Genie Wish #1-$100,000,000!!

[Enright3]

I’m surprised no one has said they’d bury it in the desert; and then buy a lottery ticket using the GPS coordinates as the numbers.

[Czarcasm]

@bleach

You may want to step up your deposits because it would take you over 4000 years to get it all deposited (assuming that that is the ultimate goal).

If you deposited $1000 per day, it would still take you around 270 years to get it all deposited.

Perhaps a better alternative would be for you to open your own community bank.

Please see Wish thread #2.

[Onomatopoeia]

@XT

I think a sudden appearance of $100 million in cash would kill you…literally. That’s got to be one hell of a pile of cash. Assuming it doesn’t kill you, then it’s going to quickly be gone in any case because it’s going to be a huge pile of cash. Unless it’s somewhere no one goes to and only you know about you are screwed. Best bet is to take as much of it as you can carry and bugger off, then use the cash slowly over time for all cash transactions.

Oh, and kick yourself for being such an idiot and wasting a wish on this stupid shit and in this silly way.

@panaccione

Not necessarily. Apparently, this is what a 100 million dollars looks like. I imagine you could haul that away in a pick-up truck or two.

Now, what to do? Keep it, obviously. And live worry free the rest of my life. I don’t need to go out and buy extravagant houses or cars to be happy.

@XT

Oh…well, that’s not so bad then. I was picturing a mountain of cash suddenly appearing and crushing the unwise wisher to death.

Wait a sec, guys…

It all depends on the denomination of the bills. If the photo in the link is of $100,000,000 then those are probably stacks of 50s and 20s.

A stack of 100 dollar bills totalling $100,000 is approximately 10 inches thick, so each stack of $100,000 would be 10 in. (depth) x 6.14 in. (length) X 2.61 in. (width), or 160 cubic inches for every $100,000. 1000 stacks of $100,000 would $100,000,000, or 160 cubic inches x 1000, or 160,000 cubic inches, or a little over 92 cubic feet, or a single block of cash with the dimensions: 4.5 feet high, 4.5 feet deep, and 4.5 feet wide. Quite manageable in the bed of your average pick-up truck.

[Labrador_Deceiver]

I live in a world where genies exist. I’d just tell the IRS that one of them gave me the money.

[bleach]

@Czarcasm

Please see Wish thread #2.

Oops! I withdraw my nitpick!

[Annie-Xmas]

I would just use it to live on. Rent a really nice place, do whatever I wanted to do, buy whatever I wanted to buy, and always pay cash.

[Labrador_Deceiver]

@Annie-Xmas

I would just use it to live on. Rent a really nice place, do whatever I wanted to do, buy whatever I wanted to buy, and always pay cash.

And hope to hell you don’t get audited.

[thelurkinghorror]

CTRs are routine, and some people have to do them daily, with no peep from the IRS. An SAR due to you being shady, on the other hand, could go to the IRS or other departments easily.

Gifts over $14,000 are taxable, just by the giver. I see that in some cases the recipient might offer to pay the tax. Maybe you could find someone who can plausibly gift lots of money, and claim they gave it to you, without actually exchanging any money? With their cooperation, of course.

For safety, I’d use some of it (or my own money) to get enough safe deposit boxes to store it. As shown in links above, I’d need a few large ones, but the money isn’t that big.

Slowly launder the money: start gambling for higher stakes, more than the rare $5 table/penny or nickel slots. Take meticulous records of losses, claim them on Schedule A in the spring. I don’t think I’d go too crazy here, I don’t enjoy gambling that much.

Launder through a business. The car wash sounds like a great idea! (Disclaimer: I am not caught up with the current season of BB to know if it’s still a good idea or if it ends in fireballs). In general, if I assume they’re not marked, I’d pad my income just a little. $50,000 a year sounds nice. In many places, paying lots of cash for a new car is suspicious, so I wouldn’t get anything ridiculous.

Finally, turn it all into $1 bills and Money Fight!

[Folacin]

@DrDeth

It’s a gift, it’s non-taxable. Trying to hide or conceal it, bringing it slowly in would likely be considered Money Laundering.

Just bring it to the bank, deposit it. If the IRS has questions, hire a really good tax attorney.

But anything else shows intent and likely would get you at least a structuring charge.

“leaving the country immediately and denounce citizenship to avoid paying” wouldn’t work legally.

So I’m going to spend my money on an attorney to prove this is a gift? I can live with that.

We can’t alter the wish, but is the Federal Reserve going to recognize these as legitimate notes?

[Driver8]

@Folacin

We can’t alter the wish, but is the Federal Reserve going to recognize these as legitimate notes?

That’s my concern too. Everybody is talking about the IRS, but I don’t think that is the problem. Even if you declare the cash and pay all the taxes, claiming that a genie created the cash and gave it to you is a confession to being involved in a counterfeiting operation.

[YogSothoth]

@Driver8

Well, let us explore that a bit. What does it mean to create a pile of cash? Isn’t this just a case of creating really, really good counterfeit notes? Do the bills have previously unused serial numbers? Or will there now be duplicate serial numbers out in the wild?

Either way, what happens when you try deposit this? Does the bank attempt to verify that the cash is authentic? Will they check serial numbers with the Federal Reserve, who will tell them something like “uh, we never printed that” or “uh, we sent that to Bank X, who told us it is still sitting in their vault”. Would that be enough to get a counterfeiting charge or conviction, despite there being no evidence of an actual counterfeiting operation? Is it realistic to expect you’d end up keeping this cash, after the Federal Reserve shows it either didn’t print it or they are duplicates?

So many questions! My head hurts, trying to reconcile this crash of magic against reality!

Accepting the premise that this money is legal and the genie is supernatural, these would either be non-counterfeit cash of existing currency, in which case indistinguishable from the real thing and not a forgery, or have randomized serial numbers that doesn’t exist yet but are also completely legal tender. I’d probably just stipulate to the genie that this money has to be legal in all ways, both for me to use and how it was created

[Czarcasm]

@YogSosoth

Accepting the premise that this money is legal and the genie is supernatural, these would either be non-counterfeit cash of existing currency, in which case indistinguishable from the real thing and not a forgery, or have randomized serial numbers that doesn’t exist yet but are also completely legal tender. I’d probably just stipulate to the genie that this money has to be legal in all ways, both for me to use and how it was created

He’s not an evil genie. In another thread he threw in perfect health for free when the wish was immortality. The money is good.

[silenus]

If it helps, think of the money as being from the $6 billion that vanished in Iraq.

[DMark]

Buy 100,000,000 lottery tickets and hope to hell it pays off.

I guarantee you, with my luck I would be lucky to win back $30.

[stui_magpie]

Take it home, pack it away and start buying everything with cash. Might take a while but once large bits are converted to assets, you sell and start moving the money through accounts.

[Clothahump]

I would opt to receive the money from a legal source, such as winning the Powerball or something. That way, there are no questions asked. After the taxes are paid, I’d clear about $50 mil, and I could invest that and live happily on the proceeds.

[Lightnin]

I like the plan of just depositing it and saying that a genie gave me the money- and let them try to prove me wrong. The money can’t be seized just because they don’t believe you- I’d think they’d have to prove that the money came from somewhere illegal to justify seizure. Of course, I’d also hire the best damn tax attorney available.

This is assuming, of course, that the cash is completely real and legal tender, with valid serial numbers. Otherwise… well, at least you’d never have to worry about keeping your house warm in the winter, what with all that free cash to burn.

[Czarcasm]

@Lightnin

I like the plan of just depositing it and saying that a genie gave me the money- and let them try to prove me wrong. The money can’t be seized just because they don’t believe you- I’d think they’d have to prove that the money came from somewhere illegal to justify seizure. Of course, I’d also hire the best damn tax attorney available.

At which point the bank and/or the government grabs the money and says “Oops! I guess the genie took the money back.”
Try to prove them wrong.

[Rushgeekgirl]

I’d give most of it away anonymously, only saving enough to live comfortably, pretty much like I do now only with more money for car repairs and medical bills. I’d only tell one person, my oldest daughter, and we’d work out a cunning plan together.

[Czarcasm]

@Rushgeekgirl

I’d give most of it away anonymously, only saving enough to live comfortably, pretty much like I do now only with more money for car repairs and medical bills. I’d only tell one person, my oldest daughter, and we’d work out a cunning plan together.

[Baldrick]How cunning?[/Baldrick]