Hello there dopers, this is just a little story about why things are never good for the nice guys in the world…
Last week I was having a drinks with some friends who had come back to university for a graduation ceremony. The night was going very well, a few beers were quaffed and some bad pool played. About 10:45pm one of my other friends wandered in (He was making Oliver Reed seem sober) at this point my other friends decided to go to the casino. I’m not a gambler but was going to go and watch but decided that my drunk friend needed escorting home (Gentlemanly Mistake 1). I turn around to find him gone… Only to re-appear carrying 2 pints and escorting two Finnish women. So having another pint to drink I sit back down and make polite conversation with these random women Cal had picked up. Now they were very nice girls doing a masters course and we all got on quite well after I told them Cal was normally a very rational person when not in the company of 16 pints.
By this pint the staff were trying to get rid of us the place only has an 11pm licence, so one of the Finns lived next door to the pub on the campus the other about half a mile away, so I decide she cant walk alone for simple the reasons that she was sort of pocket size and no women should be out alone at night. When we get to the entrance of her halls Cal decides to invite us in for a drink she agrees to this and off we go. I know it was my fault for going but Cal needed looking after. In the flat she produces a bottle of Rum Ugh she hands me a half-full tumbler with no mixer in sight so down it goes. Cal hides his drink under the table. After a while of this I decide its best I get Cal home while forward motion is still part of his life. But oh no cant be having that! We have to go clubbing, still being the nice gent away we go only for Cal to decide he can go home leaving me and Finn to go clubbing (He left with a nudge nudge wink wink kinda face)
So I get to know this Finn a bit more turns out she is a nice enough girl, thinks England is nasty but if I wasn’t English so would I. My vain attempts to argue the good of my nation are thwarted when she looses her handbag in the club and it appears it was stolen. Super. I know some of the staff so I attempt to get the bag found (Don’t get me wrong I felt really sorry for the girl and wanted to help) The bag didn’t turn up. Oh no we have tears crying women are always a bad sign in my book I try to console her while hiding the fact I wanted to be at home reading a book 4 hours ago. The halls where she lives have 24-hour security so instead of just putting her in a cab I walked her home to explain to the security guards what happened, she is quite drunk and emotional at this point. On the way she nearly got me killed by two MASSIVE guys who thought I had stolen her bag, that was fun. Once into the halls she drags me to her room and phones her brother in Finland to have her cards cancelled (I suggested the bank might be better but was glared at)
Once she has completed the call she makes a move on me I had been drinking but was still sober(ish) so I politely said no as she was drunk and had been crying. Most men I know would have jumped at the chance and jumped her. This girl was quite pretty and making it clear I could ‘stay’ but I held my resolve and went to leave only for tears and a now angry Finn to appear.
I reassure her she is pretty(which she was) and its all my fault, I calm her down and exchange numbers, then I leave. It’s now 4:30am.
Off I go home, only to wake up the morning for my house mate who I have fallen for big time, to ask where I was until 5am and go all quiet and moody on me even when I explained. Now Finnish girl ignores me because she thinks I rejected her.
All that trouble for being a nice guy. But I still insist I did the right thin
Yes you did the right thing, and yes you got the standard reward. I don’t know who said it, but there is truth to the saying that no good deed goes unpunished.
Next time you might want to take a tip from Nike and Just Do It. j/k
A couple of new SDMB friends of mine tell me it’s never wrong to be the “nice guy” and do the right thing. You’re all right, Squirebob, and I’d buy you a pint anytime.
Welcome to our little (sometimes disfunctional, but never boring)family!
Hmmm, if you WERE interested, there is a middle ground between hands-off and going-down. Could you not have stayed there and talked to her? Would a little snog have hurt anyone (doubtful, especially since sober she seems hurt that you didn’t appear interested)? Nothing says you have to get her pants off or your end off.
The tone of that probably comes across wrong, but it’s meant as an honest series of questions.
I wouldn’t have had a choice but to sleep with her she had become rather forcefull by this time and the male business parts have a mind of thier own!, and I am slightly interested i want to see how it goes with my house mate first (Does that sound bad) Thanks for reasuring me that nice guys do get some credit!
Sorry about that, My English has always let me down despite beeing English, and really it is just one of those things I’m not stupid on most counts (3rd year Business Managment student) just grammar and spelling. Sorry about that.
No hard feelings, but the whole lose / loose thing always seems to get my undies in a bunch. Oh and you’re right about your English letting you down, because it’s being and not beeing.
Just kiddin’ you. That could easily be a typo, and I hate people who nitpick typos. This ends the hijack. We now return you to your regularly scheduled programming…
You did indeed do the right thing, and I don’t think you have to worry about having missed anything. From personal experience, I can tell you that having sex with a drunk ain’t no joyride. You’re better off having said no. Good luck with the house mate.
Squirebob, I acknowledge that you were being a nice guy – very considerate. I think that the good we do comes back to us – but not always immediately. Your story was interesting to read.
But if you want to be even nicer, maybe you could rethink such ideas as:
“random women”
“No women should be out alone at night.”
“In the flat she produces a bottle of Rum Ugh she hands me a half-full tumbler with no mixer in sight so down it goes.” (How about “no thanks”?)
“Once into the halls she drags me to her room…” (A “pocket-sized” woman?)
“I wouldn’t have had a choice but to sleep with her she had become rather forcefull.” (Same pocket-sized woman?)
And if I were your housemate, I would be pouting too.
Other than that, welcome! You do seem like a genuinely thoughtful person.
She thinks England is nasty? I disagree. You did the right thing, however. If you didn’t have a thing for your roomate, would you have done things the same way? Did I need to put a comma after roomate? Does anyone care?
Damn right, Quasil (teehee). Bam! Let’s kick it up a notch. Needs more garlic.
Squirebob (I keep wanting to call you “Spongebob”):
A woman of quality always appreciates a gentleman and won’t accept anything less. Keep on doin’ what your doing.
Nice guys don’t lose or finish last; it’s just that good things come to those who wait.
See, this is the problem. You maybe a nice guy but you have no backbone. At that point, you should have insisted that Cal needed to go home. Browbeat him or do whatever is necessary to achieve that. Sometimes, you will need to assert yourself.
j/k
