Distraught parents bring their daughter to the church, and tell the priest, “Father, our daughter is possessed by the devil. Please you must help her! Perform an exorcism!”
Father Shanahan looks at the girl, who’s frothing at the mouth and making ugly sounds. He tells them, “This looks like an epileptic seizure. Get her to a hospital immediately. And then start taking her to a good neurologist.”
They take her to a hospital, and the good Father goes back to watching the ballgame.
And thanks to recent developments in anti-seizure medicines, she lives well, and to a ripe old age.
Following a series of grisly and puzzling murders, Holmes contacts LeStrade at Scotland Yard
“WTF is a consulting detective? Get lost creep”
A terrorist plants a bomb at City Hall and makes some ridiculous ransom demand. However, the device malfunctions and fizzles when police ignore his request. The FBI later finds and studies the device and the terrorist is tracked and arrested at his convenience store job a few days later.
A would-be serial killer has diabolical plans to kidnap women, drug them, torture them in a secret dungeon with homemade medieval implements, kill them, and preserve parts of their bodies, while getting rid of the rest by dissolving them in vats of acid. But he has $128 in his checking account, and his credit card is maxxed out. Also, the muffler on his car needs replaced, which makes stealthy getaways difficult. He settles for watching free porn, and calling the women on them mean names.
Jesus :eek:
A bus is wired to explode if it’s speed drops under 50mph. The device is discovered and disarmed in the bus barn before it’s activated. A rookie cop finds the bomber hiding under a table at Dunkin’ Donuts and arrests him.
The captain of the Starship Enterprise slips while climbing a mountain and falls to his death. Meanwhile in an isolated planet, representatives from the Federation, Klingon Empire, and Romulan Empire are meeting to hold peace talks when they are captured by a rogue band led by a Vulcan. Starfleet decides the best course of action is to stun the whole area from above with the phaser banks of a starship. The group is quickly rounded up and peace talks resume without further incident.
ARGH! What a way to wake up. ITS not it’s. Where’s the smilie for mortified?
Just trying to point out the the most ridiculous thing about serial killer/stalker movies is the unlimited resources of
the big evil.
He should have. Spock’s boots didn’t appear to have retrothrusters so how did he stop in midair while still upside down?
A man travels to the past and doesn’t meet anyone famous or becomes involved in anything historically significant.
A soldier comes back from war terribly traumatized. He takes advantage of several programs the VA has, as well as the Tri-Care insurance now available to reservists, and sees a psychiatrist, a private therapist, and a marriage counselor with his wife. He also uses the Family Medical Leave Act not to return to work right away, and they live OK on his wife’s earnings, his stipend he gets as a war vet, and their savings, and takes the six weeks to spend time working on his post-combat issues, and make up for lost time with his children, with is in itself very healing.
Six months later, he is doing really well. He is in better emotional health than most people who had not been through a traumatic experience.
A soldier comes back from war terribly traumatized. He takes advantage of several programs the VA has, as well as the Tri-Care insurance now available to reservists, and sees a psychiatrist, a private therapist, and a marriage counselor with his wife. He also uses the Family Medical Leave Act not to return to work right away, and they live OK on his wife’s earnings, his stipend he gets as a war vet, and their savings, and takes the six weeks to spend time working on his post-combat issues, and make up for lost time with his children, with is in itself very healing.
Six months later, he is doing really well. He is in better emotional health than most people who had not been through a traumatic experience.
Bambi’s mom ducks.
He spends a month as a serf, comes down with smallpox, gets arrested, spends another month as a galley slave, and is really, really glad to return to the present.
The blind woman hands him the doll.
A wealthy, civic-minded doctor, his wife and young son are walking back to their luxurious townhouse after having gone to see the latest Zorro movie together. The doctor briefly considers taking a short cut through an alley, but decides it is a fine evening for a walk together and that the ice cream shop a block ahead on the main street is too tempting to bypass. They all enjoy sundaes and go home.
I assume this one is the sequel?
The tallest building in San Francisco is having its coming-out party. Every dignitary is there. On a routine inspection, the fire chief discovers faulty wiring, and various safety violations a first year architecture student wouldn’t make. He closes and condemns the building, saving countless lives and possible billions in property damage.