Funny anti-Obama pamphlet

I previously posted in the Elections forum about being frustrated about all the pro-Republican flyers I’m getting here in Arkansas. But there’s one pamphlet I got that I think we can all enjoy, whether we are into politics or not, kinda like how we don’t post about Chick Tracts in GD. So, like panache’s thread, I’ve posted it here in MPSIMS.

The pamphlet is called “Unfit to Rule,” and it claims that Obama wants to make himself King. It tries to compare Obama to King George III. You just have to see it to believe it.

And I couldn’t help but want to share it with you guys. Here it is in PDF form. Enjoy.

Two notes:

  1. TL;DR

  2. I would have expected more pictures, with at least one that says:HAW, HAW, HAW!

I didn’t get past the first page. I guess my sense of humor isn’t quite up to 18 pages of paranoid screed.

“A little closer to home for me personally is the armed government invasion upon pig farmers in Michigan.”

I believe that this hits close to home for the writers. If I can contribute another piece of Obama conspiracy crackpottery, some enterprising twerp has created a video documenting Barack II’s birth! I give you “Obama Sr filmimg his sons birth in Kenya.”

Things we learn from this 54-second video:

  1. Kenya’s hospitals all look like something out of the Saw franchise. They’re dingy and there is no medical equipment of any kind except maybe some scissors. The country also has only one doctor with a nurse who is trained to do nothing except clean the mother’s forehead. However the hospitals are helpfully equipped with calendars tacked to the wall for easy closeups.
  2. Ann Dunham looks nothing every existing picture of herself, including the one that is tacked to her medical chart for some reason. (Did Kenya have a lot of women who gave birth under false identities?) It’s not clear why her picture was needed when her name is also written on the chart in an enormous hand.
  3. Ann Dunham’s vagina was obviously coated with Teflon because the part of the birth we see is incredibly fast and clean.
  4. The president was gargantuan when he was born. I guess smoking stunted his growth, because looking at him as a newborn he should be about 7’6" tall and weigh 350 pounds.
  5. Everything in Kenya has a Kenyan flag on it. Everything. They are obviously petrified of their office supplies and beds and doctors’ shirts being stolen by, I don’t know, Uganda.
  6. Obama was born in August 1961, but the flag Kenya stuck on everything was not adopted until the end of 1963. Oh, and the birth was filmed on Super 8, which didn’t exist until 1964. (I can’t take credit for these points, but they’re awesome.) Stephen Colbert thought he was joking about Obama being a time-traveler, but it is obvious he was onto something.

You want comedy? One of the accusations they make to prove Obama is a tyrant is that he’s holding terrorists in captivity without giving them trials.

I’m speculating that Dan Zimmerle’s position on that issue has “evolved” since 2008.

Somewhere deep beneath the White House, a smirking & crowned Obama has templed his fingers and is gloating “Just as planned…”.

Did anyone notice the copyright legalese on the first page?

If you’re trying to get the word out on the evil villain, shouldn’t you encourage people to pass on your message?

“All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by
any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including
photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage
retrieval system without the written permission of the publisher except
in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and
reviews.”

Hopefully this is OK with the authors because it’s a brief quotation and trust me, I’m being critical.

Yeah, well, I didn’t exactly sit through and read it all the way through. I became aware of it when my dad asked me about it. He often asks me for help coming up with arguments against this conspiracy-nut coworker.

Oddly enough, I think he was somewhat convinced by this until I told him that every president is accused of wanting to be king at one point or another, and that cheap printing and the Internet has just made it easier for him to find out about it.

BTW, turns out there was a whole box of these pamphlets left at a church for some reason. The church people gave them to my dad’s boss, for some reason.

Like many conspiracy theories, this one starts with a grain of truth. But only a grain.
http://www.npr.org/blogs/thesalt/2012/08/31/160394513/battle-over-michigans-new-swine-rules-goes-hog-wild

Basically, you have a law in Michigan outlawing Russian boar as an invasive species. Most Russian boar in Michigan are feral, and that’s really what the law targets, but you also have a couple of pig farmers, one raising hybrid Russian boar ‘cause them’s good eatin’, and another who was raising them for hunting. The farmer keeping them for food was notified that his herd was illegal and that he needed to dispose of them or face heavy fines or jail time. The other farmer destroyed his herd as requested, but the media picked up a distorted story that the DNR had stormed in and destroyed them in an armed raid.

Conspiracy theorists went nuts, and one farmer fighting against a possibly overbroad law and another that complied with it became, "The Michigan Department of Natural Resources, an arm of the federal DNR, has sent out armed agents to destroy small farmers’ pigs and to arrest any farm family standing in the way of their legislation. " No mention of the invasive species, broad insinuation that any given pig farmer might be next, and a full acceptance of the fiction of armed raids.

When I say that, I mean I skimmed it. You don’t read the rants. You just read the ridiculous ideas.