Joffrey’s death did not look painful enough…
It also doesn’t make nearly as good an animated GIF/YouTube video as, say, Tyrion slapping him.
I wish I hadn’t speculated, because I really, really don’t want to know. Still, it’s way out of Sansa’s capabilities. 10 days ago I had never seen a single episode and now I’m up to date. Bleh, now I have to wait with all the other chumps.
We know it couldn’t have been Tyrion. He had no way of knowing beforehand that he’d be humiliated that way, and no way of knowing which cup was poisoned.
We also know that only one cup was poisoned, otherwise there would be more dead people.
I think Sersei is the only one whom we can say didn’t kill Joffrey. I’m pretty sure Tyrion didn’t, but he certainly had motive and means. But so did the Dornish. Sansa doesn’t have the cajones, but that would be a good swerve.
Glad he’s dead, but I would have preferred he get Theon-like treatment.
No, I don’t think it was Tyrion, but he’s going to be blamed for it nonetheless. I really feel sorry for him. Hated by his father. Responsible for the victory at that battle, but unrecognized. And now this.
I was wondering why Theon’s torturer, Ramsay Snow, let him have a straight razor and access to his throat. I really thought that Theon would cut Ramsay’s throat.
He was showing off to his father. Showing how well Reek is trained.
Yes, but Reek was really bothered by their little game with that poor woman.
Theon might have done it. Reek doesn’t have the balls to do it.
I admit my first thought upon seeing the dead birds was, “DEAD DOVE - DO NOT EAT!” from Arrested Development.
I loved all the banter and posturing at the wedding. The Dornish prince mocks the Lannisters. Ser Lorris and Ser Jaime mock each other. Cersei mocks Brienne, who then tries to bore holes in her head with her glare. Tywin and Lady Tyrell should star in a show about a retired couple that bickers constantly. Tyrion finally wins the heart (or at least moderate respect) of Sansa by mocking Joffery. Everybody is insulting everybody in the most entertaining way.
Then, for dessert, King Cunt of House Cunt chokes and dies. And while he’s choking, entire throngs of people sit still and watch. I like to imagine there was a Maester in the audience thinking, “Oh! Those are symptoms of flurble-poisoning. I have the antidote right - actually, you know what? Fuck it.” Then he sits down and pours himself more wine.
10/10 Much better than previous wedding. Would attend again.
I hope someone smacked you when you made that pun. If not, smack youselr upside the head.
Sorry. :smack:
You. Are. Terrible.
I want you to know I literally laughed out loud all the while I was reading this. Especially the maester bit.
I think Ser Dontos (the Fool) is definitely involved in Joffrey’s death. I suspect the necklace he gave Sansa is implicated also, maybe Sansa as well. All speculation, of course.
It was a close run thing, particularly when he mentioned Robb Stark. More of a gamble than he thought, but it turned out he knew his toy after all.
Best spinoff idea since the Arya and the Hound show.
Oh, derp. I didn’t refresh my memory with a rewatch, so subtler things are sometimes lost on me. On the bright side, I often don’t even notice when they change actors.
It’s pretty clear that Ser Dontos is somehow in on the conspiracy.
So who gets the throne now? Margery? Or does it have to be a king?
He definitely is. The necklace may or may not be; Chekov’s Gun says it should be, but Maester Freud says sometimes a necklace is just a necklace, and the scene was just there to establish his gratitude to Sansa. Practically speaking, I don’t see how it could be, especially because I am equally certain Sansa is not involved (in any conscious or knowing way). She wouldn’t have the balls for it (Hi, Reek!), and anyway, she was as confused as anyone. She isn’t a master intriguer, nor is she a master thespian.
I guess it’s possible that she might be some sort of unknowing vector or agent, but I don’t see how. No one could have known beforehand, absent divinitory magic we haven’t seen evidence of yet, that Sansa would touch King Cunty McCuntface’s cup; that only happened because he decided that on that day, he was going to be a monster by fucking with Uncle Tyrion, and even then only happened after his first choice for Fuck Wit’ Tyrion Day didn’t pan out. Personally, I kept waiting for him to start murdering people, or maybe having the midgets’ weapons turn out to be real, but I guess even poor dearly departed King of the Douchebags Joffrey knew enough to keep that shit in private.
Honestly, it could be that the conspirators are a faction we haven’t even seen yet, especially as noble Ser Foole has been offscreen for ages.
Changing the subject, what is the succession now? Joffrey died without even an unborn heir. Any monarchy worth it’s salt will have rules for this, but I dunno what the hell the situation is in Westeros.
Suspects:
Tyrion - as others have said, the way things transpired were too random for Tyrion to have planned a poisoning like that.
The Dornish prince - shows general contempt for his hosts. I would not put it past him.
One of the Tyrells - Margaery and her grandmother had other plans that are now thrown out the window, but what of Loras? Doesn’t seem like his style, but this may get him out of his marriage to Cersei.
One of the Lannisters - Cersei seemed devoted to him not matter what. Jaime would be a surprise since we haven’t seen him interact with Joffrey much, though their most recent encounter was Joffrey poking fun at him. Tywin didn’t seem to be overly concerned with being able to control Joffrey, but might he have decided Tommen would be a better figurehead?
Sansa - a premeditated murder would be out of character for her, but she had a look of resolve on her face during the “history lesson.” Here’s a wild theory: maybe Sansa had some poison on her that she planned to use on herself at some point when, inevitably, Joffrey focused his cruel attentions on her. Then, when the cup rolled to her under the table, she took advantage of the serendipity.