Slip, we’ve been hearing about his marriage for years, now. It requires no psychic abilities. Euty has been quite forthcoming about the problems. They don’t seem to me big enough to bust up a family. It is simply wrong to do so because it has turned into a “passionless blah.” They aren’t nineteen any more and they have to think about their children.
Grim, often one cannot speak plainly here without being told you “aren’t being supportive.”
{{Euty}}
This can’t be easy, buddy. You know we’re always ge here for you.
Says you. I think Euty’s more qualified to make that judgment call himself, in this case - and it looks like he has, they have.
Personally, I’d rather see a divorce carried out in mutual conscent and respect, than an unhappy marriage kept alive “because of the children”.
Children do not benefit from unhappy parents.
Then the parents need to find a way to be reasonably happy. You know–make the best of it. Be grownups. Divorce, even an amicable one, is a terrible thing to do to ones children.
Sorry folks, I feel you are wrong to be all supportive of Euty at this point. He is making a stupid mistake and thinking far too much of himself and his imagined happiness.
The admins may feel free to ban me.
1 : There is a reason that I said that this was strictly informative.
2 : There is also a reason I didn’t open this thread in Great Debates.
Thank you.
I’m not debating. I am stating my opinion.
I don’t think a person ever got banned for voicing an opinion, dropzone.
Having said that, it is obvious that Euty just wanted to share, and wasn’t particularly looking for advice. Therefore, whether you think he’s making a mistake or not isn’t really all that relevant. You can’t completely look into someone’s life because of a few posts. This is a very private decision that can only be made by Eutychus and his wife.
Should you ever be in such circumstances (which I hope you won’t), the time to put your own values to practice has come. That time is not now, however.
And, crap, Euty beat me to it. Oh well. 
Euty, most of us are here for you.
As always, if there is ever anything I can say or do for you, my e-mail, IM, heart and mind are here for you. I find you to be a stunning example of a good man and father and hope you see that as clearly as I do.
As a child of a “passion-less” marriage turned into divorce, I sort of feel the need to weigh in on this one.
Euty if you think divorce is the right thing for both you and your spouse, I say go for it! Staying togeather for the children does far more damage than a divorce. Like it or not, children base thier idea of what is “normal” in relationships on the one that they see most closely (namely thier parents). Staying togeather in a unfulfilling or unpleasant situation can only give them a bad example.
When my parents divorced, it was very hard for a year (I think I was 12 or 13?). Then I saw that they were both far happier, far more fulfilled (not to mention a whole lot more fun to be around) when they were not togeather. They were civil to each other, made arrangements for major holidays, and treated myself and by brother equally. Divorce was the best thing that ever happened to my parents, and made my relationship with them better as well.
My only suggestion (and remember, unsolicited advice is worth what you pay for it 
) is to try to maintian as civil (if not friendly) a relationship with your ex as possible. It sets a good example, and makes life much easier on your children.
Good luck to you!
The hardest part in something like this is admiting that you both are heading different directions. Accepting this information is a tough one, but, I bet, when all is said and done, that you will wonder why you didn’t take the courage to take the initiate sooner because even though it is a very cold cruel scary world out there - albeit alone - you will always have a connection to each other via your child. You will probably find yourselves becoming better friends after the divorce.
Best of luck and take it one moment at a time.
eutychus, i know this is a very difficult decision for you and your wife. i hope that things go as easily and smoothly as possible. y’all will be in my thoughts and prayers.
Just checking in as another person raised in the context of a marriage kept together for the children. We were much happier after the divorce.
More importantly, it is noboby’s business to criticize this decision. No one outside a marriage knows what it is like on the inside.
((Euty))
Euty I know this is one tough decision to make. Whatever the reasons, whatever the circumstances, you know more than any of us why this is something that has to be. Just know that I am one more doper that supports you in this decision. I wish for you the best. I wish this for both of you and whoever else is personally affected by this. Please keep us informed on how things are going. I hope the both of you can remain as amicable as possible. This is not an easy decision to make, so just know that there are people out there to help you through this next stage of your life.
And then there are the children who consider giving their parents divorce papers for Christmas. (I was this close, but figured they wouldn’t wrap well.)
Parents are best when they are happy, healthy, and the kids know that they are loved. Being in an environment where the parents are constantly on edge is not a good family. Having two parents who don’t live together but love their children is a better one.
Too late. Been there, worked it out (for now). As the Alkies say, “One day at a time.”
I’m being an asshole and I apologize for it.
But I betcha never thought I held a strong opinion about anything consequential. Or had any values to spout off about like I was some strongly religious person or something.