This is exactly my solution. It often gets you the most wonderful looks, too, from these people who are annoyed that they actually have to, you know, change course! It is quite comical because you know they want to say something, but how can they complain about someone who is standing still not getting out of the way?
Although I recall one occasion years and years ago in college where some girl actually did walk right into me. This, however, was one of those cases where someone honestly was paying absolutely no attention to the world around her. She had this most absurd confused look on her face, then continued on her way without saying a word.
The people walking in front of you that just stop suddenly are the ones I want to bash over the skull with a blunt object.
The best is when you’re walking in crowds and the dingbats just stop at a certain place that won’t allow you to walk around them (think big crowd of people coming to your left and a wall to your right) then get so engrossed in conversation they don’t hear your polite “excuse me”, forcing you to yell “EXCUSE ME!” and tap them on the shoulder. Then they will inevitably look at you like they can’t believe anyone would be as rude as to yell at them for no reason in public.
Right on par with forgetting to give “the wave.”
The other day, I opened the door for a women following me into the mailroom at work. Didn’t even say thank you. I said “you’re welcome!” anyway. She ignored me.
I feel your pain, but I was secretly hoping you were addressing this to those bitches that get off the elevator and hold a fucking MEETING six inches from the doors. They need to die. Ditto on those jerks who do the same thing on the other side of a revolving door. Fuckers.
Lately, that’s my favorite thing to do for some reason. I figure if they don’t know the words ‘thank you’, they’ll at least learn about ‘you’re welcome!’. Even better if it’s said in a cheerful, happy tone.
Of course, thanks to my raging hormones, it’s not often said in a cheerful, happy tone. And I have a feeling my son’s first words are going to be “You stupid fucker!” after hearing those exact words many times in utero for nine months.
Reminded me about when I was driving my toddler somewhere, waiting behind someone to make a left turn, and my little kid said "Put your foot on the accelerator and PUSH!"
Apparently picked up from dearest mommy.
She laughed about that one more than the day my pre-school son offered up that he “met a policeman today.”
When? When mommy was driving.
Oh yes? What did the nice policeman say? “You gotta slow down, lady!”
I know!!! I don’t know why it pisses me off so much, but it does. I always end up yelling a Nick Burns style “you’re welcome!” Of course, they can’t hear me, but it makes me think of Jimmy Fallon and then I’m happy again.
As bad as that is there´s something even more excruciatingly obnoxious, people that simply block the way standing there like cataleptic lightposts.
It happens quite frequently at some bottlenecks here, for example there´s a kiosk on the path I take for work everyday that leaves a space of less than 2 meters between the front and a wall; most people just make a frigging cue from the kiosk up to the wall, effectively blocking all traffic… hello McFly!!! don´t you see that there´s no place to walk in this sideWALK with you planted there… geez
I swear some days I´d like to bring a machete with me.
I’ve been attending a seminar this week at Georgia Tech, & have encountered this. The three of them are enjoying their company; callow, oblivious youth.
I’ve taken to whistling “Troika” (either Prokoviev’s Lieutenant Kije or Stravinsky’s Pretrouchka version) just as I come up behind them.
Not only do I cop smugness points for their being self-absorbed kids, I also get to gloat over arts-ignorant engineering students who, if they recognized the tune, should be insulted.
The other day, I had a guy on the freeway trying to nudge his way in front of me. Now wait, let’s set the scene, these are the L.A. freeways we’re talking about. We are not known for being nice, and especially not on the freeway, especially not when it’s rush hour and the entire universe (which of course, is all on the 110 northbound at the same time as me) is moving at the pace of an African slug.
He’s really trying to assert a position in front of me, so I honk and pull up as absolutely close to the next car as I can to ensure that he doesn’t get that position. (I do let people in sometimes, but I had already let in my quota)
He gives me this* look* like I had just murdered his entire family, and spat on their corpses. It was a truly exquisite show of human revulsion. It really brightened my day. (no I mean this, I still can’t help but smile when I picture that image)
It was like he just expected me to let him in! Hmmph, the entitlement some people feel! The entitlement!
I’ve never battled traffic quite like that, but I get pissed if people don’t let me in. I put my signal on in plenty of time and I try to be courteous, but some people (women, mostly) just act like they can’t let one little car in front of them.
I guess that fight depends on what side you’re on at the moment, huh? lol.
I blame it on school speed zones, crossing guards and the red flashing school bus lights. Kids have been taught that they have the right of way and you must yield to them. What do you think will happen when those kids grow up?
A single person can usually figure out how to get off of an elevator. Two people have more trouble with the concept. To three people, it’s a bit of a puzzle, and to four people it’s the most baffling mystery in the universe. The mystery is geometrically increased if the people are wearing suits.
I like to think that I stopped being a self-absorbed kid years ago, and I’m decidedly not an arts-ignorant engineering student, but I don’t know what the “Troika” tune is.
Oh, no. You guys missed the single worst offenders of the lot.
Those individuals who, for reasons known only to themselves and Og, come to the top of a busy, crowded staircase and abruptly come to a dead stop and look around with a confused look on their little faces. Then, when the accumulated mass of humanity behind them bumps into them as a result of their abrupt stop, they have the nuts to look offended that they were touched.
This happens every single day in Penn Station on the stairs coming up from the tracks. It’s not like they pause for an instant to get their bearings and then continue on - oh, no. They stop like they’ve suddenly decided to spend the rest of their days in that one location, pondering the vagaries of mankind’s existence.
I haven’t yet figured out what their precise mental malfunction is, but when I do, I believe I’ll start a foundation designed to eliminate it for all time.
How about the person who walks slowly down a sidewalk, and when you try to pass him, he just happens drift into your path. If you choose a different path, he’ll drift into that one as well. One could almost imagine that he’s very clever in planning this, if he didn’t have the dull expression of a cow.
