The Ex wife and stepdaughter were over today, and we got started on this topic and had some good laughs. I know i’ve read quite a few threads started over a parent bemoaning something their kid has done, so I figured i’d start one where we could share our funniest stories of things your kids have said/done.
Mine goes something like this.
It’s Saturday morning, and me and my then wife were lounging in bed downstairs just kinda watching TV, waking up and just being all around lazy bums (it was a weekend!). My Stepdaughter who was 7 at the time was hungry, and wanted to have some of the hotwings that we had gotten from Pizza Hut the night before.
Now she always had been very good at getting/making things to eat by herself. She loved and still loves to help me cook, bake, do canning etc, and she just has a natural talent you might say in the kitchen. So without thinking, we both said, “Sure, you can have em, just make sure ya clean up afterwards so the dog doesn’t get at the bones.” She thanked us and ran upstairs to get her goodies and finish watching her morning cartoons on the upstairs TV.
About 5 minutes later, she’s standing at the door to our room, and she has this look of utter terror on her face, and she’s hem-hawing, trying to tell us something is wrong.
Her: “Mom, Dad…uhh”
Me: “Hhat honey?”
Her: “I … uh … uh …”
Mom: “What’s up munch? Is something wrong?”
Her: “Well, I uh… I uhh, put the wings in the microwave…”
I look over at my wife, and she’s looking at me. We’re at a total loss at trying to figure out what’s wrong. I’m thinking she left the wings out and the dog got at them or that she did something she’s not supposed to do, because she has that “GUILTY” look and action going on. You know, the umms, and the foot shuffling and looking down at the ground.
Anyhow, back to the conversation, already in progress…
Me: “Yeah…what’s wrong Chrys…”
Her: “well, I put them in the microwave, and I uh, accidentally put in the time…”
Me and Mom at the same time: “Yeah…and?”
Her: “And I uh…accidentally hit start…”
Me and Mom at the same time again: “Yeah?”
At this point she starts hitching her breath, starting to cry and says, “F-f-f-f-FIRE!”
Me and Mom are now BOLTING out of the bed and upstairs half naked and moving fast enough to make the Flash look like slow moving molassas in the middle of February, and Chrys is running behind us crying the whole way.
I make it into the dining room, which is adjoined to the kitchen, and I see TONS of BLACK smoke just POURING out of the microwave, and I see flashes of orange…sure enough, there’s a fire in the microwave. I go into Superman mode, and whip open the door of the microwave and pull out the flaming mess and toss it into the sink and turn on the water and put out the improtu bonfire that had been started in the microwave.
Me and Mom stand there for a bit catching our breath, and look around, making sure there’s nothing else on fire. Chrys is still standing in the entrance to the kitchen crying. I walk back over to the sink and look at the soggy smelly mass sitting inside of it, and I see exactly what happened. She had just taken the whole wing package and put it in the microwave. Sealed ranch dressing cup with aluminum foil top and aluminum foil paper and all. Well, all us adults know what happens when you put metal in the microwave, but poor chrys just didn’t realize all this. The metal sparked and caught the cardboard box on fire, and after that, it just went up in smoke for lack of a better term.
Well, at this I just started laughing, and Mom comes over and sees it, and now she’s starting to laugh. At this Chrys stops crying and petulantly says, “It’s NOT funny!”, which sets us off even more. Then Mom looks at her, and says, “So, you 'accidentally, pressed the time, and you ‘accidentally’ hit start?” and we just dissolved into gales of laughter. She looks at both of us again, and says, “It’s NOT funny! I was SCARED!” and then she starts laughing from us laughing.
Needless to say, she’s pretty careful about making sure NO metal goes into the microwave again. This happened 6 years ago, and I still have that microwave. It still works perfectly fine, and wasn’t even really scorched that bad at all. All the soot washed off, and there were no burn marks. But everytime you hit that start button, you can STILL smell the smell of burnt cardboard come out of it, and it causes me to chuckle every time.
And of course, we STILL tease her about it. Yes, i’m evil.