They call me “that great guy who is also hung like an elephant.”
Well… usually they shorten it to “dork” but I know what they mean.
Queen of the SJB: Queen of the Summary Judgment Briefs; at my last job. See also “Ruler of the Pleadings”
Wolfling/wolfsbane: in college/H.S. I always really liked “Wolfling”, but I felt it made a dorky handle for the SDMB, so I didn’t take it.
The Walking Dictionary: in H.S. Voted “most likely to read every book in the world, including Dianetics by L. Ron Hubbard”. Which I have read, BTW, and I think it’s nuts.
Shanny: shortening of my name, which, fortunately, never causght on.
Mousie: In grade school. I was shy, and have brown hair/eyes.
Little One/Little Sister: my brother name for me.
Geez, I sound like a geek. 
“Eppur, si muove!” - Galileo Galilei
MIne really aren’t all that spectacular. My dad called me Jenny-Poop, Chickie-Poo, and Jennifer Lynn Scotamore (I have no idea why).
It was all well and cute until dad called me that in front of my friends when I was 13.
The guys in mechanics and Aviation Tech would call me Mac, because we were on a mostly last name only basis, and my last name starts with Mac. It did sometimes get confusing, because Jeff’s last name also started with Mac.
For some reason, I was dubbed ‘Granny’ in grade 9. I have no idea why. They thought they were making fun of me, but it really didn’t bother me at all. I think so highly of my granny that it was very nearly a compliment.
Zu
In high school, I was known as Ugly Bitch. No, it wasn’t meant kindly.
Remember, I’m pulling for you; we’re all in this together.
—Red Green
In junior high I was christened “Pyro”. I was in home ec class and had was working on a flaming dessert. Put in WAY too much cooking alcohol, and POOF!
The name stuck through college when I became a biology/chemistry major and got to play with better classes of flammable materials. Now when someone asks, “Do you smoke?” I always answer, “Only when on fire”. People that know me think I’m joking, the ones who do know better.
I still keep it as my email address name, though. 
PR
If you’re not part of the solution you’re just scumming up the bottom of the beaker.
I was known as Aunt Jemima in junior high; not meant kindly either. (I’m not black but some asshole thought I looked like her anyway.)
Otherwise it’s mostly “Bird,” which is a play on my real name. Family and old friends all call me that, as does anyone else who finds out about it. My real name seems to be very difficult for people to remember and pronounce.
My brother calls me Cat Wrangler sometimes. He is also the one who nicknamed my kitty “Enid the Exploding Cat.” Enid can be a little touchy.
Catrandom
In junior high, I hung out at the YMCA pool & was known as “footballs”. One of the guys explained it to a clueless friend of mine as one football, cut in half, and …
Sue from El Paso
members.aol.com/majormd/index.html
I have a few nicknames too.
Lumber-jack…I got this name because I wear flannel shirts, work boots and a big belt buckle…one guy in particular kept calling me "the guy looks like a lumberjack, wich eventualy was shortened to lumberjack.
I have also been called jethro by my family, and occaionaly Damn Big White Boy by some of black kids…Im 6’1’’ and weigh 260lbs
“In wildness is the preservation of the world, so seek the wolf inside thyself”
My mother’s name is also Valerie, and to avoid confusion my parents started calling me Junior. I got a LOT of teasing for that in middle school when my friends found out. Also, I don’t like it when people I don’t know automatically shorten my name to “Val,” 'cause I think it sounds ugly. Most of my friends call me V or VBlaise at this point.
I had quite a few nicknames in high school, but I also had the distinction of having a theme song. For reasons I’m still not sure about, when I’d walk into school in the morning or up to my lunch table my friends would start singing “Just a Gigolo.” And I’m a CHICK! This went on for the better part of my junior year. Now that I think about it, I REALLY want to know what they were trying to say…
“You’re going to listen
to ME? To something I
said? Haven’t I made it
abundantly clear over the
tenure of our friendship
that I don’t know shit?”
- Brodie, “Mallrats”
ChrisCTP wrote:
I also won the school spelling bee in 6th grade. For the next two months, when kids referred to me in the third person, I was called “the dictionary”. When people spoke directly to me, this was shortened to “Hey, Dick.”
I hated junior high.
FangFace -after the stupid cartoon way back when. My incisors grew in first and were actually fangs (which were rounded out by the dentist). I lost my front baby teeth and for a good month my smiles looked like I had fangs jutting out my smile. Some people I knew way back then cannot remember me as anything but.
Tobasco- My dad called me this cause I could eat unbarebly spicy food as a 10 year old. also called me Tob
Then when the candy bar came out…well it was always Heath Bar. and then the cartoon…Heathcliff
Not Smooth- In high school, sophomore year, we were in the track locker room, and I went to toss something in the trash, and completely missed the mark. So Luke, who watched the whole fiasco, goes, “Wow, that was…not smooth.” So I became Not Smooth.
Smooth- But, later that year, I played a xylophone solo in front of the band (the solo from Sabredance, for anyone who knows/cares), and Luke was so impressed that he immediately christened me Smooth. It worked better anyway.
Unibomber- After years of redneck/cowboy cracks at my expense (I lived in New Jersey), two of my friends were so impressed with my new denim jacket that they decided I looked like some hermit out in the woods, and so this became another nick. Incidentally, I still own (and wear) the infamous “Unibomber Jacket.”
Joe Bob- My first name is Joseph (usually Joe) and my middle name is Robert. This one only contributed to the redneck comments.
My one and only nickname is Breezy, from my given name.
However, I have had many people inflict variations on me:
Boxes of Breeze - 6th grade before I realized that reacting to teasing just encouraged them. God I hated these guys
Easy Breezy (or any other word that rhymes) - isn’t high school humor so … umm … [sarcasm]intelligent?[/sarcasm]
And my least favorite…
Breezynaner - from my dweeb redneck of an uncle.