Party favours and Christmas Crackers!
Really? And ya’ll think I’m the one who’s alphabet-challenged? 
Radiant faces of little children singing in the Christmas pageant.
Silent nights and holy nights.
Tinsel on the Tannenbaum
Up the chimney … could it be Saint Nick?
Veni, veni, Emmanuel!
White snow blanketing the meadows, the soft snores of the cat asleep in my lap, while the scent of roasting turkey fills the house and the scotch in my glass reflects the impish trickles of firelight…
Xmas music for me? Mannheim Steamroller!
You’re All I Want For Christmas
Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz…huh?..4AM?..PRESENTS!
And what do I get, socks! And underwear!
Beer-flavored jelly beans. Ah. No.
Can I have Kate Upton in my (sufficiently large) stocking, please? Please?
Darn, we’re fresh out of Upton. How about a Kardassian instead?
Everyone here is getting a Barbie Doll. You can all name them Kate or Kim and have play dates.
Fum-fuh! Kim K’s ass is so big it has its own congressman!
Gerrymandering was never so… arousing.
Hiccup
In other news, China and the U.S. have come to agreements regarding climate change measures.
Just a durn minute! CheshireKat reminded me we’re doing more Christmas and I wouldn’t disappoint a cat, so…
Jingle bells, Batman smells, Robin laid an egg
Batmobile lost its wheels, Joker got away.
Better?