Funniest opinion you have heard about yourself?

Got told I had world cup ears

“You’re a psychopath”.

“You’re a demon put here on earth to torture me!”

A woman that had a romantic interest in me. I suppose she thought I was playing hard to get (but in reality I was just clueless as crap).

At some point she says something. I forget the wording but it was basically that she thought I was some player/womanizer/woman user/secret agent that had the ABILITY to use women with my James Bond ways AND did so.

She was so far off the mark on both points I actually did laugh out loud in side swiped surprise.

A woman I sort of knew from college classes I was taking, and was flirting with in a bar, told me I was “theatrical”. That was about the last word I would have used to describe myself. Maybe she saw something about me that I didn’t consider.

I actually had someone accuse me of being a liberal the other day. I laughed until my stomach muscles ached.

Long story short… I was “accussed” of being mentally unstable because I had papers “spread everywhere” that were nothing but mathematical equations.

Ummmm, I hate to break it to all you underwater basket weaving types…but class notes from hard science classes and nitty gritty engineering calculations are pretty much nothing but that.

Another literal LOL moment from me.

PS. Yeah, I might be mentally unstable but trust me, it ain’t all those equations that are the proof of it…though one supposes they might be the cause.

What’s with the air quotes around “accused?” Did somebody not really accuse you of being mentally unstable?

“Bill Fish has papers covered with mathematical equations spread everywhere, but don’t take that as an accusation of anything…”

Whats with the “air quotes”?

Like I said, “long story, short” a bunch of papers with shit like integrals and partial differential equations were somehow some sort of “evidence” of mental issues.

Yeah, I guess if I was the Time Cube guy or ranting that Albert was full of shit and Hawking was a wanker and MY equations were the proof that ALIENS were AMONG us then yeah maybe “they” might be onto something.

The fact I was kinda a slob, needed to spread shit out to see it all, and was working on a few math intensive but real world engineering problems…uh not so much.

I was a deeply religious and sheltered 18 year old, who did nothing but work, play softball and stay safely on second base in romantic relationships. Yet a woman roughly ten years older than me said I was “on the prowl” because I wore a sports bra to, well, play sports. I don’t know if I’ve ever rolled my eyes so hard at something I’d never even considered. These days though, as an invisible middle aged women, I tell myself I must really be working my game whenever I go to wash my car. Or buy groceries. Or take the dogs to the vet…

I was in the military.

More than once people came up to me and said something to the effect “Men are afraid of you.”

Well…I’m okay with that.

“You have the unique and innate talent of being able to effortlessly piss people off, even when you’re not trying to.”

I have that ability, only creeping people out instead of pissing them off.

Eh? :dubious:

A couple times in my life, people have described me as “laid back”. I am, in fact, a high strung, irritable mess of anxiety and paranoia. It’s just that I was in some situation where I didn’t care about the outcome, and someone thought I was the laid back type. People think I’m laid back at work, because I kind of don’t care what happens as long as my check shows up every two weeks. In my personal life, I’m a goddamn wreck.

I was once told I would make a good yoga teacher.

Er, what?

I was accused of being a racist by a Native woman I interviewed for a position in my office because I didn’t hire her. The makeup of my office at the time was four women, one of whom was Filipina, one was Black, one was of Spanish descent, and one was white; and eight men, one was Hispanic/Apache, two were black, one was Alaska Native and the rest were white. Racist? Really?

I was told I look like Bruce Lee. I do not.

A touchy-feely New Agey girlfriend once said I was a perfect example of how humanity came dominate the planet - all the savagery of an animal combined with almost supernatural intelligence. Why? She was telling me an old story about something she did with her second boyfriend, and I noticed that - based on the season - she hadn’t broken up with her first boyfriend yet, based on things she’d said previously. Which, yeah, is a totally savage thing to do, actually listening to your gf. :wink:

I was accused once of “always thinking”. My GF walked in the room and saw me just sitting there.

She: Whatcha doin?
Me: Just thinking.
She: You’re always thinking. Don’t you ever stop thinking?
Me: Umm, no.

I think that was the first time that I every actually realized that there are some people who only think when some situation arises that requires thinking, and when they’re finished, they stop thinking.