First, how important is your Jewish heritage to you?
It gave me a wonderfully warm childhood with lots of rituals which I enjoyed - like Friday night shabat. I am an atheist, but the god side of Judaism was never a big part of my family. As my parents families were involved in WWI, my mother’s side badly treated in Poland and surrounds, it is hard not to feel strongly about persecution and an allegiance to those who were persecuted. My mother lived with life long depression, linked to her family’s experiences in the war. But it was an incredibly warm childhood - no violence of any kind - no discipline by smacking or punishment, only very high expectations. So I still feel Jewish although I consider religion to be the world’s greatest divider of people and cause of evil.
**What, if any, distinctly Jewish activities/holidays/groups do you participate in? **
Only those associated with family who are still involved in the religion. I always feel very comfortable in the Synagogue and love the sounds of the rituals.
Would you ask a rabbi for advice?
More so than a priest or other religion, because rabbis (theoretically) are more like us - expected to be married and fallible. My mother used to tell me often that rabbis could be sacked, and hence were answerable to the community. So I would rate their advice a little above other religious leaders. But I would be much more likely to go to someone more pragmatic.
Would you date/marry a gentile?
I have and did. My brother did so before me, and so broke the ice for my parents. But their main interest was in my happiness, so they judged my husband on his value as a human, not on his religion (a bitter ex-Catholic, bashed at school by the Christian Brothers, who he will never forgive). My father always said that if I got it wrong and there was a god, then He would be more interested in the life I had led and how I had treated others than whether I praised him a heap.
Have you been to Israel?
No, but then I haven’t been to most of the world. I am not much of a traveler, although I have need to travel now and in the future for research for my books. But if I went, it wouldn’t be because I am (sort of) Jewish. I would struggle, however, to go to somewhere which is highly anti-semitic, even though my passport says no religion and my married name is Catholic in origin, so I wouldn’t be identified as Jewish. I would still feel very uncomfortable.