Gah! TWICE today I’ve had to deal with motor vehicles on the goddamn sidewalk right where I have to walk, and I’m fucking sick of it!
The first time I’m walking quietly along in front of the Leacock building when this big van swerves in front of me, right onto the sidewalk alongside the building. There wasn’t enough space to walk around it on the sidewalk so I was forced onto the road, where it should have been! Now this Nobel laureate didn’t seem to be responding to an emergency or loading or unloading a disabled person, so I can only conclude that he was being a total inconsiderate motherfucking piece of shit!
Having walked around this prize specimen, I continued my route towards the Birks building, when suddenly AUGH there comes a fucking leaf blower truck behind me! I’m totally trapped against a fence! ¿¡Jesús y María, hombre, qué madre estás haciendo!?
So after roaring up behind me on the fucking sidewalk in a motor vehicle and trapping me and scaring the living shit out of me, this guy slows down long enough to let me run away, and gives me this little “don’t worry, it’s OK” wave. NO IT’S NOT OK, YOU ASS, YOU’VE JUST GIVEN ME A PANIC ATTACK! You do not get to FORGIVE me for being a pedestrian on a sidewalk in front of your motorized ass, you prick!
Gaaaahhhh! This sonofabitch literally gave me a classic panic attack - shaky hands, fits of rage (as witness), inability to concentrate - I barely heard one thing the TA said in my phonology conference - and it’s all because I have the temerity to use my campus sidewalks for their intended purpose - that would be WALKING, rather than DRIVING ON THEM PLAYING HUNT-THE-PEDESTRIAN!
It’s not enough that the entire city is designed expressly for your benefit, IS IT? It’s not enough that you motherfucking sonsabitching pieces of horseshit have access to SIX-METRE-WIDE STRETCHES OF PAVEMENT EXPRESSLY FOR YOUR USE, IS IT? I have this one little metre-wide path where it’s supposed to be safe for me to walk and you have to TAKE THAT UP TOO?
DRIVE OFF THE FUCKING CHAMPLAIN BRIDGE, YOU MOTHERFUCKERS! THE SIDEWALK IS FOR WALKING!!!
[sub]…calm blue ocean. calm blue ocean. calm blue ocean. calm blue ocean. …[/sub]