Funniest terrorism fear mongering

I just came across this article about BART officials in San Francisco using possible terrorism as a reason not to allow sippy-cups on trains.

I’m just curious, over the last ten years, what have been the most sadly funny fear-inducing rules made in the name of terrorism?

The whole idea that we need a colour code to tell us how frightened to be, is so absurd, it can only be funny.

Charlie Brooker said it better than I can though:

Banning cigarette lighters on planes, but allowing matches, after the shoe bomber incident.

The shoe bomber used matches.

BART is unique. I recall years ago I was on the subway and the signs say “no eating.” OK fair enough, they say that in Chicago and other places too. So I took out a candy bar and start eating it. After all a candy bar isn’t food right? :slight_smile:

Then a voice comes on over the loudspeaker. Sir, eating is not allowed on BART rail. Please put the food away immediately or you’ll be subject to ticketing or arrest at the next stop.

Kind of eerie to know they watch you on the train.

And they were right, eating is eating, still it’s a little much

I thought the idiocy about wrapping your house in plastic and sealing it with duct tape was pretty over the top…

Plastic and duct tape - first line of defense against, um, I dunno - anthrax??

Seconded. In a recent business trip to the US, a coworker who smokes but does not speak English (and consequently hates having to buy/ask for matches) brought this HUGE box with him everywhere we went. And at JFK I watched in amazement as the lady in front of us had her dinky leetle cheapo lighter confiscated, and my colleague skated right through security–with the large economy-sized box of matches placed smartly in plain view on top of his bag–without so much as a blink.

That was pretty dumb. I also remember seeing people on the subway wearing gas masks.

That is great.

So a lighter and matches are exactly the same?

No, they aren’t. The lighter contains oh-my-dear-Og-LIQUID!!!Eleven!!

No. But neither are a fish and a bicycle.

Still, I’d argue that matches are an even greater risk than a lighter. Matches don’t show up on a metal detector because they have no metal parts, so they’re easier to get through security. Matches initially burn at a much higher temperature than a lighter will. You can throw a match still lit whereas if you lift up on the lighter’s button it’ll stop working. As for fuel, it’s easy to get a 12 ounce bottle of “saline solution” through security.
Oh and matches were actually used in a terrorist attack, not a lighter.

Paper matches have a small staple. I’m not sure if it would show up, though.

And a good thing, too - if he’d had a lighter he would almost certainly have been able to light the fuse without attracting attention to himself.

The Ready.Gov parody pictures.

Something Awful had a hilarious thread full of these, too.

Did you know there are paper matches with ceramic staples that won’t show up in a x-ray?


It’s now legal for the TSA to sexually assault anyone who wants to fly on an airplane. It would be funny if it weren’t so fucking outrageous.

Clothy, I usually don’t agree with your position on many issues, but I stand shoulder to shoulder in solidarity with you against this crap.

Just today I saw this article.

Read the very last line.

I believe under-wire bras will become Al Qaeda’s next terror weapon of choice.