Anyone know which of those was most frequent? Like I said, it seems like a hoax to me, but then I guess it was harder to meet homosexuals back then which would explain why you don’t see as many notes now (more acceptance). But even still, there’s got to be a better way. Oh well… such is the mind of white heterosexual upper-middle class suburban youth.
“I guess one person can make a difference, although most of the time they probably shouldn’t.”
I don’t know whether this counts, because I’m pretty sure it’s fiction, but there is a short story, parade by David Sedaris (which you can find in the book, Barrel Fever ), in which the main character goes to public mens rooms pretty much just to meet other men to have sex with. That’s not what the entire story is about, of course, but it’s part of the plot.
There’s a website that I don’t really want to post a link for because a) it’s pretty raunchy and b) I think it might be to some degree commercial that will give you quite the lowdown on that world. Run a search on Yahoo for the words “cruising” and “sex” and you’ll find it. It’s quite surprising (I guess maybe not to some folks). They don’t seem to talk about getting beat up very much, but there are some references to physical danger. Their main worries seem to concern law enforcement.
It forever changed my perspective on public parks and roadside rest areas (I smoke, but not in my car - on road trips I had been in the habit of stopping at rest areas to have a cig - little did I realize what appearance I must have given to some - live and learn).
From random stuff I’ve come across on the net (yes, I look in some pretty dark pits sometimes ) it seems like public rest stops are second only to adult bookstores in a place for gay/bi men to meet for exchange of anonymous sexual favors. The author of one article felt that it was really not much different than the typical one night stand, just more efficient.
Next time you are in a public rest stop bathroom stall, check and see if there is a hole drilled between the stalls. This whole should be large enough to accomodate…well you get the idea.
Beatle: I think i know what site you were talking about. I was looking for it to see if they listed any of the ones locally, and woah, I will never look at the local Mariott with the same eyes! They listed a beach i’ve heard was a nude beach (that didnt surprise me), and they also listed a park where I’ve hiked before in also. Really puts a new perspective on things for me now lol.
I have a course textbook titled “Deviant Behavior” - I bought it from a closeout mail-order seller for $4. (I really couldn’t resist that title, especially at that price) It has a whole chapter devoted to homosexuality/lesbianism and notes these sorts of “anonymous” sexual encounters, mostly focusing on gay men because that’s the majority of people involved. There was a couple pages on “truck-stop” etiquette alone. I can’t explain much more without risking being deleted. There were only two chapters in that book that surprised me, this was one of them. - MC
Well it looks like I am the first gay person to respond to this thread. I have to say that yes, gaybashers sometimes post, sometimes people get gay-bashed for reading/responding to the postings, sometimes the people are not gay, and sometimes gay people hook up this way. The website that was mentioned earlier is www.cruisingforsex.com. I don’t condone that type of behaviour, nor do I participate in it. It is easy enough to pick someone up at a place where you don’t have to be worried about being arrested and then have sex in the safety of your or his house, plus it is more enjoyable. My ex-roommate (not a boyfriend…just a sleazebag) never had a real boyfriend of his own because he only cruised for sex. He was only ever interested in one thing and it showed. Anyway, the younger generation of gay people (those who have come out since AIDS) tend to cruise very little or not at all. The majority of the cruisers out there are the ones who were either out in the seventies or before (if they are still alive), came of age in the seventies (not necessarily had sex though), or are just too desparate to put in the requisite time to develop a relationship.
HUGS!
Sqrl
Gasoline: As an accompaniement to cereal it made a refreshing change. Glen Baxter
I remember walking through Buena Vista park in San Francisco and seeing men just standing around in the bushes or by a tree. I didn’t understand why all of them didn’t get together for a love fest, but I guess they got their jollies from lurking.
I don’t really have anything to add, but a gay friend of mine, Nathan, cruises on a regular basis. I don’t think anyone takes the bathroom messages seriously - it’s easier to get it elsewhere.
“I remember walking through Buena Vista park in San Francisco and seeing men just standing around in the bushes or by a tree. I didn’t understand why all of them didn’t get together for a love fest, but I guess they got their jollies from lurking.”
That’s possible, but many cruise spots exhibit an interesting phenomenon - while you might think using such places is a practice for people who aren’t very picky - sometimes the opposite is true. Hooking up is based on physical type ONlY. So many times, although all of the usual suspects are incredibly horny (sex addiction) their ideal “type” may not be present.
At the university I attend, the bathroom messages are used mostly by gay-bashers to find someone to beat up. We get numerous freshman beatings every year because they don’t know yet that the offers are not legitimate.
Born O.K. the first time…
If you are born again, do you have two belly-buttons?
Cruisingforsex is pretty hilarious! I note that the National Shrine of Our Lady Of The Snows [Belleville, IL] (which I live just down the highways a bit from) is listed; that also being the location that local Catholic Ray Dorian has been having visions of the Virgin Mary (when it’s warm outside), with attendant crowds. I’d never have guessed, but there were a lot of people wandering around out there, , , ,
!
I wonder if the management knows about this listing? - MC
In SF, is was BATHHOUSES where they went. With AIDs, however, many bathhouses have been closed. In Monterey,California, the gay bar just recently closed.
I believe the statistics that the average gay man has 1000 sex partners.
I have seen that statistic before. I think it is horribly innacurate for the general gay population now, but before AIDS and for the people who did not contract HIV, that was highly likely. I have said this before, but the younger gay population is significantly different than the older gay population. Sex is one thing. We as young gay individuals tend to either date/commit to a relationship or series of relationships (several months to a years worth of relationships over and over and over and over ad nauseum again). The few younger gay people who sleep around are in the vast minority. You would be hard pressed to make 1000 men that you have slept with in a serial relationship category, but it is possible, especially as you start getting older. The sluttiest guy I know has had sex with 48 different people in the last 12 months (he keeps track of names, dates and times, and has had sex with a total of 54 people in his life. He is now 29). He sleeps with many more people by far than anyone else I know. The usual number is between 4-15 for any single individual not in a relationship with some variation but not anything significant. This was not the case before the eighties which is probably when handy’s “statistic” was written if at all. If you do an age bracket breakdown of the gay men, there will be a vast drop in the number of partners in people under 40 years old. Oh on another note, I did some volunteer work in an AIDS hospice a while back and one of the men there (incidently he was in his early sixties) was from San Francisco during the sixties and seventies and later moved to New York City. He said that on average he had sex with about four strangers a day for almost the entire time he was there. He also had several boyfriends whom he cheated on. Anyway, there is no comparison between his stories and the stories of todays youth.
HUGS!
Sqrl
Gasoline: As an accompaniement to cereal it made a refreshing change. Glen Baxter
Okay, I went and got it from the storage unit, as I had to look for something else also:
Title: Deviant Behavior (third edition)
Author: Alex Thio (noted as affiliated with Ohio University)
ISBN: 0-06-046683-9
Copyright 1988 by HarperCollinsPublishers, Inc.
Chapter Listing
(rated, 1 = boring, 10 = a hoot and a half)
Ch 1 - What Is Deviant Behavior? (zzzz)
Ch 2 - Traditional Theories of Deviance (zzzz)
Ch 3 - Modern Theories of Deviance (zzzz)
Ch 4 - A Theoretical Integration (zzzz)
Ch 5 - Murder (7.5)
Ch 6 - Rape (7.5)
Ch 7 - Robbery (5)
Ch 8 - Prostitution (8)
Ch 9 - Homosexuality (9.5)
Ch 10 - Swinging (9.5)
Ch 11 - Suicide (5)
Ch 12 - Mental Illness (6)
Ch 13 - Illegal Drug Use (4)
Ch 14 - Alcohol Use and Abuse (3)
Ch 15 - Organized Crime (5)
Ch 16 - White-Collar Crime (3)
Ch 17 - Governmental Deviance (2)
Handy, with all due respect, I would suggest that a study from the 1970s on the number of partners the average homosexual man has would have vanishingly small relevance today. No expert I on the ins and outs of the homosexual world (nor did I intend a pun there) but SqrlCub makes a great deal of sense when suggesting that the advent of AIDS drastically changed such behavior, with its grim reminder of the consequences of promiscuity.
) it seems like public rest stops are second only to adult bookstores in a place for gay/bi men to meet for exchange of anonymous sexual favors. The author of one article felt that it was really not much different than the typical one night stand, just more efficient.