Still one of the funniest scenes ever, ever! Still sing the chicken pot song to hubby when I want him to do something I’m quite capable of but don’t wanna do.
Zapp Brannigan: If we hit that bullseye, the rest of the dominoes should fall like a house of cards. Checkmate.
Big Bang Theory
Amy: One of the test monkeys slipped on a banana peel and broke his neck. It was both tragic and hysterical.
The Drew Carey Show:
Drew, Lewis, Oswald, and Kate sneak into Lewis’s employer, DrugCo, to look for Drew’s dog, which has been given a drug to treat cataracts. The dog has been missing for a week. Drew and Lewis enter a room with an animal that looks like a cross between a gorilla and hippopotamus. Lewis reads a sign next to the door. “It says here, it’s called a monkapotamus.” Drew responds, “Why would anybody want to combine the digestive system of a hippopotamus with the throwing strength of an ape?”
On my list of funniest ever moments in TV history: last scene of Newhart when Bob wakes up and describes his dream of Vermont. Then Suzanne Pleshette sits up next to him!
Alriiiiiiiight! 
Rowan and Martin’s Laugh-In
“News of future 20 years from now… President Ronald Reagan…”
Pause of at least a minute while the audience laughs uproariously.
What made it so funny to me was that I was watching it on Nick at Night in college. It really was 20 years in the future and Ronald Reagan was president!:smack:
**BIZARRE
SUPER DAVE OSBORNE’S MOST DANGEROUS STUNT: INSULTING MR T**
SUPER DAVE: (Reading from index cards) “In Rocky III, they called you ‘Clubber Lang.’ Now that I see you in person, it should have been ‘Blubber Lang.’”
[NO REACTION]
“Where do you get your hair cut? In a pet shop?”
[AGAIN, NO REACTION]
“You know something? I’d have trouble picking you out in a room full of faggots!”
[STILL NO REACTION]
“What’s black and grey and rolls around in the parking lot at McDonald’s? Mr T and a pigeon fighting over an old French fry.”
I shall leave you to watch the entire sketch and its climax here:
[Tedious pedant hat ON]A chinook is a warm wind that blows out of the west.[/TPH]
We loved The Tick so much - we still quote from the show regularly.
My contribution from “Friends” -
Chandler: Hey, you guys in the living room all know what you want to do. You know, you have goals. You have dreams. I don’t have a dream.
Ross: Ah, the lesser known “I Don’t Have a Dream” speech.
Firefly: Darn.
Another ‘Friends’
Joey: All right, Rach. The big question is, “does he like you?” All right? Because if he doesn’t like you, this is all a moo point.
Rachel: Huh. A moo point?
Joey: Yeah, it’s like a cow’s opinion. It just doesn’t matter. It’s moo.
If you want to disappear down the “Friends” funny quotes for a couple of hours.
I don’t remember a lot of funny lines from “Family Ties,” but this one still makes me grin when I think of it -
Elyse is practicing a song for the PBS pledge drive. She’s hugely pregnant. She is having trouble reaching one of the high notes in the song, as she practices and some stage hands work around her. As she’s singing and playing guitar, she goes into labour as she reaches the high note in the song, and gives a bloodcurdling shriek. The stage hand observes, “You really nailed it that time!”
Oh, yes. The instant I knew the show was a keeper.
MAS*H
(General Barker [Sorrell Booke] is looking for Hawkeye. He finds Radar at Henry’s desk, smoking a cigar and drinking brandy.)
General: Corporal! What are you doing?
Radar: Doing, Sir?
General: D-O-I-N-G! What are you doing?
Radar: I’m listening to you spell “doing,” Sir.
MASH: I don’t remember the entire scene, but Hawkeye and Frank have been going at each other. Frank responds to a Hawkeye jab with: “You … You …” Hawkeye responds: “Who you calling a youyou?”
Back when I was watching it I used to get a laugh from Lexx. Trouble is writing down ‘The dead do not poo’ it doesn’t look quite so funny. I guess you had to be there.
Equally the Brunnen-G fight song played as a piano based pub shanty was hilarious back then.
It was a different time.
TCMF-2L
Daffy Duck said the same thing to Elmer Fudd once.
In another episode of MASH, * Frank approaches a local peddler and says angrily, “Hey, you! That watch you sold me runs backwards!”
The peddler says, “Try other wrist!”
So Frank does! 
Friends, Rachel iirc.
“Yesterday I was at rock bottom. Today, there’s rock bottom then 50ft. of crap and then me.”
Lithgow on Third Rock From The Sun. (Paraphrased from memory.)
“Time to apply the electrodes of learning to the nipples of ignorance”.
MAS*H:
Hawkeye tosses his dirty underwear over the barrier that Charles has erected between himself and the two other surgeons. The underwear is tossed right back.
B.J.: You’ve got to stop buying that boomerang brand.
In CANADA?!? :dubious: Nothing is warm in Canada!