Gene Hackman is my new hero!!!

Listen to this:

My sifu (Chinese for Sensei) was taking a squad of us fighters to a tournament in his convertible. Traffic was quite dense and for the longest time there was some loud jackass in a truck behind us, honking his horn and screaming obscenities because we wouldn’t muscle our way through traffic.

Eventually he gets out of his truck and walks up to our car and starts banging on Sifu’s hood, threatening him. We all just kind of stared at him in mute shock. Imagine our Sifu: he has spent thirty years of his life studying the most brutal martial arts known to man with some of the best fighters in the world. And he is absolutely ripped. His body was like crossing Bruce Lee and Ahnold.

We just stared at the guy. Finally, all five of us fighters just kind of rose in our seats so he could read our T-Shirts. The T-shirts read, “JEET KUNE DO” and in a circle below that it read, “PUNCHING, KICKING, GRAPPLING, JOINT LOCKS, KNIVES, STICKS, ELBOWS, KNEES, BITING,EYE GOUGING, SCRATCHING, HAIR PULLING, GROIN SHOTS”

The guy took the time to read us, then kept on yelling and screaming like a maniac. At that point traffic started to move and the guy had to rush back to his vehicle. We lost him at the next light.

It was crazy. Like the guy had a deathwish or something. Sifu just shook his head the entire trip, murmering in disbelief, “Of all the people in this city he could’ve picked a fight with…”

One day after belt testing, a blackbelt invited the entire karate club over to her apartment to watch some TV. A friend of her roommate’s walked into the room. This fellow did not know the common hobby that bonded the large group of peope in the room. He changed the channel abruptly and sheepishly announced, “Well if you don’t like what I want to watch, I’ll fight you for the remote.” Everyone else in the room responded at the same time, “Okay!”