Funny/not-so-funny experiences with controlled substances

11th grade I took a horticulture class. T he class was taught by Mr. Sanderson who was a “bit of a hippie.” Not quite to the bit of wearing sandals all the time, but close.

Anyway, in the class we had a project of growing a plant for the semester. I don’t remember what I chose. But I do remember what Mark Humphrey chose; you guessed it, pot.

He kept it hidden behind a wall of other plants in a corner of the greenhouse.

Mark was your proto-typical late ‘90’s heavy metal lovin’ teenager, with the denim jacket with the Iron Maiden patch on the back.

One fine spring afternoon Mr. Sanderson called Mark up to his desk and the following conversation took place:

Mr. S: "Mark, I found your plant, and well, there’s a problem. Y’a see Mark, you were growing a marijuana plant, which is a bad thing. You did a very good job taking care of it, I’ll give you that, but, well Mark, it’s illegal to grow marijuana in Maryland, let alone grow it on school grounds. Do you understand what “I’m saying, Mark?”

Mark: “Yeah.”

Mr. S: Now, Mark, I’m afarid I’m going to have to really downgrade you for the project. I’m not going to fail you for it, but I’m going to have to give you a 60, ok?"

Mark: “Yeah, that’s cool, Can I have my plant?”

Mr. S: “No Mark, I’m going to smoke it.”

:stuck_out_tongue: :stuck_out_tongue:

I have had lots of good and bad experiences with lots of substances. I will try and write down the most memorable ones, which al center around my use of hallucinogetics (Right word?)

Good I was visiting a friend of mine in the center of Amsterdam. He was in an old university building on the top-floor. One time when we are all tripping like madmen we found a small stairway to the roof of the building. While up on top of the building, someone mentioned that the building was shaped like a ship. The moment he said this, the whole building started to sway like on a swell and I could see that all the buildings along the canal were also ships. After the first time we often took the building out for a nice boatride.

Funny We were in the same building and one of my friends thought it would be a good idea to bring the drumkit, the guitaramps and the bass to the balcony, overlooking Amsterdam. It was really foggy out. Only one of these friends has any musical talent. So they decided to give a live-performance (à la U2) in downtown Amsterdam at 3 in the morning. I and a girlfriend of mine decided to walk down to the street to see how it sounded and looked, and if people responded. Man, did we laugh !!! When the music suddenly stopped, we sneeked back upstairs. When we were almost to the door, we noticed the beam of a flashlight going up and down the hall. When we arrived at the door, two police-officers were trying to look into the room. Since we had already been spotted, the police politely asked us to open the door. We were tripping like Castaneda, so we complied. Then the funniest thing happened. Picture this : As we opened the door, the 3 musical friends suddenly appeared from behind the concrete pole they were hiding behind, acting unbelievably nonchalant. (3 people hiding behind a 1 meter thick pole). The officers kindly asked us to not perform any music after 10 at night, and even complimented them on their musical abilities !!!

BAD I have had several very scary, psychotic episodes while on Acid. The worst one being the one where I was in a forest and there were beings out there trying to get me. I have never had more clear visual hallucinations then that night. I was an avid reader and believer of Carlos Castaneda and was trying some of his rituals for summoning Allies. Kids, don’t try this. Since then 1 of my friends has commited suicide and 1 ended up in a mental hospital. I haven’t used any hallucinogetics since then, only the odd pot and whiskey. :smiley:

This certainly wasn’t funny to me at the time, but looking back, I can’t believe I was so naive. I was an avionics technician in the Navy, stationed at NAS North Island in San Diego - about 1975. I went out to a drive-in one night with two of the guys from my shop, plus the wife of one of them. Pete, who was driving, was rolling his own cigarettes. He explained he liked a special tobacco. I don’t like being around smoke, but it was his car, so I just opened my window for air.

After he took me home, Ray informed me that Pete had been smoking pot. I was furious! First off, the Navy regs stated that if you knew about it, you had to report it, and if you were anywhere around it, you would be charged, even if you didn’t partake. Secondly, I had a special security clearance at the time - that would have been snatched away in a heartbeat. Finally, they’d LIED to me!! Teach me to trust a coworker…

No, I didn’t report the incident, but I heard a couple of years later that Pete got in trouble for pot use. I was angry at myself for being so stupid. My whole career could have been destroyed that night. And I learned to do a better job picking my friends.

Funny—My ex had a public defender in Columbus once who was the stereotypical “absentminded old man”. He couldn’t ever remember our names, was constantly muttering to himself, and kept asking us “Are you the mushroom case?” Nope, we would answer, we’re the opium case. Needless to say, he wasn’t the greatest representation you could get but he was free. Fast forward a few years—we’re chatting with a friend from Columbus who’d just gotten out of a few-week stint in jail. Absentminded Old Man was in there with him. Seems he got drunk, pissed on a police car, was arrested and searched. They found a pound of mushrooms on him. :eek: Oh, the irony.

Not-so-Funny—The time I died. I came to being pounded on by a thirty-five year old, three hundred pound man who was weeping like a baby. I was gone for over two minutes, and he was scared to death. I haven’t touched that crap since, I can tell you that.

funnyI had taken some shrooms and got the normal burst of energy, so I decided to go outside and go for a walk. It was raining out, so I grabbed an umbrella. I ended walking about twenty blocks, and I was close to a buddy’s house so I decided to call him. I was bored with walking and wanted to get a ride back to the house where we were tripping. I went to close my umbrella so I could get into the phone booth, when I realized it wasn’t open. I had walked 20 blocks holding a closed umbrella above my head in the pouring rain. I even walked past people. Why didn’t they say, “hey dude, those things work better when open”? I suppose the sh*t eating grin I must have had tipped them off to my condition (If the umbrella didn’t)

strangeI was tripping with some pals at an apartment, and went to be by myself in a darkened room. The sliver of light coming through the door had a green tint to it. Pretty soon the walls started to look like a forest. It was one of those hallucinations that I just allowed to continue, cause it was vivid and cool. Pretty soon the whole room was a forest, and little elves were ducking in and out of my peripheral vision. I was thoroughly enjoying the moment when a buddy came into the room and turned on the light. snap forest gone. I yelled (loud enough for everyone in the building to hear) Dude! You scared away the elves! There was about a minute of silence, then all of us cracked up for a good ten minutes.

bad/stupidA party I was at was busted about 30 minutes after I dropped a gel. So I decided to drive home (can you say impaired judgement?). A freind knew I wasn’t in any condition to find home, so he told me to follow him (impaired judgement times two?) I followed his tail lights all the way home, having amazing hallucinations with the cement folding up and around the street lights. 2/3 of the way home I looked to the right and saw a State Trooper looking right back at me. He stayed with me for a few miles and then got off. Thank god my friend was driving well enough. Had he driven off a bridge, I would have followed.

ok First post . and I hope I can tell this in a funny manner…

was at a mates place for the australian equivelent of the super bowl and he decided to throw a party. so I arrived and proceded to the snacks table. upon spying the cookies I thought I’ll have one of those!! the were great oatmeal cookies and well, I thought that I should have another one. now two cookies down, and reaching for a third, the host came up and explained that I shouldn’t be a pig and eat all the ‘SPECIAL’ cookies. I asked what special was… Doh! they were made with hash butter, and I never even trying any form of illict materials, was relegated to the couch watching 3 pixels on the TV and wondering why my feet wouldn’t move, when I wanted to go back to the snack table. hell it seemed that I was a hit at the party and dont even rememer it. hope trauma didn’t blank it out.

hmmm that sig looked a whole lot beeter in a fixed width font… Sorry folks
Hattrick

Funny: I lived with my sister and a friend of hers during my sister’s early college years, and we were known to spend our money on keg parties and drugs rather than our rent. (stupid, I know.) One night, at one of our many keg-and-BYOD parties, my sister’s friend Amanda showed up with some gel-caps of LSD. Being the crazy stoner that I was, I bought a hit, as did three of my close friends who were there. I had noticed a pretty Spanish girl earlier in the night, and the acid had given me the courage to go talk to her. When I realized that she spoke very little English, I decided to try to wow her with my high school-level Spanish. Not doing too badly for a guy tripping his brains out, I was feeling good about myself … until I realized that I had been talking to my beer the whole time, while Maria the Hot Spanish Girl was intrigued by my Norwegian friend’s charming, “lady-killer” personality. (He was also tripping.) Nothing ever came of the conversation, as Maria had to leave to go back to her dorm, and none of us ever saw her again. :frowning: (a shared hallucination, perhaps?)

Bad: I was one of the careless pot-smokers in high school, and I was busted by my mom and my step-father on more than one occasion. Each time, I told them I was done smoking, and each time, they didn’t believe me. Can’t say I blame them now, but each time I was busted falls into the ‘bad’ category, seeing as how I never had a really traumatic experience with drugs.

-Dirty

It’s also too long. Please shorten it to a maximum of four lines. Thanks.

Good: While serving in the Navy at Whidby Island NAS, the crew decided to have a potluck. Only certain folks were invited because on person was going to make his magic mushroom spaghetti sauce. About half an hour after we ate and everyone was starting to trip, the lead officer for out division showed up. Somehow he overheard someone talking about a spaghetti feed and decided to show up. He found the sauce before we could stop him. We couldn’t tell him not to eat it so we let him eat. He had a good time that Saturday night. At Monday morning quarters he said next time we have a spaghetti feed, count him in. But he said he would not take any cold medicine first, it made him feel funny. Those of us that attended stood around with big grins on our faces.

Bad: Taking acid at a Rolling Stones concert at Anahiem Stadium. Ruined the whold experience for me.

Funny: Last summer my wife and I went to San Francisco for our vacation. We had spent the day doing the tourist things and were looking for someplace to eat. We ended up at an Olive Garden restaurant located at a shopping center. While trying to find a place to park, I was approached by a young man and offered some weed for $20. I figured why not, and before we went into eat, my wife and I partook. It was some really good stuff. We laughed, snickered, and giggled through the whole meal. We cleaned up our plates. Oh the food tasted so good. We had a great time in San Francisco.