Geology puns - help me out

Ah well. Chalk this thread up to experience.

Praseodymium and pass the ammonites.

Geology is a profession often taken for granite.

Too late for ETA…

These fossils are ten million and fourteen years old.

(Wait for question about how you know the exact age.)

When I started here I was told they were ten million years old and that was fourteen years ago.

(Adjust numbers as needed of course.)

What did the geologist golfer say after he hit the iron?

Ore!

God willing.

You guys rock! This is why I love the Straight Dope.

When you pass around samples, be sure to ask the class to return them when they are done. I used to know a geologist who did presentations like this until the time when he handed around metamorphic samples and lost his marble.

OK I simply HAD to buy this shirt.

Another t-shirt/bumper sticker: Geologists never have to stalk their quarry.

Don’t step in the schist!

Earthquakes swarm through no fault of their own.

I keep all my core samples in separate buildings to keep them from being contaminated. I have a shed made out of wood for the shale. I needed something sturdier to hold the basalt so it’s built like a brick schist house.

Like birds, dinosaurs would swallow small rocks to help their stomachs grind up food. They had to be careful what kind of rock to use so they didn’t eat schist and die.

We spent all day mapping fault lines, but it ended up being anticline-actic.

Reunite Gondwanaland!!!

sing:

Near a glacier you stand,
You see rocks mixed with sand,
That’s a moraine!

I remember a high school teacher in the 1990’s saying something to the effect that “You can take this rock for granite. You can’t take this rock for granite, because it’s limestone.”

What do you call a can of soda/pop found in a conglomerate?

Coca-Cola Clastic

I must use this line the next time my pirate character gets stoned.

Geologists do it with petrified wood.