Why Do Gays Feel The Need To Go Public?

I have lesbian friends and I just don’t get it. Why do gays/lesbians feel the need to be public about being gay? I mean i don’t walk around saying “I’m heterosexual”.

Does Walt Disney World have a Heterosexual Day? No but they have a Gay Day.

Please explain.

Do you even mention your husband in public? Have a wedding picture on your desk at work? Then you are walking around saying “I’m hetrosexual.”

I’m not gay, but maybe it’s because the default assumption is that you are heterosexual and therefore you have no need or desire to proclaim your heterosexuality.

Just a thought…


What do you mean by “public?” Heteros are quite public with their own PDAs, why can’t gays do the same?

You just did! :eek:

The Mouse does not sponsor “Gay Days” but rather welcomes the group of gay people who have decided that that particular block of days in June is the appropriate time to, as a group, patronize their tourist business.

Much as the restaurants that take reservations for Dopefests are not endorsing the Chicago Reader column, this message board, nor the get-togethers that they’re pleased to sell meals to.

Bottom line here, as I understand it, is that they’re simply being honest about who and what they are.

I did a post recently discussing how I and my wife met, I think over on the Unaboard (the post, not how we met). It was implicit in that that we are a heterosexual couple. But you don’t think twice about my saying “Barb and I will try to make it to that Dopefest” or “When my wife and I were at church Sunday, the priest said…” as my active avowal of “the heterosexual lifestyle.” (;)) The same statement by gobear or Mr Visible about what he and his partner did would be seen as “flaunting his homosexuality.”

Too, there’s been a tendency in America to regard homosexuality as shameful, and their reaction is, “Heck no, I’m gay and I’m proud of it. I am who I am, and you have no right to judge me.”

At least, that’s my perception of how they’re reacting – maybe one of them can give a better analysis, first-person instead of my third-person.

Please explain what the OP means by going “public about being gay”.

Maybe that default suggestion is correct.

But that still doesn’t anwser why is their “Gay Day” at Disney and not “Hetero Day” at Disney. Often you hear Gays say they want the same rights as straights. Well then why have a day oc celebration? All days should be celebrated!

I don’t think Disney has an official ‘Gay Day,’ it’s more of an day when a bunch of gays and lesbians decided to get together and all go to Disney Land on the same day. Disney doesn’t sanction it.

It would be just the same as if a bunch of boy scout troops decided to plan a vacation together to Disney Land. Other non-scouts can still go on that day.

There is no “Gay Day” at Disney in terms of there being special day set aside for gay visitors. What happens is that a whole lot of gay people all go to Disney at the same time, and then call it “Gay Day” because they are all there.

That would mean that every day where there’s instead a disproportionately large group of heterosexuals (which, given the familial nature of the park, I would presume is quite often) the hetero equivalent to “Gay Day.”

First of all, I don’t think there is an offical “Gay Day” at Disney, If a bunch of of people that happen to be homosexuals decide to go to Disney on the same day wearing the same shirts oh well. Other than that, everyday at Disney, hell all of the world, is “Hetero Day.”

“Gay Day” at Disney is basically a chance for people who identify as gay to come to the park and not worry about being laughed at/sneered at if they want to hold hands.

I’m curious to know whether Isabelle has a beef with coming out in general or simply with Disney’s Gay Day. For example, do you talk about your significant other at work? Do you ever say, “Hey, that guy’s kinda cute”? If so, then you’re out about your heterosexuality.

Heterosexuals have tons of gatherings where homosexuals are made to feel despised, unwanted, looked-down-upon. Events like Gay Days are our chances to be in a public place without fear. Every other day of the year is Heterosexual Day.

And if you think we overstate the harassment we receive, try walking around in public places while holding hands with a same-sex friend.

Good anwser Polycarp. Thank you for your insights. It made it a little more clear for me.

BTW My friend invited me to go to Gay Day with her at Disney World and I almost went…but one of the kids got sick so I coulnd’t go. I just don’t think Disney should have a Gay Day.

Why not? Especially if you were planning to go yourself? Were you going to bring your kids?

I personally would rather my kids see that being gay can be a healthy thing, a good thing, rather than raise them with the commonplace implication that it should be hidden away, or that it’s something they can’t understand until they’re older.

One of my girls came home from school a couple years ago, and she asked what “gay” meant. Seems that one of her classmates had been using the word disparagingly about something: “That’s sooo gay!” I explained to her that her classmate’s use of the word was incorrect and could be an insult to some people. I told her that “gay” could simply mean “happy” (but obviously not so in this particular case), and that “gay” can also mean that there are two boys who love each other, or two girls who love each other. I asked her if she thought that her classmate meant it very nicely when he used the word “gay,” and she agreed that he wasn’t being nice – he was being mean.

Gay people don’t need to be hidden away from children. I’d say, quite the opposite. It’s making gay behaviors appropriate only in certain contexts that extends the negative view of gay relationships to the next generation, because they only get exposed to the negative context (i.e. “You’re gay!”). I’m glad Disney agreed to host Gay Day. It’s a sign that things are changing for the better.

You ever walk around with your boyfriend? Hold hands? Kiss in public? Rub noses? Share meaningful glances?

Eh, maybe you don’t. But lots of people do . . . and about nobody cares.

Try it with a girlfriend, and you’ll get leers. If I tried it with a boyfriend, I’d get derision.

Every day is a “heterosexual day,” at the House of the Rat as well as most everywhere else. I get to have public displays of affection all the time and no one bats an eye. Everyone should have the same freedom. Being out, being public, and being vocal is the only way to gain that freedom for non-het couples.

Have you considered the possibility that what you call, “going public” others simply refer to as “living their lives?”

I guess I should just say I think we should all be kind to one another and I don’t think there should be any special designated day to be gay.

So, there should be no St Patrick’s Day parade?

**I don’t feel the need to go public.

I sometimes feel the need to stay private.**

THAT is the bothersome part. Do YOU ever feel the need to stay private? Hmm? To hide your heterosexuality?

Why not ask the question “Why don’t heterosexuals hide their sexuality?! Huh?”


Perhaps you could consider the latter a step towards the former… that’s how it’s intended, as I see it.

Everyone being kind to one another would be great, but it doesn’t happen overnight, or without effort.

When a homosexual couple goes public about being a homosexual couple, public reaction is: "Why do gays/lesbians feel the need to be public about being gay?"

When a heterosexual couple goes public about being a heterosexual couple, public reaction is: " :confused: And…?"

See the difference? That’s the reason!