German Soccer Stars vs. Vibrator

[Tapioca_Dextrin]

Ballack And Kahn* Get Dildo Settlement

Rather than a bizarre village made out of sex aids presented by a loopy fan, the title refers to the fact that both players have received an out-of-court settlement from a German sex shop chain… Beate Uhse AG, Europe’s largest sex shop business according to the hairy-palmed statisticians that record such facts, has pulled out of a sticky situation involving both footballers

Both Michael Ballack and Oliver Kahn will receive 50,000 Euros apiece from Beate Uhse in compensation for – no kidding – selling vibrators named after both at the World Cup. Beate Uhse spokeswoman Assia Tschernookoff spoke from Flensburg, Germany, confirming that the Michael B. and Oli K. models have been withdrawn after the bad vibes reached the board and courtrooms.

[Hilarity_N.Suze]

@Tapioca Dextrin

Ballack And Kahn* Get Dildo Settlement

This has gotta be from something like the German version of The Onion, right?

The names!

Beate Uhsig
Assia Tschernookoff

from Flensburg!

(Okay, after those first two names Flensburg seemed funny, too.)

[Lumpy]

Why did they demand the vibrators be removed from the market instead of just asking for royalties?

[Zoe]

Good question, Lumpy. I expect an ensuing
probe.