My son passed away at age 32 in April. He had no life insurance and the money we received which I think came to maybe about 1,500.00 was very much appreciated and certainly not tacky at all. The funeral cost was around 8,000.00 and we kept it very conservative. No one around here cremates, although I personally wish it was more available/socially acceptable.
Most folks I know who have the money or life insurance spend anywhere from 10 to 15,000.00 on the funeral, but they usually buy vaults, which we would not have done if we had have had the money. But that too seems to be sort of a social expectation thing , I guess people feel they are honoring their deceased loved one .
I am surprised at how many people thing it’s tacky. I truly have never thought of that. At least I don’t think it’s considered tacky in these parts as long as it’s known the family may not have the money for burial or the loved ones left behind may be left in hardship.
It is also common to send flowers, bring food, donate to charities … or just show up or send a card if that is what you want to do or all you can do.
I asked the funeral director what happened if a family didn’t have the money to pay for the funeral, and she said usually someone in the family will find a way to come up with it. It’s a pay up front deal, no financing. If we had not had the money and the ability to borrow a couple thousand we were short, I have no idea what they would have done with his body, but I do know I had to be ready to write out a check the morning following his death the previous afternoon.
Then of course there is the flower arrangement for the casket. Now we are going to save for a headstone after my husband returns to work following surgery.
Sorry for the long post. This touched a sore spot. I am so grateful people were so kind as to help us financially during such a difficult time.