What’s the cruelest (deserved) nickname you know of? Why does the person deserve it?
I thought of this the other day at my gym. I’ve been going to the same gym for about 6 years, and most of that time there’s been this kinda weird guy who, like me, is one of the night crew. He isn’t in-your-face obnoxious, just rude - mainly, he seems to have no idea that his grunts make Monica Seles sound like a geisha. It’s unreal - you can hear them a floor away.
It sounds like he’s been taking the same dump since the Reagan administration.
Which brings us to his nickname.
I haven’t experienced this personally, but others in the gym have had the misfortune of using a locker right next to his. Which wouldn’t be a problem, except that of course he pulls down his underwear before showering, and that’s, um, a sight. The staff is so aware of the situation that they came up with his nickname:
My granddaddy used to call me a nickname that was mean, but definitely deserved, in a way.
I was a fat kid. Stayed fat until I was in my mid-teens. But until I lost the weight, his favorite moniker for me was, “Bay Window”. (Pronounced “Bay Winder”…we live in the South.)
Because of my gut.
It made my grandmother absolutely livid to hear him call me that. It only completely pissed me off (not to mention hurt my feelings beyond words) because yes, I was overweight, but I never had a big stomach. Huge thighs, big arms, chubby chipmunk cheeks, sure. But I didn’t have a stomach (well, not a Bay Winder in the least!) I can remember many a time I stomped out of a room in tears because of that name.
I hate name calling. It hurts so much. Even if it’s not deserved.
I was called many hateful, mean, ugly names growing up, but that one hurt the most.
And the sad part is, I know he didn’t really mean to hurt me. He really thought it was just a teasing, silly name.
ashamedly Flakey pastry , this kid in High school (hey i was a kid ) a very long time ago , because he had some horrible no i mean horrible dandruff , imagine a snowball
snack , it was like the coconut flakes falling off , because he only washed his hair once every two weeks ugh nasty just to think about it
also
another in high school (yeah arn’t kiddies evil) this kid who had sex with a milk bottle and was caught in the act was called the Milk Man ,
There was this guy in high school me and my friends called “The Boy Who Could Fly”. This is in relation to the movie of the same name. He wasn’t autistic, but he was crazy. There was just something very wrong with his basic personality. I can’t imagine him interacting with anybody in any meaningful way. My memories of him are seeing him mime war moves in the locker room, complete with grenade throwing and everything, and him talking about inane, crazy crap.
I think it was very funny and very cruel that we called him “The Boy Who Could Fly”.
There was a kid in my high school that people knew only as Wank. The reason why? He was caught, well, wanking, during class. Science, to be exact. No, not biology. Earth science. A lecture on the different 'spheres. Taught by an elderly man. Apparently he was so overcome with lust for the troposphere that he just had to placate Mr. Happy right there.
Also Pyro Pubes, a boy with blazingly red, incredibly curly hair.
My class mates were creative. They came up with “Anniegooglerex” for one of the girls. Annie and rex from anorexic, and google for google-eyes. She was stick thin and would just sit and stare at people all the time for no apparent reason. I don’t know who made up the nickname, but it stuck. While cruel and horrible, it did suit her. As an adult, she’s been diagnosed schitzophrenic. That’s why she used to stare - she was paranoid that people were staring at her, so she’d stare at them to catch them out.
Another classmate was nicknamed Monkey. Sadly, the poor girl really did resemble a monkey.
Finally, my uncle (still) calls me Droppy Drawers. He claims my diapers used to hang down. I don’t know if it’s appropriate, but I do know he used to love to call me that in front of my friends.
I always felt bad for the kid nicknamed “Schlitzie” in high school, although he really did resemble the real Schlitzie. Strange thing, though. The kid didn’t seem to mind it.
Atlanta Falcons quarterback Chris Chandler, a brittle guy who can scarcely make it through a single game without injuring himself, has been referred to as “Crystal Chandelier.”
I knew a guy called Spanky…got caught in a friends house over a Hustler. That lasted a good year. The next year it was changed to Jergins…story was that someone went over to his house and found a HUGE empty bottle of it in his wastebasket. Considering his past, we deduced it was not because of chapped and cracking elbows.
There was also a dude in college called “Liberty Bell”. It was not until he passed out nude at a party that we found out why.
Wait for it
The guys dong looks like the clapper for a bell. Huge, skinny and almost grotesque to a big round head at the end.
Someone took a picture of him in his glory and thumbtacked it on the Frat bulletin board. Took him 3 months to actually look up there and recognize the body part.
Ah college…
In high schoo, we had a Skids, for much the same reason as the guy in Oxymoron’s post. He became a drug dealer by 10th grade and died of a heroin overdose.
Then there was Porky, but not because he was fat, or in any way resembled a pig. In biology class one of our assignments was to dissect a fetal pig. I don’t know if he’d made a bet with his lab partner or what, but in the middle of class, he unzipped, whipped out his schlong, and stuck it inside the pig’s abdominal cavity. He was caught, of course, and was quickly tagged with his new nickname. Don’t know what became of him.
Beaker. This kid had red hair and a nervous tic around his mouth that reminded everyone of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew’s assistant from The Muppet Show. That kid graduated, went to college, moved 10,000 miles from his hometown and now frequents message boards under the pseudonym “Sublight”.
We had a “Flobi” (pronounced Flow-bee) in high school - short for “Fluorescent Bitch”. She was new to school and overcompensated her shyness by being very over-bearing and bitchy. The fluorescent part was her hair was the brightest red I’d ever seen (and no, I did not give her the name).
Turned out she was a really nice person, once she settled down two years later.
There is a guy I know with the last name McDermott. And he is a filthy bastard. I mean the guy doesn’t shower regularly, nver does his laundry, never cleans his apartment, and any place he’s ever lived is over run with roaches. So we all call him McDirty.
I used to have a pretty noticable underbite and I was teased for it for most of my life. It hurt. A lot, and sometimes I’d come home crying because, hey, I couldn’t fix it! Some of my most memorable names (that I try to forget) are: Monkey, Fish (sometimes a Fish Called Wanda), Pirate (followed by an “Arrrr”, sometimes I was called ‘Captain Hook’), and Kicked in Face Girl. Or sometimes they’d just jut out their jaw and laugh. In eighth grade we finally went to the orthodontist and I got it fixed (pretty quickly too, only a year and a half).