In the opposite vein as the thread about “fucking with the wrong person”, have you ever experienced fucking with the RIGHT person? Here’s my example:
I was at a concert in a different city with my friend and I was wearing my “concert-going pants”, aka Leopard Spotted Spandex Jeans. After the show I was heading to the coat check when some guy standing at the bar SMACKED my ass REALLY REALLY HARD and said “FUCK those pants are sexy, man!” I just stood there for a second in shock because it really f’n hurt. (I’m 5’ 4" and weigh 105 lbs, if that adds to the story at all.) I turned and looked at the guy…and just walked away. What went through my head was the 2 hour drive home ahead of us, the fact that if my (male) friend found out that some guy totally HIT ME he’d freak out and probably pound the guy into the ground and I didn’t want to deal with a bar fight when we were going to be home so late anyway. So I just let it go. I think it would have had a totally different outcome if I’d been in my own city.
That guy was SO LUCKY that he hit me and not someone who would beat the shit of him.
Many years ago I was at a bar and I was standing on a riser near some steps. A server tripped up the steps and spilled an ENTIRE TRAY of drinks ALL OVER me. She was mortified and apologized profusely - lucky for her I lived only two blocks away from the bar at the time so I simply walked home, showered, changed, and went back out. She apologized some more when I got back but I just said “Don’t worry about it. Shit happens. By the way, I’m drinking Mike’s Hard Lemonade tonight.” My friends and I had free drinks for the rest of the evening.
I was the subject of an attempted holdup by a group that included one of my then-clients, who, when he recognized me, said, “Oh, shit, it’s my lawyer!” and the group promptly ran away.
I’ll pretty much chat up anybody that crosses my path, much to the embarrassment of my two teenagers. But, I was chatting up a lady in a store about possibly going to the Renaissance Festival and she said “Hey, I got 3 free tickets from work, but I’m not going to use them. They give us tickets every year, but I never go. Would you like them?”
Heck, yes!
So, I planned to take the three of us. Then, an extra neighborhood kid asked to go with us. I went to pick him up that day and, of course, his mom offered no ticket money or spending money. I was a bit put out by that, but figured ''Well, I got 3 free tickets so I guess I’m still ahead of the game."
Then, standing in line at the fairgrounds gate to buy this spare kid a ticket, I started chatting up the guy in line in front of me. The guy was with a large group and was counting heads and figuring out his own ticket situation when he realized he has one extra ticket and offered it to me for free!
I was a wee bit drunk and way over estimated my fighting abilities. Some guy said something, one thing led to another, and I got in his face, urging him to take the first swing. He woulda killed me. When he didn’t swing at me, I shoved him backwards. He walked away.
Later, a friend of his came over to the people I was with and told us that the guy was fresh out of prison and on parole. Any violation would put him back to finish the sentence he received for nearly killing someone in a fight.
:dubious: Did you ever consider that the story was a bunch of BS and your would-be dance partner just sent someone over to say that to try to save face?
I mean, if it was true, wouldn’t he have, immediately after being shoved, said something to the effect of “You’re lucky I’m on parole”?
Not only that, but it was someone else from his group to come up to you guys and say that later? Instead of he himself after stewing over not being able to knock your teeth in?
IMO, a good chance he just backed down and it took him a while to come up with some way so as to not look like he just turned tail. And even then didn’t want to be the guy to tell the story.
I left a bunch of details out. The guy who came over was pretty freaked out by the whole thing. He told us the details of the guy his friend nearly killed, and it was a big deal locally. Plus, the guy that I sorta provoked was huge. It was crazy for me to provoke him. There were people who thought I was pput up to it to send the guy back.
I was working plain clothes unit in Chicago back in 97 and i walked into Home Run inn pizza… we were already done for the night… and a guy asked me in the bathroom if i wanted some 'snow",…he said he had a bunch and was looking to unload it for the night… i said yeah… signaled my partner tony and we followed him out into the parking lot and made the bust…
Easy… easy easy… the states attorney made me give a written statement because he didn’t believe it went down so fuckin easy…
Ex-cop, broad, strong, imposing – looks like a Viking. Knows some mixed martial arts, etc.
Salt of the earth, but I sure as hell wouldn’t poke him with a feather.
He just told me about a bar fight that broke out last week. Everyone was tanked, but this scrawny guy was actually trying to pick a fight with my friend. There would’ve been blood, lots and lots of blood. It was all my buddy could do to take the higher ground and walk away from it.
