So here’s how it goes. There are certain genres or subjects that universally seem to make terrible films/shows. Kind of like the opposite of how it’s hard find a bad gangster or heist film. But then every now and again, you do have an exception that disproves the rule.
For example:
Genre: **Film about Mars. **
Examples: Red Planet, Mission to Mars, Ghosts of Mars, John Carter (of Mars)
Critically Acclaimed Exception: The Martian
Fun Exception: Total Recall (original)
Genre: Biblical apocalypse / Book of Revelations films
Examples: Legion, Prince of Darkness, End of Days, Constantine, Lost Souls, The Seventh Sign, Dogma, The Prophecy series (except maybe the original), any incarnation of Left Behind
Critically Acclaimed Exception: The Leftovers (HBO series)
Fun Exception: This is the End. Also possibly the original Prophecy film, thanks to Christopher Walken
Political dramas. The novels can be gripping, but unless the movie ends with an armed rebeliion and lots of shooting, you’re doomed to watching scene after scene of two or three people talking, with long stretches of exposition.
Not to pick on you, but that’s a ridiculous criticism. Of course you knew Titanic was going to sink. And if you didn’t, the filmmakers told you that in the first 5 minutes of the film… and in fact, precisely how it was going to sink, in forensic detail.
The main suspense of Titanic is not “what’s going to happen to this boat”, it’s “what’s going to happen to these two characters”, and the fact that we know Titanic is going to sink makes that story more interesting, because it’s hanging like a doom over everything that happens on the ship.
In addition, the fact that we know these are real events makes the gripping visual spectacle all the more compelling, while at the same time making us feel slightly voyeuristic and guilty for enjoying it.
“Serious” Science Fiction. Anything based on a story by Heinlin, Asimov, or any other classic sci-fi author. They simply do not translate well to a movie format, at least not without a complete rewrite.
And before someone mentions it, no 2001: A Space Odyssey is not an exeption. It’s boring as hell, despite the fact that the major plot line involves a psychotic computer, and if you’re not familiar with the source material you won’t have the slightest clue what the ending means.
I know that’s the fashionable opinion to have. But when the movie first came out, before it became TITANIC, before everyone got really really sick of Leo for a while (before realizing that he and Kate Winslet were two of the finest actors of their generation), before it won all the academy awards and the backlash started, it received incredibly critical acclaim.
For instance, here’s the original review from the New York Times, a publication not noticed for its lowbrow tastes.
I mean, if you didn’t like it, hey, you didn’t like it. Whatevs. But that’s not what you originally claimed.
I was gonna say, Mortal Kombat for the fun exception. Could try and squeeze Wreck-it Ralph for a critically acclaimed exception, though it’s not based on any pre-existing franchise.