Geology puns - help me out

I’m an amateur geologist who sometimes gives presentations to kids. They love it - lightning glass, dinosaur poo, volcanoes etc… Only now I’m after some ideas to make them think and then groan - Puns of course.

Remember that these are for kiddies so be gneiss:D

It’s not gneiss to not give a schist?

Studying volcanoes can be tuff-

That’s all I have on my slate right now.

Why it’s sedimentary, my dear Watson

Is that clear thing a rock? Of Quartz it is!
Don’t stop digging until you’re done, because a mine is a terrible thing to waste.

This is weird. Just today a facebook status of mine has randomly triggered a bunch of geology puns.

So far we have something about ‘taking things for granite’, and then a remark on that being the ‘limest pun ever’.

My sediments exactly.

“I’m a geologist; I’ll make your bedrock.”
“tuff schist”
“San Andreas is not my fault.”
“Bring more Geology to Missouri–subduct Kansas.”
“Paleologists…helping geologists look cool since 1822.”
“Did you hear about the unethical glaciologist having his hand in the till?”
“Pyrites of the Caribbean”
“Geologists have their faults.”
“Schist happens.”
“Tell her to have a gneiss day.”
“Whatever you do, don’t take him for granite.”
“May the quartz be with you!”


These are gold, Jerry.

Don’t take schist for granite.

When studying geology, one needs to start with a clean slate.

If you don’t learn something about glaciation, it’d be a tarn shame. Cirque and ye shall find.

The mayor of Pompeii met an igneous defeat, as should be apparent to any geologist worth his basalt.

I realized I was getting old when a geologist dated me.

Once you drift to geology puns you know you have hit rock bottom.

Well, maybe, but then again, geology rocks!

My dad is a geologist and a punster. I must save this thread for when I must undermine his authority. He will sulphur greatly.

If you hit someone with a rock, is that basalt and battery?

As long as he doesn’t think you’re trying to pick a quarry with him.

Bumper sticker: Geologists never pick their friends

Porn name: Rock Hammer

Fulgurites, coprolites, pahoehoe and aa. Jagged aa is the one that were you to walk barefoot on it you’d say “Ah ah ah ah…” Tell them about gastroliths too, stomach acid-etched round stones dinosaurs swallowed to aid with digestion much like how dove and some other birds eat gravel to help with theirs.

Kids, eh? The youngest on top is a superposition! When’s the best time to buy bullets? On ammonite!