G.I. Joe: War Criminal

In a brilliant marketing ploy, cashing in on the recent events in Iraq where it was ostensibly made clear that wearing your enemies uniform in order to infiltrate and do nasty things is indeed a war crime, the people at G.I. Joe have created the new War Criminal line of G.I. Joe products. From the site:

I’ve never been so proud.

OH NO JAMES BOND IS A TERRORIST

>> wearing your enemies uniform in order to infiltrate and do nasty things is indeed a war crime

No, that is only when the bad guys do it, then it is a war crime. When the good guys do it then they are heroes. Just ask Lord Rumsfeld.

Well, since it is the pit, wearing the uniform of your enemy isn’t ostensibly a war crime, it is a warcrime:

http://www.yale.edu/lawweb/avalon/lawofwar/hague02.htm

Relevant passages are in annex to the convention, section I, Chapter I, Article 1.

Article 1

The laws, rights, and duties of war apply not only to armies, but also to militia and volunteer corps, fulfilling the following conditions:

To be commanded by a person responsible for his subordinates;

To have a fixed distinctive emblem recognizable at a distance;

To carry arms openly; and

To conduct their operations in accordance with the laws and customs of war.

In countries where militia or volunteer corps constitute the army, or form part of it, they are included under the denomination “army.”

Article 2

The population of a territory which has not been occupied who, on the enemy’s approach, spontaneously take up arms to resist the invading troops without having time to organize themselves in accordance with Article 1, shall be regarded a belligerent, if they respect the laws and customs of war.
While any actual civilian who takes up arms to resist invasion is exempted by article 2 from the requirement in article 1 “To have a fixed distinctive emblem recognizable at a distance,” any soldier or member of a militia who removes his uniform can at best hope to be treated as a spy, and as such be liable to execution (after a proper trial, of course) if caught in the act.

Mind you, the only ones likely to be tried for war crimes are usually on the losing side, but there you go. Anyway, it’s only GI Joe. I always wondered why nobody ever got killed with all those blue and red lasers zapping back and forth.

GI Joe comes off as racist. Why is White Duke in charge but no Latino characters are found anywhere? Latinos don’t exist in the Pearly White/Charcoal Black world of GI Joe.

Are you crazy? Shipwreck’s name is Hector Ramirez, for crying out loud.

And Duke’s not in charge, General Hawk is. General Tomahawk, these days.
Fun Fact: Tunnel Rat’s head is designed to look like Larry Hama, the old writer for the comic.

Yes, so us Latinos get the drunk Sailor who uses those “special barrels” when out in the sea for long voyages. Color me unimpressed.

And I stand corrected on the Duke comment.

From the first year:

http://www.yojoe.com/filecard/82/zap.shtml

Oops! Got Shipwreck backwards. The REPORTER was Hector Ramirez. Shipwreck is Delgado.

http://www.yojoe.com/filecard/85/shipwreck.shtml

For a hoot, Crystal Ball… who has the distinction of a file card authored by Stephen King.

http://www.yojoe.com/filecard/87/crystalball.shtml
http://www.yojoe.com/filecard/87/knockdown.shtml

I seem to remember that after WWII the Allies attempted to try the Germans for wearing American uniforms during the Battle of the Bulge, but didn’t succeed because wearing the uniform was OK, they just had to take it off and fight wearing the German uniform which they had on underneath the American one. Nope, not a war crime just to wear the enemy’s uniform.

Interestingly, Shipwreck happens to have the bestest… and I mean bestest… disguise of all. He turns into Cobra Commander.

However, if you look closely at the figure, none of his sigils are actual Cobra symbols. Interesting.

Yes. I had to get it. It’s SHIPWRECK. Disguising himself as Cobra Freaking Commander. And getting away with it. Damn, I love that guy.

I’m afraid that “Hispanic” facial features and coloring are somewhat difficult to bring out in animation. They tend to look either caucasian or east asian. But maybe that’s just me.

Actually, come to think of it, I don’t even really get what “Latino” features are. I don’t really make a distinction, aside that more Latinos have mixed ancestry in the last few centuries.

Wasn’t Tunnel Rat supposed to be Latino?

Articles 1 and 2 just help define a belligerent. Article 23 speaks to limitations on wearing the enemy’s uniform.

No, Rob, Tunnel Rat’s Larry Hama. Who’s asian.

Yeah, right. It says it’s wrong “To make improper use of a flag of truce…enemy’s uniform”. Now, where does it define what it means by “improper”? Not tucking in the shirttails might be wearing the uniform inproperly, but they don’t really say what they mean by it, do they?

Oh, and since they don’t say just “use of”, but “improper use of”, the word “improper” just might mean something, huh?

I’m still pissed off at G. I. Joe because when I was a kid in the late '80s, they had the stupid small ones with some kind of rubber bands holding them together. And now years later, they’ve finally brought back the cool big ones. Bah.

Funny, they don’t have a problem with Marco Rodrigo Diaz de Vivar Gabriel Garcia Marquez.

Yeah, but nobody dies in GI Joe. Everybody parachute-ejects out of their planes right before they blow up. So it isn’t costing any lives.

And why not dress up as the enemy? The only reason not to is to encourage the enemy not to pull the same trick.

War crimes are a stupid concept anyways, who the heck are you supposed to be responsible to anyways? Do we really wanna subject our military to the jurisdiction of a bunch of socialists sitting around in The Hague? I mean, do they come straight from the hash bars to the international court? Screw that. War crimes should be enforced the same way everything else is…if you cheat the unwritten rules, all gloves are off, and we’ll f*ck you over.