There’s also the problem of people looking in one direction while walking in another–they zoom in on me if I’m carrying coffee.
I now just stop and snap my fingers or (if possible) clap my hands near their ears to wake them up.
Lots of startled looks on that one.
Bucky
I don’t often contribute to the pit, but this is one of my all time great pet peeves. I occasionally go running. I live in a city. This means I must run on the sidewalks sometimes. I really love it when there are three people walking side-by-side on a sidewalk and they do not move out of my way. The thing that is most mind-boggling is that I am not particularly quiet when I run. I can’t imagine that they cannot hear my footfalls and heavy breathing in time to open up a space. I have noticed that this is just part of a general unawareness of one’s surroundings that seems to afflict a vast majority of the population of this country. Open your damn eyes and ears and pay attention, damn it.
TheDude
You all are weak. I just kill the poor saps who get in MY way. But I’m sure, even in death they’ll just mull around talking and create a bottleneck at the pearly gates.
Pooch: You must not have travelled to Denmark. Everything is ordered, organized, lawful and on time.
Picture a crosswalk with signal “Don’t Walk”. No one walks!
I mean, even if there’s no traffic for 1.3 miles in either directions, they’ll just stand there like sheep next to an open fence! I was scorned because I was the only one to cross. Every once in a while, I’d corrupt a Dane or two into crossing with me, but boy, did they look around like the gestapo was watching and might arrest them on the spot.
Hell is Other People.
In Germany I was called a crazy american for crossing an intersection diagonally. It was mabye 6 AM and there was no traffic around anywhere.
Of course, I did it on purpose because there were those barriers that prevented you from crossing except at the stripes.
The wack thing about Germans is that, as rigid as they are about obeying the walk/don’t walk signs (I read an interview with a jazz musician who had lived in Munich for 20 years before moving to Brussels, and who decribed the German mentality thusly: “At the street corners, they watch the signs, not the cars. A sign will never run you over.” Apt.), they have absolutely no cultural conditioning whatever about line etiquette. I have stood in long lines and watched as more than half of the people casually drift along until they are much farther forward than they deserve to be. This makes my blood boil, but, since my own cultural conditioning includes a stern stricture against making others look bad, stewing in self-righteous silence is my only option.
My own pet peeve is when I’m out with a stroller downtown. I am hell on wheels with this thing, and move along at least as quickly as without it, but inevitably I find myself behind idiots walking along in such a way that three of them can block a 20-foot-wide space. With the stroller, it’s hard to maneuver around people without the risk of knocking them over, and I am far enough behind that a cough doesn’t catch their attention. I would love to have an airhorn attached to the handle to get across the message that perhaps SOMEONE ELSE could possibly be allowed to share the city with them. Begging their kind permission, of course. Twits.
I’m currently working on a porcupine-hide coat. Once they’re ready, I’ll be selling them for a mere $79.95, plus postage. Orders?
All right, everyone, this is how you dislocate someone’s arm at the shoulder, pay attention. Grab their arm at the wrist and just above the elbow. Then force their arm to bend 90 degrees (in the regular direction). Then hold the elbow in place while moving the wrist as far around it as possible. When you hear the pop and the scream, you’re done. They will then get out of your way.
Why is it people who would never consider parking on a freeway on- or off-ramp park their lazy asses in doorways, hallways, escalators, etc?
My technique is the foot-stomp. I’ve been told I do this unconsciously in malls and other such places when I bring up against a slow-ass moron oblivious to her (more frequently her than his) surroundings.