I had hinted a while back on the board that it looked like I might be going through a divorce sometime soon. Robin and I finally got honest with each other last night and agreed that the marriage has pretty well run it’s course. We haven’t gotten into the detail-working out stage yet, but it seems to be a preferable option than living with the passionless blah that we have now. And I know that there is someone else she’s interested in. It sounds strange, but if someone else is going to make her truly happy then I think that’s what she should go for. God knows that we’ve not been able to make each other happy for the last five or six years.
So, we’re still deciding, but it looks as if that’s the road we’re on.
I’m rambling now because I’m a little scared. I’m not making any assumptions about the future anymore. I’m afraid of doors that may be closing and doors that may be opening. And I truly don’t know how to feel about the situation right now, so I’ll keep this as just informative and leave the navel-gazing for later.
If you need someone to ramble on to let me know. I’m a good listener even if I’m not a good speller.
I know Mistress Persephone will be in soon as well.
Even good endings can be a hard adjustment and you know you are well loved and will have tons of ears to bend around here if you feel the need.
I’ve always got my AIM and MSN open.
I know you’ve been unhappy in your marriage for a long time. It’s a hard decision to make; but there’s quite a few of us on the board who have made the decision and ended up much better off. Life is too short to be miserable.
Keep in mind that you have many friends here, Euty, even if many aren’t exactly your next door neighbours. When you feel the need to vent, rant, and let your feelings have expression before they tear you up – let your friends know.
I wish all the best for you. A man as special to the world as you will see the way through.
You know where to find me if you need me. I’m a pretty good listener, too. And the shoulder’s always available.
I hope everything works out well for you both.
Be good to yourself, my friend. And I’m serious about emailing me or IMing. Sometimes just unloading can be a purgative and a cathartic. And I don’t mind.
Dear Euty,
You are a wise and compassionate man. As much as it hurts, honesty and communication is always the best path to take in this odd bog of a life. Keep doing that, and view the doors as always opening.
Beyond that, know that you have many loving friends here to fall into. Don’t be afraid of just letting go and floating for awhile while you get your bearings.
Muchos adoros, Patrick, and always here for you, too.
-L-
I’m sorry Euty. Sometimes as hard as we try, we just can’t make the world work right for us. You truly do have more friends than you realize. If you need anything, email is only a click away. You may be states away, but not worlds away. Take care my friend.
You mean that life isn’t SUPPOSED to be a “passionless blah?”
I’d say something about that sounds like a lousy reason for divorce and that you should stay together until the kids are out of the house then see if things don’t liven up except I’ll be kicked around for not being properly sympathetic.
Okay, a continuation and explanation for my snottiness earlier:
This marriage stopped being about the happiness of you or your wife the moment you had your first child. It is now about the happiness, support, and well-being of your three children. Before, you could act like a couple of romantic kids and say, “Boo-hoo! This isn’t fun anymore! I feel unfulfilled!” and I’d bless you as you parted. You passed that point a long time ago. Now, your job and your duty are first to your children. You and your wife run a distant fourth.
As any single parent here can attest, things would be a whole bunch easier with another adult around to help out, and another income couldn’t hurt, either. So what if the other person is boring or no longer makes you happy or this isn’t the life you intended to live when you were younger? No member of the family is being abused by one of you. There have been no knife fights. No shots have been fired. You have made a commitment to three people who need you around, and not just every other weekend. Don’t cheat them.
Listen shoe-maker, you just did say something about how that sounds like a lousy reason for divorce. It doesn’t matter how you bookended it. If you have something to say, speak plain.
dropzone, I’m amazed by your psychic abilities. All I got from Euty’s 200 word post is that the marriage is not working. The many circumstances that led up to this sad event are completely hidden from me, but apparently not from you.
Good luck, Euty. I can’t hope that this will be painless for you, but I do hope that you will have the strength to bear it. I think you will.
You’re a gifted man and you have more friends than I’ve had donuts. And I’ve had a lot of donuts in my time.
: