’re human, too.
In the case of the couple I started this post with, it was their minister who gave them the “sex manual” - he insisted marrying couples be educated and took the stance that within marriage sexuality was to be enjoyed as a blessing from God. (We won’t discuss his insistance that abstinence be the only sex education for children, and that people shouldn’t be educated about sex until just prior to marriage since they wouldn’t need to know anything about it until then, but hey, he wasn’t a total prude :rolleyes: )
Couldn’t contain my curiosity, so I checked, and yep, it’s available on Amazon. Although I didn’t order it, I’ll be interested to see what just viewing it does to my “Recommendations” in the future :dubious:
I was really hoping that there would be something funny and quoteworthy in the ‘People who bought this also bought…’ bit, but alas no, just more books about How To Do Sex Properly*.
I’m not a fundie but I don’t think my sex life is boring. In fact, it gets better and better. I will say that I have had more partners than my husband because I had a rather negative attitude about sex from a prior experience. He has slept with only 2 people…his ex-wife and me.
His ex did not like sex. They rarely had it. In fact I would bet that he and I had more sex in the first year of our relationship than they did in the entire 7 years of their marriage.
I believe sex is a gift from God but, like any gift, it can be misused.
Well, there was a recent thread about The Pill decreasing the female libida, so at least they don’t have that strike against them.
On paper, I guess I could beleive that a fundy would be boring in bed, but I don’t beleive it would apply IRL. People vary too much. Ability to orgasm is for the most part nature, not nurture. I suspect that there are plenty of fundy females that go to town. If they are lucky, they hook up with a fundy male with as much enthusiasm.
A person who’s devout and unterested in sex may just be a spiritualist, as opposed to a materialist. I guess the only way to tell would be to note whether they take an interest in the other pleasures of material life, or consider them to be of little interest compare to (or even a distraction from) the Great Spiritual Truth.
Full disclosure: I’m a materialist and a bachelor, so I could be talking through my hat.