Basic courtesy is very important to me, and is (nowadays) a deeply ingrained behavior pattern.
It’s hard to realize how important manners are until you have to deal with someone who has none. I used to work for a woman who never (to me, she could be polite to people she considered her equals or better) said please, thank you or sorry. It sounds like such a tiny thing, but it’s really not when you have to interact with someone like that everyday.
It’s very important to me.
Also, it was *very firmly *impressed upon me as a small child that basic courtesy is of the utmost importance. Very firmly. Repeatedly, in fact.
I don’t always succeed, but I do make it a point to try to be in the habit of being as courteous as possible in public and professional arenas. I have bad days, too, after all.
I routinely stop patronizing business establishments where courtesy is not a priority. My husband and I have the following conversation at least once or twice a year.
“Let’s go to Establishment X for some Y!”
“Oh hell no - those guys are rude as hell/jackasses!”
Miss Manners lured me in when I was about 13 with her wit and the politeness just rubbed off, so while I suspect my inherent nature is as uncivilized as any child, by now the politeness is ingrained (My sweet, kind, polite parents probably had something to do with it too, but Miss Manners definitely carried more weight with the teenage carlotta.)
I prefer that other people be polite and cheerful with me, but it doesn’t really upset me if they aren’t. I pretty much regard other people’s rudeness and outrageousness as fodder for anecdotes.
But I really encounter very little rudeness, because I am so nice and polite I like to think. And I did work in retail and waiting tables for years, with very little rudeness coming my way.
I really like knowing you try hard to be polite in real life Skald. And that you seek ways to use the word “jack-diggly”
You realize I have to try hard is that my inclination is to be a jerk, right?
Yeah, I get that. That’s why I’m sincere in my admiration for you. (and I really do like the word jack-diggly and will probably be shoehorning it into my conversation as often as possible in the next few days)
I am extremely polite, and to boot, I could care less if folks are polite to me. My mom gets all bent out of shape if someone ‘slights’ her in any way…not saying hello, not holding the door. I always think, “Who cares??”
I loved to read Miss Manners when I was little, and I took to heart her core message. Real manners comes from true class…a feeling of goodwill toward others from the soul. All of the rules and regulations of manners are for those that don’t have that kind of soul…yet. Practicing good manners may help them along. And for those that do have a good soul…that trumps the ‘rules’ of manners. You get to make ‘executive decisions’.
If you could also use the words vexatious, irksome, and clodhopper, that’d be great.
I’ve said thank you to a cop after he gave me a ticket.
ETA- Nice post, Nzinga.
I’ve said this more than once before.
When people behave really badly towards others, especially if it is someone who is trying to help you, it is only a testament to their own shitty lives.
Habit, maybe? My folks were big on manners, so when they realized both little brother and I spoke early and clearly, they made it their mission to drill “please” and “thank you” into us by the age of eighteen months. I don’t recall ever being prompted with the classic “What do you say?” and I know they never needed to remind my brother to say thank you past the age of two, either. In fact, my brother’s teacher sent a letter home to our parents when he was six, telling them that he was the most polite kid she’d ever taught!
Anyway, being polite to strangers is pretty much automatic. It’s the people I know, specifically the ones who annoy me, that I have to make an effort to be polite to.
I expect basic manners of others as well, but I’m often disappointed.
I had it “caned into me” as well, but working at a grocery store in high school made me sympathetic to customer service types for life because I dealt with every sort of asshole customer at that job. Bitter, spiteful people who take out their frustration and failure on poorly paid workers who have nowhere to run do not impress me. I’ve actually yelled at people while out shopping and stuck up for the employee because they were being dickheads for no reason.
IMHO, good manners are important and very underrated, so rude behavior does irritate me. Giving the offender an incredulous stare causes some of these folks to stop and reflect on what they’re doing, but the rest are beyond help.
I feel a certain sense of “noblesse oblige,” in that ‘privilege entails to responsibility.’ Even when by all accounts I was underprivileged (was not, just frugal parentals) I felt much better off than many peers and literal fictional folks. How can it hurt you to be kind, if you are not losing anything? It should be easy to be kind.
That all said, I feel like Skald most of the time. I work in customer service to some of (what I believe) are the most ‘entitled’ customers anywhere. I really like helping people, but I find it difficult to take the time to distain shitty interactions with anyone, servant, friend, or superior.
My boss tends to remark that I really don’t understand who’s in charge here…
I try to be very polite. But “try” is a trying word. I usually succeed, but I feel terrible when I lose it.
I’m usually polite.
I try to be as polite as possible, both working with my coworkers & the public. It doesn’t really bother me if someone is not overly polite - nobody has to make small talk, and they can be all business, that’s no big deal - but it does bug me when people are actively rude, above and beyond just being businesslike. For example, cutting in line, insulting another person, or actively behaving impatiently. I have been practicing, as another poster said above, getting nicer as they get ruder. Unfortunately I think some people start to perceive that as sarcasm. Then they get angrier. Heh.
I have to say what really impresses me is when little kids are polite. I was going to get a snack out of a vending machine the other day. A little boy was about to put his money in, saw me waiting, and said “Oh, go ahead!” I smiled and let him go, and as he left he said - not kidding - “I hope you have a good day!” 
Polite by nature and preference. Being cheery and nice comes naturally to me. But I also learned as a child that I’m a terrible judge of character, so many people I at first disliked turned out to be great people (and vice versa). So I made a deliberate choice to always like and be nice to the people I meet at first, until it is proven otherwise.
I do have a deliberate policy of not being a doormat, though. Many people have learned to their surprise that just because I’m nice to you in general, if you cross the line I have a vicious temper and no fear of bitching them out for being an asshole. Or depending on the situation (such as a collegue at work) still being polite but digging my heels in and being unmovable on an issue. I still surprise close family with that sometimes.
Vital. I do think less of people who are rude without reason, and will avoid businesses that are rude. I go out of my own way to be polite to people.
This does make people think I am weak, and I used to be - but these days I can be pushed so far and then no further, and I am cultivating the art of the pleasant “No”.
I agree with StarsApart who says that civility and politeness aren’t necessarily the same. I don’t need you to be extra special nice to me. I do want you to be civil to me at all times - why would I talk to you if you plan to be rude?
I don’t always remember to be polite, but I try. I wish it were natural, but mine comes from parental terror. And too many kids these days have parents who let them run wild.
Back in college, I knew some people who disdained formal courtesies. They fancied that they were Speaking Truth to Power. Mostly they were just being jerks.
America is not a country where the peasants have to be polite to the aristocrats, but the aristocrats can be rude to the peasants. We have to be polite to everyone, just in case. I think I am a genius, and Billy-Bob is a moron. Billy-Bob thinks he is a genius, and I am a moron. But the hallmark of a gentleman is to be gracious to one’s inferiors. As long as Billy-Bob and I are polite to each other, we can each enjoy our illusions, in peace and harmony.
I’m with everyone who uses the “polite to the wait staff, etc” rule. I’ve found over the years that is one of the easiest ways to start judging someone’s character.
I’m polite both in nature and training. Manners were one of the first things I remember being drilled in my head as a child, by parents and extended family members.
I do phone support and it makes the day much less stressful to just be nice and not escalate when faced with denseness or rudeness. Besides, it makes my co-workers giggle during the times when I’m sweet and they can tell I’m about 3 seconds from going through the phone and choking someone.
I also stage manage and being nice / polite works ever so good and makes the times that I have to kick bootay even more surprising / remembered.
Good looks and a nice suit get you in the door.
Knowing your stuff and having good manners, gets you the job.