Fwd: Fwd: FWD: Fwd: FWD: ARRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH

The BBQ Pit
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WHY WHY WHY???

Please, do NOT send me chain letter emails with forwards dating back to fucking APRIL 19th!!!

Actually, please don’t send me emails at all, but if you feel you must find out whether your crush will ever love you like a horny puppy, at the very least spend the time to DELETE DELETE DELETE

I do not need to know that Tim in South Carolina was so fucking desperate 6 months ago that he sent it to Jane, his mom, his sixteen cousins, his high school teacher, his band leader and his psychiatrist!!! And that she forwarded it to her dog trainer, her swim coach, her gyno and her high school debate team Or that the debate team sent it to…I DON’T WANT TO KNOW!!

I do not need to know that every single fucking one of you uses hotmail, and that MSN has anit-spam features (THIS IS FUCKING SPAM!!).

I do not need you to forward your name in big fucking ~~CRIMSON~~ letters in between all those bloody FORWARDS.

I do not need to know the email addresses of the 2689073 people on your list, nor the other sixty-three million people they know, or their friends knew, or the friend’s friend’s knew, ad infinitum.

I DO NOT WANT TO SPEND 20 MINUTES SCROLLING TO SEE A BUNCH OF
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preceded, of course, by 20 >>>>>>>>>>>>> so that I have to scroll RIGHT to see if there is, in fact, any content to this God forsaken email.

Please, never send me anything again.

Otherwise, I might just get mad.

How’s that, Judicator?

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Are you happy with the size of your penis?

Do you need any prescription medications “legally” without a prescription?

Yes, and no.

P.S. If you came to my house to sell me this stuff as often as you e-mail me I would use your salesmen as dog food to save money, until I was found not guilty by reason of insanity.

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Hmmm…I’ve often thought that the only thing the least bit interesting about those crappy forwarded chain letters is seeing the path of suckers who forward it. I get a kick out of seeing which companies and/or government agencies are on the list.

But then again I’m easily amused most days.

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I agree. Anything I see with a dozen Fwd’s from anyone gets deleted without so much as a look. Too lazy to edit that crap? Well fuck you, too!

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I filter everything with “fwd” in the subject right into the trash. Ahhhh…it’s bliss.

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Does anyone else get the ones that say,

Please forward this emai to 10 people you love, including me?

I opened the damn thing, isn’t that proof enough that I love you? Don’t try to emotionally blackmail me into clogging the net and wasting others time with this useless dreck!

Thank you.

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>>>Does anyone else get the ones that say,

>>>Please forward this emai to 10 people you love, including me?

>>>I opened the damn thing, isn’t that proof enough that I love
>>>you? Don’t try to emotionally blackmail me into clogging the
>>> net and wasting others time with this useless dreck!

>>>Thank you.
Aww, I wuv you too, j66!

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I got one of those forwards a weeks ago from my friend. It told me if I didn’t forward it immediatly I would die. So of course I deleted it. But then my other friends who had recieved it from the same friend all forwarded it to me again!

I mean come on! It’s an e-mail! You’re not REALLY going to die if you don’t forward it!

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I hate that crap too–and I’m always getting forwarded jokes from people who think it’s the ultimate in humor to make you scroll down half a mile to get to the end (with little notes along the way to assure you that this punch line is going to be a real knee-slapper when you FINALLY get to it). It’s enough to make a normally sane person put a fist through the computer moniter!

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I also get the ones with 87 pictues of wee cute kitties. Alright, I admit it, I have a fondness for cats, but using up all of my storage space with 8 versions of the same damn small cats because people can’t see that my address is in the original e-mail just annoys me beyond all reason. Also, my sister-in-law who insists on sending 12 pictures of her children who I don’t even like–all from slightly different angles, and with captions like “Bobbie in Church!” Sheesh. You are using up half of my available space with this crap?

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Oh, and the religious glurge from people who should really know better–like people who have had a conversation of more than 30 seconds with me. I don’t care that Jesus held little Tommy’s hand all through his cancer surgery and Timmy had lots of dreams of angels and President Bush. Good grief. How do you convince people who you are related to (and who should presumably know better) to stop sending you this stuff?

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Ah, I share your pain mnemosyne…

Though I have trained my friends well. I got sick of getting shit like that, especially after I had specifically told them NOT to. So whenever I got an email telling me to forward it to 10 people (or whatever), I just sent it back to the person who sent it to me… 10 times.
hmmmm, as someone called happylittlevegemite, I feel out of place in the pit. :frowning:

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There’s plenty of room in the pit for Vegemite!

[sub]I may be the only Texan in this multiverse who likes that stuff.[/sub]

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Luckily, most of my friends don’t go in for that sort of thing, but I do have one, a very dear friend, who sends every piece of patriotic glurge that hits his inbox. It makes me INSANE, but I really adore this guy, so I grit my teeth and delete it rather than going ballistic on him.

I also had a problem for a while with this woman who’d apparently copied all the email addresses off a web site for my former Navy ship. At first it was just stuff about a ship’s reunion, which was A-OK with me, but then she got it into her head that we’d all appreciate her religious glurge FWDs. Look, I understand you think the stories about little Johnny in Sunday school are the height of hilarity, but I’m not at all interested, and besides, I DON’T EVEN KNOW YOU! Quit sending me this shit!

I had to email her twice to get her to stop; the first time she either ignored it or it just got lost in the torrent of crap she’s evidently receiving constantly, but the second time, when I threatened to report her to her ISP for spamming, got through. Of course she got very sniffy, saying, “Oh, sorry, I thought you had a sense of humor.” Oh, you cut me real deep there, Sunshine. :rolleyes:

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I usually don’t get the humorous ones. Instead those bastards keep forwarding me all the daily affirmation, religious glurge crap. No, I don’t give a flying fuck whether Tommy found Jesus before his kidneys crawled up his goddamned throat and strangled his fucking brain. Go. Away.

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DEMONS!!! DEMONS!!!

PACKERS WIN THE SUPERBOWL!!!

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>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>When
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>I
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>get
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>those,
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>I
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>usually…
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>wait for it…
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>this is going to be really funny…
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>You’ll thank me for sending you this…
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>Prepare to laugh your ass off…
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>Honestly, you’ve scrolled this far without deleting this?
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>Do you honestly think the punchline will be worth it?
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>Just move on already. Sheesh.

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The only solution is to reply to all and humiliate them in front of the whole list. Usually this will be a Snopes link and a lot of sarcasm. It only takes most people one humiliation to get them to remove you from their list.

Haj

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Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd:Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd:

MUSHROOM MUSHROOM!

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I had a friend who continually did this. Every fucking forward, piece of glurge, hoax, urban legend, etc that he got, he forwarded to me.

I used to ask him to stop, and then one day I sent an e-mail that said every forward I got from him would be debunked and then sent to everyone, including him, and that I’d put his address in there 100 times for every forward I got.

He sent me three more the following day.

Two days later I got a very pissed off e-mail regarding the 300 replies, but never another forward.