I remember a day, not too long ago, when you got your very first email account. You were dismayed at the number of group emails that a certain friend of ours forwarded you, and you actually requested that she cease and desist. Personally, I find that to be quite reasonable.
What I find UN-fucking-reasonable, however, is the fact that you feel free to forward spam yourself. I know, I know, you have said that you only forward things which are too important or too funny not to forward.
Do you not realize how subjective that is?! I, for one, consider warnings about Satanic Clowns hiding in vans (yes, the same urban legend which spread through my neighborhood in the 1970’s) unimportant. Ditto so-called precious stories about Kids Who Say the Darndest Things. I’m talking about kids I don’t even know. Kids YOU don’t even know but somehow managed to get this story forwarded to you and are passing along the same. Ditto warnings about microwaves or cell phones or scams or hoaxes or Anthrax (the affliction, not the band, although I really don’t need news of the band either).
You know what? New rule: If there is something that you consider paramount to my safety and well-being, tell me in person. If there is some joke which is so funny that I can’t possibly carry on the rest of my days without hearing, tell me in person. 'Cause, frankly, I just hit delete whenever I see 'Fwd:fwd:fwd:" in the subject line.
I know you’re not going to listen to this, because I have tried telling you before. Maybe I need to send out a group memo.
Sincerely,
Lorene, who has managed to live 30-plus years in relative safety and happiness without your dire warnings of men who will try to abduct women from shopping malls or funny stories about some kid’s letter to God or Santa or the imaginary friend of your choice.
Reply-all with the Snopes link. That usually stops 'em, either because they wise up or they get so mad they never speak to you again. Either way, problem solved.
Here, I received the following response many years ago when I sent an item of interest (not anything forwarded, but my own comments on a website) to someone I thought would appreciate it.
“Every so often someone sends me something useful or informative by email. When that happens, I’ll let you know.”
Great advice all around.
I have bookmarked snopes and am ready to put it into action.
I also have to add that this friend is email impaired in general—she will send people an email and write in the body of the message:
My email address is Sillyperson@sillymail.com. Somehow not quite understanding that her email address will be fairly apparent to anyone she sends mail to, even if she doesn’t help them out with this.
I get bored with the amount of group e-mails I get. There not even different ones! I’ve found blocking my friends untill they agree to stop, works. Harsh, but true.
Thank the Higher Powers that Be I have only had to do this to one person. He’s not even MY friend… He’s my HUSBANDS friend. I was getting 20-30 forwards DAILY from him and I NEVER open ANYTHING that has FWD in the subject line. (especially after getting a loverly VIRUS thru one TYVFM) anything with a FWD gets sent DIRECTLY to the trash. WTF is it with these stupid fucks that don’t know how to copy and paste even after you’ve SHOWN them how?
Well, some people do forward only good stuff. My former boss is a good example; she sends out stuff that’s carefully selected for her target audience, and I seldom fail to appreciate her emails. Especially when they’re forwards from her friend Stuart, who seems to find the BEST stuff to foward that you simply don’t see in the usual mass forwarder’s output.
My mother, fortunately, has been buried with spam from a friend of hers, so has learned to also be highly selective in what she sends out. She’s pretty computer-clueless, so I’m grateful she learned by being on the receiving end. (She also fell for one of those “delete this file immediately if you find it on your computer!” scams forwarded by a cousin, so once I helped her restore the file she decided maybe she’d ask me first from now on!)
Nothing like getting burned to teach you a good lesson!
