Weird kids and funny events you remember from school

One kid in 2nd grade named Matthew was an odd duck, even among kids. Once outside at recess he casually picked a boogie out of his nose, walked over to another kid named Billy, and wiped it right inside Billy’s mouth. Didn’t say a word, like it was completely normal to do that.

Billy’s reaction was that of stunned silence before taking a couple steps and throwing up his guts all over the playground. It’s just as funny today as it was at school 40 years ago. So bizarre.

I never saw Matthew after 2nd grade. :dubious:

Who’s up?

33 years ago:

This is a friend’s story, not mine, but I’ve never forgotten it.

When friend was in the second grade, a developmentally disabled girl joined the class. Her claim to fame was that whenever the teacher left the room, the girl would start humping the leg of her desk, grunting and groaning loudly. Her classmates weren’t sure what was going on, but they found it fascinating.

One day the teacher came back sooner than expected and found the girl humping away, with the rest of the class watching intently. That was the girl’s last day in class. She was never seen again at that school.

I think it was 6th grade, Dave and John show up for first period absolutely hammered drunk. Early stage, fun and giggly. You could smell the booze throughout the classroom.

About halfway through, however, they both start to get droopy and woozy. Shortly after, Dave hurls, which triggers John right after him. Pretty much pure Vodka.

That was nasty! I seem to recall they both got suspended for a few days. I don’t think either lived it down for the rest of their school time.

Never saw John again after high school. Saw Dave at a reunion. He had been a guest of the State for a few years at one point. Pretty rough character.

There was a boy in our elementary school who was in the remedial classroom and would never talk unless you asked him how was the weather. Then he would launch into a 30 to 60 second rundown of the weather that day sounding exactly like a TV meteorologist.

Jesus, if I had a time machine, my first stop would be that classroom. Wow.

I actually wonder now ifthis is him?

:eek: The delivery is eerily similar.

Here’s a funny one…

I was a sophmore in high school back in '86. Excluding myself, my tale includes 4 participants… Mike and Rhonda, the popular couple in school, and two nerds named Brian and Mark.

The setup: I’m at my desk during 5th period english class, knowing full well that popular Mike occupies the same desk during the next period’s class. Back then it very common for kids to write notes on notebook paper, fold them up, and pass them to friends.

So, there I sat, bored, and decided to stir up trouble. I wrote a horribly perverse note about wanting to have sex with Mike’s girlfriend Rhonda. The note was very descriptive… real sick and twisted… filthy, borderline grotesque stuff. I then addressed the note to one of the school geeks, Brian, and signed off as the other dork Mark.

So I had written a sickening fake note from one nerd to the other nerd. I folded it up in the classic note passing triangle shape, and just as my class let out, I dropped it on the floor under my desk, where I knew Mike would find it next period.

Oh he found it, alright, and took the bait like a boss. After 6th period, I turned down a hallway to see Mike beating Mark to a bloody pulp. I swear I can still hear Mark gurgling and crying, “Mike, stop! I didn’t write the fucking note, Mike!” as he was being pounded and humiliated in front of a crowd of students, watching and laughing, including girls.

Oh man, that was funny. Good times.

By the way, it’s not lost on me that some of you will find that yarn to have been mean, and that’s okay, it was mean. :rolleyes: But others will think it was also funny as fuck. It’s for the latter group’s entertainment that I shared the memory. :wink:

It’s taking longer than we thought…

There was that kid in my 5th grade class who threw a box of Kleenex at the substitute teacher because she had the temerity to tell him to sit down and be quiet. At the time, I thought it was funny.

He eventually ended up in the school district’s separate school for emotional disturbance and has been arrested in half the counties in the state for dealing drugs. He’s currently serving 10 years. His last Facebook post was a complaint about confidential police informants. Now THAT was funny.

Nope, not funny. So far from funny that I’m disturbed that you find it funny.

No, it wasn’t funny, not at all.

I do remember the day in 8th grade when we had a snowstorm and extremely cold weather, and school should have been cancelled, but it wasn’t. (We’re talking 20 below with 40mph wind gusts, that kind of thing.) There was a boy who, on a dare, drank 12 cartons of chocolate milk which ultimately didn’t stay down very long.

That was gnarly.

The following year, two boys who were very bad news got into a fistfight just outside the cafeteria, as one of the lunch shifts was getting out. A crowd gathered, and quickly backed off when they took off their belts and started hitting each other with the buckles. :eek: About that time, the administrative staff, who were all elderly (and our principal was a woman, unusual in the 1970s) showed up, and were promptly knocked to the floor. That wasn’t really funny, but people were saying, “Did you see that fight?” and others would reply, “See it? I was practically IN it.”

I think that was the same year that, during the school band’s pancake breakfast, several boys blew up enough balloons to completely fill the director’s car. :smiley: This was her first year out of college; no way would we have tried that with the previous director, who was middle-aged and had two kids at that school, in band of course. I heard a few years later that this teacher was fired for lighting up a joint in the teacher’s lounge, which was believable but ended up not being true.

Very sad:

In our high school, everyone had swimming class every day for 6 weeks each semester. The boys had to swim naked, but if you were excused from swimming you had to walk around the pool, naked, for the period.

There was one kid in my class who was very tall, very thin, and was hung like a giant horse. On the first day of class he had a doctor’s note, so he began to walk around the pool. Some of the kids called him names and splashed water on him, and yelled things like “Make that dick swing.” They tormented the guy mercilessly, and the teacher didn’t stop them.

Finally, the guy just walked back into the locker room. He apparently got dressed, walked out of the school, and was never seen again. There was a search, but nobody ever knew what became of him.

That read like the setup to a good joke… only without a punchline.

:confused: You don’t have a time machine? :confused:


I’ll bet someone at home was abusing that girl.

Classic bad family influences.

Sounds like someone on the autism spectrum.

Man, what a killjoy! Imagine thinking of children who behave oddly as actual people with real problems.

When I was a kid I had really bad eczema; in the winter especially it would spread to places like my neck. One day in maybe 5th grade I was standing over in the book section of the classroom and I ended up using both hands to scratch both sides of my neck at the same time. This struck another kid as a little funny so he snickered. I didn’t mind that, if I even noticed. But the teacher was a stickler for discipline, so she made him tell out loud what he was laughing at, even though he didn’t want to. When he was forced to say it to the class, I felt like shit. I don’t blame the kid, or really even the teacher (although I hope she learned a small lesson). Sometimes life is just crap.

At the first football game of the season the cheerleaders were in charge of making huge posters to hang along a fence during the game. Each grade needed 4 posters. We would find art students and others to make the signs for us. We were just too busy with other important cheer-y stuff. We did have to come and hang them up before the game. It was a big PITA. So we get the stupid things hung and leave to go get our cutesy little skirts on. We were stunned when we get back to the field and the largest of all the signs is a big giant pic of the middle finger and lettering that said “Shoot a Bird”( btw, our rivals were the Cardinals".) I don’t know who lied first but we swore to God we did not hang that poster and did not know who drew it. Somehow they believed us. We undoubtedly put the poster up. We didn’t pay attention to that shit. Too busy being cheerleaders. It was a hard, hard life, I’m here to tell you.

My brother had a classmate who did this, albeit in 5th grade. He and his best friend got in trouble several years later when one set of parents (can’t recall who) caught them prank calling him and saying, “Hey, did Steve recover from his hangover yet?” :dubious: I went to school with his older siblings; all of the kids were the kind that nobody liked any of them, but hung around with them because they were champion swimmers - something that, looking back, may not have been the kids’ idea.

He also had a friend who got in trouble in driver’s ed because the teacher, who admittedly was a bit of a doofus, was talking about speeding and said, “So, what would you do if an elephant walked out onto a highway and you couldn’t stop in time?” and the kid said, “Oh, yeah, right, an elephant walks out onto a highway in Iowa, I’m sure.” :stuck_out_tongue:

I was in drama class in grade 11. One kid was just a jerk. He had been a jerk for a few years, I think. The teacher was this nerdy, bespeckled bald guy. He could barely speak above a whisper. ( An aside, he taught speech and drama???, go figure) Well this jerky kid would not let up saying “I can’t hear you” or “What did you say?”. The teach was getting red around his ears and perspiration was dripping off his chin. Me, on the front row, being a good student and a very kind person, I began to worry. I thought the teach/ nerd would explode. But, Nooooo!. Let me set the scene, the teach walked to the book shelf on my left and picked out a book, strolled, as in slow motion, back to the front of the class. Slowly he turned to face jerkish teen with red hair and freckles. Aimed, and chunked that heavy tome and beaned that jerk right upside the forehead. Kid falls to the floor. He’s not seriously injured. But, not done yet, the teacher/nerd/my new hero screamed out loud. Never knew the man could make a sound like that and that loud. He ran from the room, to who-knows-where. We had a sub for the rest of the year. The end.