Get the Hell out of my way, lard-ass! (lame)

This is a pitting of all those people who are so important and world-changing that they will stop in the middle of a busy corridor and just stand there, expecting everybody to just go around them while they contemplate the nature of the Universe.

I just got back from Comic-Con, where 75,000 “ComicBook Guys” waddle around in a near-catatonic daze. There is barely enough room for people to get through the aisles as it is, but when these behemouths stop in the middle of the aisle to stare, things come to a complete stop.

Look, if you want to drool over something, GET THE FUCK OUT OF THE MIDDLE OF THE AISLE!! And while you are at it, put the fucking phone away! Most of you can barely navigate with your whole brain focused on the task…add talking on the phone to the equation and you are helpless.

Oh, and take a bath.


I’m with you. For some reason, the narrow corridors in my cube-maze are the preferred meeting spot for our sales guys. The people piss me off even more than the guys who take the last of the coffee without making a new pot.

Have you ever been to Costco?

I swear, one day I’m going in there with a cattle prod.

Yeah…get the hell out of my way too all you lard asses!

This seems to happen everywhere, from offices to shopping. I suspect it’s really due to obliviousness and stupidity, rather than self-importance though. The most annoying ones are families with gaggles of children that must walk in the driving lanes of parking structures. Not only do they prevent other pedestrians from walking to their destination, but the trap the cars too, further exacerbating the unbearable task of looking for a damn parking space - and you know there’s a million spaces at the top!!!

resumes frantic walking, while muttering to herself

How about the groups of three or more that walk abreast (settle down perverts, I mean side by side). They always adjust to the slowest one of the group.

Uh huh, uh huh. I started a thread similar to this one back when my name was Satyricon, and back when I was but a guest. I think I called it “People who stand around like cattle”. They never do learn, do they…

And yep, Costco is especially bad for that kind of thing. The cattle prod is a good idea, and maybe a few linebackers who just pile drive their way through everyone would be funny to see, too…

Normally I’d be right there with you silenus, (Lord knows I love to Grrrr! at the Oblivions), but I’m just too busy drooling at the fact that you were at the Comic-Con.

Although, having been to a few cons, I can sympathize with your “take a bath” comment. How do you fanboys expect to ever see a pair of actual real breasts if you smell like that?

::wonders how many dopers charged in here ready to rip silenus a new one until they found out the lard-asses he was talking about were male comic book geeks::

Overweight, unwashed men? At a comic book convention??


How do you say “Never gonna get laid” in Klingon? :wink:

ghobe’ be’ DichDaq jatlh Daq jIH

Best I could do…“No woman will speak to me”


was The Urban Scythe. I really want to knife through the clueless bastards with a huge, curved blade, leaving a trail of bloody corpses in my wake. Alas, it was not to be.

Why not? Dare to succeed!

One webcomic artist has actually printed up and handed out flyers and bars of soap (in the shape of his Mr. Personality mascot, basically a frownie face) at cons. He says “There were some mixed feelings about this from the con-goers, but then again most radical ideas were met with confusion and fear. Integration. Women’s rights. In time, I’m sure washing will be accepted by the con-goers. I just hope it’s in my lifetime.”

Something Positive is a very funny comic, but it is NOT work safe, nor is it for people under 18.