Get 100 mpg in your car now!

Just saw ad ad for this product on teevee.

From the FAQ page:

Translation: If we posted the information on the website, we wouldn’t get your eight bucks for shipping and handling.

2006? Not working out for you, eh?

Translation: No, we don’t have any references. No positive ones, anyway. We don’t want you to hear from the rubes that spent a hectobuck on our scam.

Translation: We could have answered with a simple yes or no. Instead we’ve given you a lot of mumbo-jumbo that has already been disproven on Mythbusters without actually answering in the affirmative or negative.

Translation: Yes. However we didn’t say that the ‘research and vehicles’ used The Gas Advance System, did we? Some vehicles that already get 100+ miles per gallon may get 100+ mpg with TGAS, or they may not. YMMV.

Translation: Listen we’ve already told you we don’t want any witnesses! Just give us your money.

Translation: Chemical whaaa…? Our system works, OK? Trust us. And give us your money.

Translation: Sure, you can send us some extra cash. But you don’t need to because we ship quickly. See? We’re already saving you money!

Translation: No auto parts store, reputable or otherwise, will carry our snakeoi… system.

Translation: … And for separating fools from their money.

You know what this means, Johnny L.A.? I might as well delete you from my master sucker list. And I have all this swampland I need to unload. {sigh}

You would think after all this time they would come up with a new spin on this scam. Ionization and using magnets to align the atoms is the same old BS from the '70s.

Notice that they didn’t just place the reactor rod in the fuel line, they “strategically” placed in the the fuel line. See, the key to this technology is knowing where to place the reactor rod and only they know this secret.

Wow, what’s interesting is how they are keeping this super system secret from all the major auto manufacturers.

I’m gonna buy two of 'em and 200 mpg!!

They couldn’t scrounge up the $7.95, I guess.

Someone should tell the good folks at Monster Cable about this. It’s a natural product line for them:

NEW Monster-brand fuel lines! With our fuel lines, your engine will feel more capacious, with smoother response, wider-feeling torque curve, and with a more well-developed throttle response. You will feel the difference every time you press the accelerator! Only $89.95 per foot. And look! It’s a pretty blue color, with gold-plated connectors on each end. How high-tech is THAT?

Oooh, something for the kids who bought plans for a working laser pistol out of the back of a comic book to get excited about now that they are adults.


I like this idea. It’s totally marketable. You could put a set of electrical connectors (gold plated, of course) in the middle of the line and then sell Monster Cables to connect to the battery. The current feeds an inductor coil though which the fuel passes, which causes the hydrogen-carbon bonds to start breaking down, thus causing the fuel to mix more completely with the air, thus causing a more complete combustion …

We could sell different colors for the different grades of gasoline.

Just as well that this is a cropper. I didn’t really want 100 Mutant Pygmy Gnomes in my car anyway. . . .

Damn union rules…

Pfft! Monster Cable is sooooooo not where it’s at! There’s a company out there which sells cabling for home stereo units for $14K! See, their connectors are mil-spec and cost $500 each! And gold plated connectors? Yeah, they’re pretty and all, but what you really want are depleted uranium ones! :smiley: Pair 'em with some polonium spark plugs and you can easily add a kilobuck or two to the price! :smiley:

Gas Advance, a subsidiary of Steorn :smiley:

… HEY!


(In my defense, I did get a bit suspicious when the package arrived and the ‘lasing crystal’ was a red plastic disk that you put in front of the ‘photon source’ – a flashlight. Sigh.)

Add a couple of gas saving dvices out of a JC Whitney catalog, and you will have to stop and pump your tank out every week or so.

They’re called ‘Keds’. You put them on, get behind the car & push. :smiley:

BUT WAIT, they’ll thrown in a second if you call in the NEXT TEN MINUTES! Operators are standing by!

Isn’t my bicycle a sport utility vehicle?