I am endlessly amused by the “People who bought this item also bought…” feature on Amazon.
Often, you’ll see stuff like this.
And this.
Gee, ya think?
But then sometimes, you’ll see one of these.
I’m just sayin’.
If their algorithms give any sort of priority to items placed on the same order (as opposed to a shopper’s total buying history), then I’m sure I’ve been responsible for some “WTF” moments.
Sometimes you need some very different things for very different purposes at the same time. They end up on the same order, and Amazon’s computers assume it’s related. If one of those items is low volume, you may be about the only person who’s ever ordered it along with something else. Given a small enough database to rely on, your strange pairing ends up on someone else’s page as a serious suggestion. And they think “what do dog poop bags and a garlic press have to to with each other?”
One of my favorite combos in the “Frequently bought together” was when I was looking for a digital kitchen scale. The suggested accessories were a box of tiny ziploc bags and a small safe. Uh huh.
“I like to go to Wal-Mart and wander around looking confused. When someone asks me if I need help finding something, I’ll say ‘yeah, I need a jar of mayonnaise, a stopwatch, and a Bible.’”
- paraphrased from Louis CK.
That reminds me of one of my favorite Scylla threads about browsing Wal-Mart for hamsters razor blades and eyebolts.
Another common problem with the algorithms is that if you don’t have much data a single purchase can skew the results. This is a problem for newly introduced or seldom purchased items.
Reminds me of the time my wife tried to buy margarita mix, K-Y jelly and rubber gloves at the same time. For different reasons! Really!
Whoever bought that just wanted to measure how deep to dig their man-sized grave so they can bury someone in up to their neck while they serenade them with a zither while threatening to make their babies into fish sauce in order to force them into a round-the-world race on roller skates for their amusement
I understand the fish sauce and the roller skates - just harmless fun. But once you add the zithe, it starts getting really kinky.
Well of course. Unless I’m . . . . missing . . . . some. . . . thing . . .
fictional edit: Just FYI, I would advise against putting all three items into a google search. 
It occurs to me that my recent orders have been children’s snack bars, a “Go Diego, Go” board book, and a truckload of Victorian porn. Wonder what they’ll make of that.
Ha ha, after I posted the OP, it occurred to me that you’re gonna need a plumb bob, if you’re on roller skates trying to pour fish sauce into your zither.
That stuff is hard to get out of the carpet.
… What?
I know. 
It’s just that the webpage, being a computer program, presents these things with a complete lack of irony. Not sure exactly why, but I find that very funny.
i also enjoy contemplating the possibility, however remote, that it may only be an apparent complete lack of irony.
I got a funny look from a cashier once when my entire order consisted of dog treats, wine, and condoms.
Had I been quicker on my feet, I would have replied to the unspoken comment with “It’s not what you think…I don’t wear condoms when I fuck my dog”
Oh, I don’t know … a smart researcher could probably establish a direct causal link between Victorian pornography and my son’s birth. 
God damn you…now I’m going to have that fricking song stuck in my head again…
“Hamsters, razor blades and eyebolts, everything that’s wonderful is what I feel when we’re together…”
Marge Simpson voice-Homer I don’t know what you have planned but you can count me out!
What messes with me is that often the two items contradict each other. You know, like people who bought this hardcover also buy the softcover. Or people who buy this special edition DVD buy this regular one. And we’ll offer them to you as a bundle!
Thanks a lot.
There was the time I was looking for a garden tiller and one of the suggested items was a book about abortion. I wouldn’t think abortions and tillers would go together, they should not go together.
LOL.
The best sideways glance I got from a cashier was when I was buying a jug of Smirnoff, four giant bags of Halloween candy, and a Justin Bieber singing toothbrush.
I just shook my head and drove off in my windowless van.
Errrr … tea for the tillerman?
(Although a quick googling suggests that it means no such thing, I always took the song title to be referring to Chiron.)
**
Robot Arm: ** No offense! Anyway, geeks are hip now.