Get Rich Quick

The BBQ Pit
1

For those of you for whom success and wealth has become as illusive as most multi-syllabic words for GWB, here is a man, Napoleon Hill who claims that all you need to do (You silly gits!) is Think & Grow Rich.

Now you may ask, “How long might I have to think? I’m a busy person and I don’t have a lot of time to spend just contemplating wealth.” Well, for those not in a terrible rush it should only take one year to achieve a lifetime of rewards.

“Yes, but I haven’t got a year”, you say, “My attention span is already limited to the time it takes to load a porn page using DSL.” Well, with a few cut corners and time saving tricks you can find ultimate success in a short sixteen lessons.

But wait, still too pressed for time? How about we dispense with all the filler and give you all the bare bones info in just ten lessons and good ol’ Napoleon will even throw in some health tips.

I bet you are saying to yourself about now, “That’s all good and fine but I probably have to sell my soul to get all this in such a short time and I’ve already sold that twice. Once to avoid that breathalizer test when I got stopped for speeding and then again just to get into the pants of that hottie at the bar in my senior year at college.” No problem here. You can keep all those commitments because all you’ll need to learn are these 17 principals which, let’s face it, you desperately lack. Now doesn’t that give you peace of mind.

Oh and just in case you thought you needed some kind of skills or tallent to achieve all this success (ha!), it turns out that all you really need is the right attitude.

Just think, all this valuable information in just a few tomes of wisdome by the kind hearted Napoleon Hill.

(I wonder how Mr. Hill achieved his wealth?)

P.S. Oh, in case African Americans think they were once again excluded from these gems of wisdom normally reserved for the privaledged white class, Mr. Hill was kind enough to provide you with a black book of your own.

2

Am I the only one amused at a thread called “Get Rich Quick” started by a poster named QuickSilver?

Yeah, I thought so. I guess I have a low threshold of amusement.

3

:smiley:

4

How about laugh and grow fat?

5

I loved a skit Mike Meyers did on SNL as a get rich quick pitchman. He is asked “Is this a get-rich-quick scheme?” Meyers responds “Of course! Who wants to get rich slow?”

Here is my favorite anti-scam site
http://www.worldwidescam.com/index2002.htm

6

During my second full time job out of College I had this manager who really and truly went insane.

He loved Think and Grow Rich

For four months he made us come in an hour early and listen to this on a like 20 cassette unabridged version he had. He’d let it play for a few minutes, and then add his commentary.

He’d do this 'till about 10:30 a.m. relating it to our business.

We’d work then till noon, come back from lunch at one, and listen to the tape and his commentary 'till about two-thirty or three. Then we’d work for an hour, and he’d send us home an hour early at four.

For some reason he latched onto me as his protege, and gave me a raise for helping him manage. Then he tried to cut everybody’s salary in half because he had personal problems and needed more money. When I mentioned that I had a contract and that getting fifteen percent raise immediately followed by a fifty percent wasn’t going to fly with me he attempted to explain that once we’d adopted the The Think and Grow Rich system and his implementation of it for our business, we’d all be making more money than ever.

When I still balked, he mentioned that I didn’t have the right attitude and was endangering my career, and that perhaps I had not learned the lessons of Napolean Hill, after all, and don’t really deserve my assistant managership.

I then mentioned that the other employees had come to me en masse and asked me to speak to him about it, because they were all on commission and getting pretty sick of having their time wasted, and a pay cut to line his pockets was going to send everybody out the door.

He decided to leave it on hold for a while, saying that maybe we hadn’t gotten far enough into the tapes to understand how he was really helping us with this.

Senior management got wind of this, and apparently had a talk with him, and he stormed out.

The next day he called me up and wanted me to steal some sensitive (and expensive,) items from the office that he claimed were his, but weren’t, as well as copy some company information from his work computer for him.

He mentioned that he was in "direct contact’ with the ghost of Napolean Hill, and that this was all ok, and that he knew he could trust me, and I would understand.

I told him I wasn’t comfortable with that, and he got mad, and hung up.

About a week later he called me again wanting me to quit and come join him on some mad scheme or other. I told him not to call me anymore and hung up.

He called back the next day and said we got disconnected. I said I’d hung up on him and was about to do so again, and not to bother me ever again.

He never did.

And, I never learned what became of the fruitcake.
This whole thing came back in a new for with the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People

I’m amazed by how much money can be made encouraging people to think positive, set systematic goals, and be organized.

7

I’m writing a book called, “Think and use [ /b ]”.

It’s dedicated to Scylla.

8

I’ve responded here:

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=82817

9

Boo hoo. Cry me a river, boldboy.

10

And if you can’t see that my tongue was planted firmly-in-cheek, boldilocks, then foo on you :slight_smile:

11

Does it involve buying Real Estate at two-thirds below market rate because it’s being auctioned by the Government after being reposessed from people who did not pay their taxes or sold drugs and then renting it out and using the extra income to buy yet more Real Estate at three-fourths below the market rate and turning that into a cash cow and then using that extra income to buy your way into a cable market as yet untapped and then leveraging your cable holdings to place ad in newspapers for a fraction of the cost (takes a breath) and all wothout a downpayment and with no credit? 'Cause if that’s what it is it’s been done.

On the other hand, if it involves selling products to your friends, and getting then to get their mother to buy it and sell it to her sister and everyone on her bingo class, it may be worth looking at!

12

I guess I get to be the first one to draw the connection to the “Think System” from the Broadway show The Music Man.

[sub]I apologize to everyone who now has “Gary, Indiana” stuck in their heads.[/sub]

13

I read Think and Grow Rich, and applied the principles therein to my weight-loss attempt. In the morning and at night, I recited a small mantra to convince my subconscious mind that I would, in fact, lose weight. I lost 60 pounds.

Oh yeah, I also ran four miles a day, ate right, and took a prescribed stimulant. But that had nothing to do with the weight loss. It was all about Napoleon Hill.