DRY:
URBANUS TIBI, SICCI, VIDERIS. NON ES, CREDE MIHI. QUID ERGO? VERNA ES. You fancy yourself a colosseum of wit, DRY. I don’t think so. What do I think? You’re a pigsty. Martial, Epigrams I.41
Vestal Blue, here goes:
QUOD SICCA REDOLET PALUS LACUNA, PISCINAE VETUS AURA QUOD MARINAE, QUOD PRESSA PIGE HIRCUS IN CAPELLA, LASSI VARDAICUS QUOD EVOCATI, MAESTRORUM QUOD ANHELITUS REORUM, QUOD VULPIS FUGA, VIPERAE CUBILE, MALLEM QUAM QUOD OLES OLERE, VESTA. The stink emanating from the brackish swamp, or the antediluvian stench of a salt-water pond, or a musty old goat panting over his nanny, or the old boot of a dog-tired ex-soldier, or the halitosis of miserable defendents on the dock, or the sputtering oil lamp of perverted Leda, or a fox in flight, or a viper’s lair, I’d rather smell any of these, Vestal, than smell of you. Martial, Epigrams IV.4
TradeSilicon:
NON TAM LATERA ECFUTUTA PANDAS, NI TU QUID FACIAS INEPTIARUM. You wouldn’t look this clapped-out if you hadn’t been up to no good! Catullus, Poem 6
Iampunha:
QUID AGAS, CUM DIRA ET FOEDIOR OMNI CRIMINE PERSONA EST? What can you do when the man himself is more foul and filthy than any slander you can sling at him? Juvenal, Satire 4
Nen, nice to see you followed my request to make your gender obvious if I didn’t know you ;):
TU LICET ET MANIBUS BLANDIS ET VOCIBUS INSTES TE CONTRA FACIES IMPERIOSA TUA EST. You can make as many sorties as you like with your seductive hands and your flattering words, but your face will always remain your own worst enemy. Martial, Epigrams VI.23
Minxmom:
TIBI FLAGRANS AMOR ET LIBIDO, QUAE SOLET MATRES FURIARE EQUORUM, SAEVIET CIRCA IECUR ULCEROSUM. Carnality and concupisence, out of control and wild as mares in heat, shall carouse about your fevered organs!
For John Rocker and the entire Braves organization I have strung together insults from a number of sources:
DEMENS! FEROX RAPTOR! MALUS ULTOR! LUTULENTE! ES BARBARUS! Psycho! Predator! Evil nemesis! Dirtbag! You are a barbarian! (Now, how would I say “Go White Sox?” 
)
Swiddles, please, no specific requests. I don’t speak Latin; I am copying it from a book. May I refer you to MATT_MCL? As for you, gee, you’ve always been so kind to me. I feel terrible saying:
PRIMA HOMINIS FACIES ET PULCHRO PECTORE VIRGO PUBE TENUS, POSTREMA IMMANI CORPORE PISTRIX, DELPHINUM CAUDAS UTERO COMMISA LUPORUM. She has a human face and the body of a lovely young girl, until below the waist; but under that she’s a sea serpent of monstrous proportions, with a dolphin’s tail joined to a wolfish womb. Virgil, Aeneid III
Silent Bob, it’s hard to get mad at somebody who says nothing, but:
NIL BENE CUM FACIAS, FACIAS TAMEN OMNIA BELLE, VIS DICAM QUID SIS? MAGNUS ES ARDALIO. {i]You do nothing well. But everything you do, you do in style. How should we describe you? You are just a big piece of fluff. Martial, Epigrams II.7*
Ssskuggiii, by interesting I assume you mean something a little less run-of-the-mill? Try this:
COLLIGE SARCINULAS ET EXI. IAM GRAVIS ES NOBIS, ET SAEPE EMUNGERIS. EXI OCIUS. PROPERA, SICCO VENIT ALTERA NASO. Pack your bags and get out! You’re just a millstone to me now, and you never stop blowing your nose! Scram, and step on it! There’s another woman coming, and her nose is dry! Juvenal, Satire 6
Demo:
NON (ITA ME DI AMENT) QUICQUAM REFERRE PUTAVI, UTRUMNE OS AN CULUM OLFACEREM DEMOCRITO. NILO MUNDIUS HOC, NILOQUE IMMUNDIOR ILLE, VERUM ETIAM CULUS MUNDIOR ET MELIOR: NAME SINE DENTIBUS EST. God help me, I didn’t think there was much in it: whether I sniffed Democritus’ mouth or his rear end. The former is no fresher, the latter is no fouler. But, come to think of it, his rear end is much fresher and finer: because at least it has no teeth. Catullus, Poem 97
That’s as many as I can make time for. Buy the book if you want more. Learn Latin and you can make up your own.
In closing, I humbly offer this as a motto for The Pit:
QUI GRAVIS ES NIMIUM, POTES HINC IAM, LECTOR, ABIRE QUO LIBET. If you are likely to be the really persnickety type of reader, do you mind leaving now? Just head in the direction of absolutely anywhere else. Martial, Epigrams XI.16
