Here you go. According to the description, the kid is being LEGALLY MOLESTED!!
I’ll be flying this December. I plan to actually tell the TSA agents “I consent to a pat down so long as it performed by a female agent- preferably one with thigh high boots and a Russian accent.”
In the past I have-
Gone through security dressed in a clown outfit I made myself
Had to explain that my luggage was moving because I forgot to take the batteries out of a sound-activated crawling zombie hand
Dazzled TSA agents with my Star Wars watch and Gollum ring.