I went to the grocery store bright and early this morning for some turkey bacon and toaster waffles, because it was that kind of day.
The grocery store has undertaken some massive structural changes, and consequently on either side of the entrance there were cordoned-off area with guys in hard hats and heavy gloves welding I-beams – lots of bright sparks flying, and that smell of hot metal – really exciting, to me.
But you see, they were welding. Welding.On a Tuesday.
I looked around wildly, but there was no one at all in the parking lot old enough to get the joke.
Good actress! I’m not quite fifty-nine, so I get it!
I felt old when I made a joke to a young delivery guy, bringing stock to our cafe. You can come up the elevator to the first floor without a security card, but to go back down to the loading dock you need one. So I said “You can check in any time you like/ but you can never leave.” He didn’t understand the joke.
It was several years ago we stopped in a Roy Rogers. My husband “joked” (I use the term loosely) about a Trigger-burger or a Sons of the Pioneers special. The youngster behind the counter had no idea.
Aw man, okay, now I have to tell one of my favorite jokes:
Roy Rogers has a brand spankin new pair of awesome cowboy boots. Really stylin’ high-class boots. When evening comes, he left them out on the porch to air out, and went to bed.
The next day, he finds to his dismay that the boots have been mauled and mangled by a local mountain lion. (Maybe it was the alligator hide that provoked him.)
Roy Rogers is pissed. He is just hopping mad. He tells Dale that nothing will do, but that he goes out and shoots that danged mountain lion.
He’s gone all day without a word. Just as the sun is sinking behind the far-off hills, Dale, sitting on the porch, sees him coming from a long way off, with a mountain lion tied to the back of his saddle.
When he gets up to the house, Dale says: (actually you sing this part)
“Pardon me Roy, is that the cat who chewed your new shoes?”
P.S. Yes, I know. Roy Rogers, Ginger Rogers, completely different situations, not connected at all. But I’m sure somebody has said it to some hapless employee.
You listened to John-boy and Billy this morning too? (That was the first time I ever heard that joke, sorry if I spoiled your fun).
My moment came a couple of years ago when I had to explain to a twenty year old that the Chucks she had just purchased were what NBA players (hence the name) used to wear.
