This may be covered under some sort of Jewish law or tradition, hence it is here, because I’d like a factual answer. On the other hand, it might be more a matter of opinion and/or debatable, in which case maybe it will wind up in IMHO.
Jewish people (of all sorts), what is view of gentiles lighting menorahs?
OK, that’s the short and simple bit, you can stop reading here if you don’t care for continued rambling.
In my home growing up, given that dad’s half of the family were Jewish, we usually had a menorah during Chanukah because my parents wanted us to have some experience and familiarity with our heritage (for similar reasons we also celebrated Catholic holidays to some degree). This was done complete with the prescribed prayers in Hebrew which, oddly enough, were usually done by my formerly Catholic mother (then again, how good a Jew was dad if he married out of the faith, right? Then there was his addiction to ham and swiss sandwiches, apparently extending back to his early teens when he’d sneak away from home for that forbidden taste at the local diner)
I also see non-Jewish politicians participating in public menorah lighting to one degree or another, although it does seem a Jewish person does the actual lighting.
Anyhoo, I’ve inherited a number of menorahs from various deceased family members. Every year around Chanukah I think about getting candles and doing the lighting, however, I prefer not to do things others would find offensive when it involves religious symbols and rituals.
How do Jews feel about gentiles lighting menorahs?
Would adding the prescribed prayers make this more or less OK?
Would our Jewish members prefer I keep the menorahs as mementos of deceased relatives and not light them?
Does it not matter, since I’m not Jewish and if choose to light candles without the Jewish ceremony it doesn’t count either way?
I doubt any would have a problem with it. The menorah is a commemoration ceremony. Lighting it, you are commemorating.
My own view as a Jew is that the “meaning of Chanukah” is one of resistance to tyranny, which is really universal and applies to Jews and non-Jews alike; just like the “meaning of Passover” is one of resistance to slavery (and empathy for others, because your ancestors were once slaves themselves). Taking part in the rituals just means you, too, wish to remember and reaffirm resistance to tyranny with lights - and how could that be offensive?
I’m an atheist living with two practicing Jews (my wife and adopted son). We put out three chanukiot for Chanukah, and each of us light one. One year, she was really sick for a couple of the nights (like, bedridden sick with some awful stomach bug), and I even led the prayers.
We occasionally had one when I was a kid. My parents were both atheists. My dad had grown up Protestant or Presbyterian (not sure the difference). My mom grew up Jewish. We lived in a mostly Jewish neighborhood.
We had a tree every year, and santa brought gifts. But maybe 50% of the years my mom would do the menorah ritual and say the prayer. I remember one year my brother began singing “Happy Birthday” and everyone cracked up.
If I was at a friend’s house I just stood quietly while they lit that evenings candles.
Nobody much cares. There may be some issues with gentiles participating in ritual somewhere in the mass of Judaic law, but it’s not that kind of religion generally. If it’s good for Jews to do then there shouldn’t be any reason to stop non-Jews from doing it. The restrictions I can think of are based on gender and age, not religion.
Another vote for no problem with non-Jews lighting with or without prayers.
Of course realize that Chanukah is in fact a very minor holiday. The historical part of it was a war that was fought, not so much against tyranny (as the Hasmoneans/Macabbees were pretty damn nasty tyrants themselves*, and their incompetent rule was what destroyed the Hebrew kingdom for good) but for the ability to maintain an identity in the face of an overwhelming “other.” Obviously the way to honor it is to elevate into a gift giving bonanza so that Jewish kids can better fit in!
Enjoy the connection to your family history, light the family mementos, eat some fried food! You gotta have some latkes (which beat out Hamentoshen every time). Gotta love us some winter solstice celebrations!
*Oh things like: “… had his mother starved to death and to further cement his rule, he threw three of his brothers in prison. One, a close confidant of his, remained free, but eventually Aristobulus grew suspicious of him too and had him killed. … During one Sukkot holiday, as he was officiating the libation of water as a part of his duties as high priest, Alexander poured water on his feet instead of on the altar as tradition dictated. The shocked crowd pelted him with etrogim. In response he had the whole crowd - according to Josephus, over 6,000 men - put to death. …”
Another vote for no problem. We’re not that exclusive a club. I don’t recall ever being asked for my Jewish membership card back when I went to Temple, even for important holidays.
I light candles but mostly because my menorah is the one from my childhood, and I like to keep it in continuous use these 60 years or so.
My older daughter lights one and she isn’t even officially Jewish.
If a gentile wanted to go to services during Yom Kippur and fast and say all those prayers of atonement, I doubt anyone would object so long as there was room. I’d find it odd, but not offensive.
My wife, the retired catholic, lights it up every year for some reason. I think she just likes the candles and the season. No harm, no foul. I don’t care if Jews put up Christmas trees, either.
Speaking generally, non-Jews are just people who haven’t realized they should be Jews. It might be seen by some as no different than a child lighting a candle. And in this case in particular we are just talking about lighting candles, the candle is significant, the lighting not so much. And it’s not really you lighting the candle anyway, the janitor does that, you’re just holding him.
We didn’t go to services, but I did observe the Yom Kippur fast with a Jewish friend of mine one year. He promised we would also celebrate Purim together, but for one reason or another, we didn’t manage that.
As an Orthodox Jew, I have no problem with anyone lighting a menorah, as long as they understand what the menorah is for. I’d hate to see it done as a “generic winter” symbol as the Christmas tree seems to have become to many Americans.