Seems to me like there’s a “slippery slope” argument [hmmm…slippery slopes! ;)] embedded [hmm… oh stop it]
Oh you know. Once the argument is made that you should not do things in public that make it apparent that you are different in a way that mainstream folk don’t necessarily tolerate, it becomes too easy to argue that people who experience retaliation for not simply blending in have somehow brought it on themselves.
For people like jellyblue’s ex and matt_mcl, that’s tantamount to saying “do not be”, while for others it can simply be a matter of “just don’t smooch in public”.
While I understand what some of you are saying about public displays of affection in general (i.e., w/o regards to sexual orientation), I have to reject that because of the context. You can’t depoliticize the context, not while anti-gay reactions ranging from overt contempt to murderous violence are still horribly commonplace. To not engage in public displays of affection becomes a political statement as much as engaging in them does, whether you resent that fact or not.
This is a bit of a relief, because I was worried about getting the Official Queer One-Trick Pony mantle now that Esprix is so scarce on these boards
On the other hand, I got told this week that I’m “straight acting.” If guys can’t tell I’m gay, that may explain why my romantic life is dismal these days…
I’m there every year. I always march. I’ll probably march this year with Concordia University’s group.
No, that’s overly simplistic, because it says that not showing something is the same as hiding it. Also, it implies that choosing not to engage in public displays of affection makes one complicit in gay-bashing. See above for my reaction to that.
Take a step back. What is the goal of all these political statements? Unless I’m mistaken, it’s to get our society to the point where homosexuals are entitled to the same right to safety, freedom from prejudice, and freedom to love that heterosexuals have. In short, for equality. So why would anyone tell me that simply because I’m a homosexual, I’m no longer entitled to live my life and have a relationship the same way that heterosexual man would? That I’m obligated to make my private life open for public inspection?
To reiterate: if I’m choosing not to kiss or hold hands with the person I love because I’m afraid of what others will think of a same-sex display of affection, that’s bad and harmful to everyone. If I’m choosing not to do it because my personal life is my own damn business, then it’s my own damn business, and you bet your ass I “resent” anyone telling me I’m not picking up the slack for the gay rights movement. I’ve got enough straight people telling me I’m living my life the wrong way, to be having other gay people join in too.
My cousin is applying for their MBA program, I believe. The John Molson school. Her boyfriend is an English prof. at another one of them Montreal Universities, although I don’t know which one… maybe McGill?
Concordia’s my alma mater, and soon to be my graduate school.
I’ve heard good things about the music program there. Their building is on the Loyola campus, which means it’s far out of town, but it’s also old and very beautiful.
For the record, I didn’t intend to get so worked up about this topic, but I was feeling very defensive yesterday. It was the first time I’d heard anyone try to equate homosexuality and gay marriage with pedophilia; I honestly had no idea that there were people out there saying stuff like that.
I still believe everything I wrote, but I didn’t intend to put it so harshly. I’m still figuring all this stuff out for myself.
My husband and I never engage in anything more than holding hands, and that rarely. I would like to, but sometimes I feel uncomfortable just walking too close to him. This isn’t so much the fault of our current enviroment, SoCal is extremely liberal, but I grew up in rural rural rural rural Idaho, and its sometimes hard to shake that mindset. As it is, we have been shouted at and called fags a couple of times just walking close to each other in public. As much as I think the world needs to see it, and knowing we wouldn’t get much of a reaction the majority of the time, I am just too timid. Mr. Jeeves is much more self confident than I am , so he gets me to loosen up, but in general we are very discreet.
