I'm a rapist!

Or so my town would have my believe. Within ten minutes of walking into a local bar, this tall sexy redheaded girl dressed up as Jessica Rabbit starts flirting with me. I, of course, flirt back and we’re getting very physical very quick. This is the best night ever, I think.

But according to her three large male friends, who took me into a corner and put me under the Spanish Inquisition, she only had two drinks the whole night and the general consensus was that I had slipped her some sort of drug. No less than three girls I hit on later that night told me to go fuck myself for what I had done to their friend.

Jesus fuck, this is horrible. Every person in that bar now thinks I’m a date rapist. Not that it truly matters in the long run, as my costume had some serious eyebrows and 'stache going (I won the costume contest, bork bork bork) and nobody will recognize me out of costume, but fuck. I hate that people think I’m that kind of person. And that there’s no escaping it.

God damnit.

So, what did Ms. Rabbit said about all this? I mean, it would had been as easy as asking her what was going on. Or was she casting accusations too?

Note to myself: grow a mustache and water the eyebrows regularly.

Well there’s your problem, you were dressed as Snidely Whiplash!

You might want to check the url above. This isn’t the “Penthouse Forum.”

Dear Penthouse I didn’t think it could happen to me…

"Within ten minutes of walking into a local bar, this tall sexy redheaded girl dressed up as Jessica Rabbit starts flirting with me. I, of course, flirt back and we’re getting very physical very quick. This is the best night ever, I think.

But according to her three large male friends, who took me into a corner and put me under the Spanish Inquisition, she only had two drinks the whole night and the general consensus was that I had slipped her some sort of drug. No less than three girls I hit on later that night told me to go fuck myself for what I had done to their friend.

Jesus fuck, this is horrible. Every person in that bar now thinks I’m a date rapist. Not that it truly matters in the long run, as my costume had some serious eyebrows and 'stache going (I won the costume contest, bork bork bork) and nobody will recognize me out of costume, but fuck. I hate that people think I’m that kind of person. And that there’s no escaping it.

God damnit."

… and then I came home and masturbated alone with a sock. When come back no one wanted me to bring pie.

He probably stuck his cock in the last one.

I left to go pee, and when I came back she was gone. About an hour later her friends told me she was hanging over a toilet puking her guts out.

Swedish Chef. And I won first place in the costume contest with it. :smiley:

And the worst part is you wasted a perfectly good “roofie.”

Ahah, so that’s why people thought you’d slipped her something.

Still pretty dumb.

Huh. Probably was one of her “large male friends” that had slipped her the roofie, and when you came in and got to some reciprocal flirting with “Jessica” they got pissed off because you were cockblocking their presumptive gang-bang. So that’s what you get for cockblocking gang rapists!

How would you (theoretically) have had time to slip something in her drink? Sounds like it happened really fast.

I hope when you won that contest they didn’t announce your actual name. You may not be as anonymous as you think.

Well, I did have a third of the bar chanting CHEF! CHEF! CHEF! CHEF! when I was up for nomination. Uh oh, looks like I’d better get the heck out of dodge.

What’s really hilarious is the thought of the Swedish Chef as a rapist. I know date rape isn’t actually funny, but the fact that half the bar was imagining the Swedish Chef trying to slip Jessica Rabbit a roofie and get her in bed kind of makes my day. :slight_smile: Bork bork!

Sorry to hear it happened to you, though. It sucks when someone assumes the worst of you when you really didn’t do anything bad at all.

:smiley: The exact same thought was running through my mind. I thought it was hilarious.

bork bork bork!

I’ve been in somewhat the same position as you describe (very different circumstances though). Some guys like to prove their toughness by imagining a slight against a girl in their group and vigorously defending her. I wouldn’t be surprised if one of them wiped the puke off of her and tried to take her home himself.

You must’ve had some mojo bigger and badder than a mere ‘roofie’ for Jessica Rabbit to overlook that get-up. Unless some chicks really dig on the Swedish Chef?

Oh and… how dare you soil the purity of the Swedish Chef’s name by borking some rabbit?

Nice.

nevermind

Just what would happen to someone if they had taken a roofie?

I poots tha roofie in yuoor drink. Thet is my secret tu greet porties. Bork, bork, bork!