Turning their eyelids inside out…yuck
geeeet outaa hee
Hi, aha, how the hell are ya? Glad to have you here.
Ed Zotti~
Squirt milk out their eye.
Sala, can’t you count?!? I said NO camels! That’s FIVE camels!
You can’t squirt milk out your eye! Tear ducts don’t connect to your mouth at all. You were decieved, my friend.
Pierce themselves. I won’t tell you where.
When I was about 7 or 8 years old, we had theses really strange neighbors. They had about 6 or 7 kids. They were always dirty and stuff, always outside doing wierd things.
The weirdest one by far was a boy, about 5 or 6, by the name of Leonard. I will never forget this as long as I live.
One day, while outside playing around, Leonard caught a toad, your average medium sized New Jersey toad. Leonard also happened to have the top of a steel can, you know the sharp edgy round top of your average veggie can. What he did next was truly disgusting.
Leonard took the top of the can and cut the live toad in half. I was sickened. What he did after that to this day makes me nauseous.
Leonard licked the insides of the half of the toad he had dangling in his hand. This is a true story. I will always remember my sister and me running, screaming into our house, “Mom!! Leonard licked a toad!! The inside of a toad!!” Bleck.
Alcohol and calculus don’t mix. Never drink and derive.
. . . and today, Leonard is a dot-com billionaire.
Hmm.
There was this weird kid in my first grade class. One day he asked me ‘Hey Trout, you want to see something?’ Like a fool I said yes, whereupon he ripped a dime-sized scab off his arm and ate it in front of me.
(And psycat, I don’t think anyone is gonna be able to top your story.)
TMR
If you believed in yourself, and tore enough holes
in your pants, there was always a mist-filled alley
right around the corner.
Holy shit! Only five posts so far and trout mask has grossed me out the worst so far. I would rather suck a toad than eat a scab.
Hi, aha, how the hell are ya? Glad to have you here.
Ed Zotti
I didn’t actually see this, but friends of mine have a kid, and they were really pleased that he could finally go to the toilet by himself without spraying all over the seat. Then they caught him wiping up with the hand towel…
BTW normal people can’t squirt milk out their eyes but some gifted individuals can, I’ve seen it.
Still doesn’t beat the toad story though.
The Scots - never trust a race whose national dress includes a concealed knife.
“I would rather suck a toad than eat a scab.”
—OK, I think we have aha’s new sig line!
I think you may be right Eve! But not till we are all throughly sick of the one I have now.
Hi, aha, how the hell are ya? Glad to have you here.
Ed Zotti
I knew (knew of, more thank knew) a sexually precocious boy who started screwing at the age of 9 or 10.
Screwing dogs.
He’s now doing federal time for similar offences involving cripples.
Dee da dee da dee dee do do / Dee ba ditty doh / Deedle dooby doo ba dee um bee ooby / Be doodle oodle doodle dee doh http://members.xoom.com/labradorian/
Geezzz do they have to make a federal case out of * everything? *
Hi, aha, how the hell are ya? Glad to have you here.
Ed Zotti
Well I was gonna save this one for last but here it is.
I knew a kid growing up that tried to smoke an earth worm. Mmm huh that’s right, he said watch this… then put the worm in his mouth and took out a match and lit that baby up! Well sorta.
(insert deliverance banjo music here)
Hi, aha, how the hell are ya? Glad to have you here.
Ed Zotti
While I was not there to witness it, freshman year in high school, this kid named Dan (the minister’s son, therefore a badass) was bared to eat one of the goldfish swimming around happily in the tank in his biology class while the teacher was out of the room.
Dan became a hero to freshmen, the enemy of goldfish, and the teacher was none-the-wiser.
Along those lines: a band called Guster was playing a club in town. The show was sold out. They let one kid in, under the stipulation he had to do anything the band wanted, on stage, that was not sexual. They made him eat a live goldfish on-stage. It was the most disgusting thing I have ever seen.
I was going to try to think of something to add, but I don’t think the kids I knew were from the same league as some of these. Or the same planet, even.
I guess I also have to mention the time my “friend” performed “surgery” on his “wart”. It wasn’t exactly a “sterile” environment.
Sala, can’t you count?!? I said NO camels! That’s FIVE camels!
*SwimmingRiddles: You can’t squirt milk out your eye! Tear ducts don’t connect to your mouth at all. You were decieved, my friend. **
I knew someone who could blow cigarette smoke out of his tear ducts.
They are connected to the nasal passages. Mr. Milk Squirter probably rolled his head to get liquid milk up into his nasal passage, then did what my aquaintance did.
Wrong thinking is punished, right thinking is just as swiftly rewarded. You’ll find it an effective combination.
We had a kid in school that would take toothpicks to stick in his turds, and play submarines.
This guy also couldn’t pick out the US on a world map, and this is in the 4th grade when both these incidents were taking place
Oh God…why’d I come in here…
/Stumbles out looking pale and green :eek:
-SS
Lazy bastards always make it easier for the lazier bastards to get special treatment for being useless…how else do you explain American law?
For a while when we were kids a local fad was to eat Cheezies (similar to Cheetos) rolled in dirt. MMMMMMMMM!!!
Keith
You want brilliance BEFORE I’ve had my coffee!!!