It’s fucking ridiculous. F-U-C-K-I-N-G. R-I-D-I-C-U-L-O-U-S.
You can’t handle a members-only function? WTF? If it was subject to guest/bot abuses, I’d understand, but this simply isn’t something that should be difficult, at all.
… I am wondering if it still necessary.
A lot of forums have similar functions, though. 2 minutes is long – 30 seconds is more the norm. But then, the searching here may not be optimized for maximum speed.
I believe more frequent searches would really really improve the board performance.
Every time I need to perform a search, it takes me at least 2 or 3 times to narrow down what I’m looking for. And each time, I bite into the head of a small puppy. Such is the intensity of my annoyance.
Kill the search buffer. Save Puppies.
Your searches are causing page unavailable errors… causing me to bite into the head of a small kitten.
Without time to rest, every search will kill 6-7 hamsters. Using a complicated moral calculus invented for the purpose, Jerry conclusively proved that the value a hamsters life is exactly one third that of a puppy life. Hence the 120 sec wait time.
ETA: of course, killing a cat is a good thing, and so if Lobsang can up his kitten kill count to 1.5 per every page unavailable message, it will in fact be more morally optimal to abolish the wait between searches.
I suspect much of the strain on the search enging is caused by Dopers constantly hitting New Posts to see what’s fresh and freaky, and just incidentally, who might have responded to a posting of their own.
There are more pleasant ways to kill kittens. But not with your pants on.
When will the violence end?!
squirts some ketchup on 1 puppy, 2 kittens, and 5 or 6 hamsters
120 seconds? Two minutes? Not for searches but between searches?! Good Lord, Arky, how impatient are you?
Do you throw a pop tart in the toaster and think, “I KNEW I should have used the microwave!”
Deal with it, man. If this bugs you then you do too damn many searches far too frequently.
Dude, try to keep your dick in your pants. Two minutes bothers you?
I’ll bet your wife is more frustrated than you are…
Sorry it irks you if I can think of two things to search for in the span of 120 seconds.
This issue is just one of many TPTB can’t be arsed to do anything about other than come up with 1980s “solutions”.
If that makes you get all huffy with me, you’re the ones with the problem.
So can I. And I have. But, however… I can open another window, look at another thread, stand up and walk to the bathroom to take a piss…
Make a pop-tart…
And you pit this!!!
As long as the kitten isn’t directly involved! :eek:
Yeah! What Monkey With a Gun and jtgain said! Don’t let the doorknob hit you if you don’t like it, Mr An “Wants computers to be fast” Arky!
It ain’t about “wanting computers to be fast”. It’s about common damn sense. We have all bitched when the threads don’t load in a timely manner. I have been on this board for six years and I remember when it was a Hell of a lot worse. I have lost so many damn well written posts in the past to connection time outs that I do NOT appreciate an idiot like An Arky tieing up the servers with incessant searches.
Honestly, if you want to search that much and quickly, you search too much. Surf a bit. You might find you like broadening what you look at.
Well, I remember worse things too but it really boils down to wanting computers to be fast. It seems that the search problems could be mostly fixed with a software upgrade and a little extra setup but that is too much trouble for the Reader. Especially when they’ve got customers like you blaming the other customers for the slow service.
CarnalK, I wish everything was perfect too. I wish that the Chicago Reader and Creative Loafing had so much money that they could upgrade everything to the exact specifications of our neediest Dopers.
You want to bankroll that?
I also want a Jet Pack.
And a pony.
I want a jet pack for a pony.
Dear CarnalK I have been vewy vewy good all yeer and I would like a Bugatti Veyron and a Manson and an iphone and a pool table and a boat and a plane and a airport.